Episode 214: The Science of Kindness with Dr. Chris Culver

Darrin Peppard (00:01.186)

Hi everybody, welcome back into episode 214 of the Leaning Into Leadership podcast. Super stoked to have you joining me today. And I'll tell you what, I've got a great one for you. My guest today on the show is Dr. Chris Culver. And man, did we have an amazing conversation. I'll get to that in just a second. But first, I want to share a little bit of my work with you. See, this past week, I had the opportunity to keynote at two events.

And essentially what I did with those two keynotes was lead them more like a workshop that's focused on what really matters in school leadership. And that's clarity and intentionality. We really leaned into instructional leadership. We pushed hard on school culture. We really talked a lot about the power of leading with purpose. I was really humbled by some of the responses, some of the conversations I had with folks. Let me share this. One leader told me,

I walk away energized and excited to do more as a building leader. I want to be like you, still excited and loving what I do. I thought that was awesome. Another leader shared with me, man, Darren, you have provided with me with actionable thought provoking questions that helped me create my goals for next year. And I think that's the thing that struck me the most about the work here over the past couple of weeks, both

the week before in Virginia and these two during the course of this week was that each of the individuals who shared feedback with me consistently said, I'm not just leaving with ideas, I'm leaving with a plan. And you know, that to me is again, clarity and intentionality. Folks at this time of year, this is when we need to be getting really crystal clear.

about those plans we're gonna put together, and then really focus on how we can be intentional to follow through on that plan in the coming year. And really, that's kind of what today's episode is all about too. Dr. Chris Culver is joining me for an incredible conversation about the science of kindness, the evolving needs of Gen Z and Gen Alpha, and how we create cultures where everyone feels seen, heard, valued, and respected. Now his insights on connection and reflection

Darrin Peppard (02:26.636)

and belonging are super powerful. They're super practical. You are going to love this particular episode. So let's dive in to my conversation with Dr. Chris Culver.

Darrin Peppard (00:00)

All right, everybody, welcome back into the show. guest on the show today is Dr. Chris Culver. Super excited for this conversation. Excited to see where this conversation ultimately takes us, but let's just dive right in. Chris, thanks so much for joining me on Leaning Into Leadership.

Dr. Chris Culver (00:18)

Thanks so much for having me. I really appreciate the space to be here and to have this conversation with you, Dearon.

Darrin Peppard (00:23)

Yeah, I've been looking forward to this. ⁓ We've struggled a little bit finding time to make this happen, but that's okay. I'm really grateful to have you here on the show. Let's do this before we dive into our conversation. Let's maybe have you jump on the way back machine as far as you'd like to go, maybe kind of frame today's conversation with a little bit of background knowledge on Dr. Culver.

Dr. Chris Culver (00:46)

Absolutely, I appreciate that. So I'm from a divorced family. grew up, my mom and my dad separated when I was six. And the reason I mentioned that is because people always ask me, hey, where are you from? And I'm like, that's the hardest question for me to answer. I split time between North Carolina and Oklahoma, and that was normal to me, right? I grew up on a 300 acre farm on the weekends. ⁓ And being part of a divorced family, we know has its unique challenges and also its blessings. And so that was my normal life to have four parents. Graduated high school, knew that I always wanted to be a teacher. I played school from a little kid. My 10th birthday party was an Office Depot.

When ⁓

and

choose kindness for myself to go pursue what I knew that I wanted to do in life. I chose an English education route. And I'm not saying that it was easy, but it was easier, right? I knew that I was aligned with where I was supposed to be. ⁓ And so I graduated with my undergraduate, was a high school English teacher for several years, said I would never get a master's and be a school administrator. I was a school administrator. Said I would never do middle school, ended up as a middle school administrator. ⁓ And then most recently I served as ⁓ a team member of the superintendent's cabinet in the OKC Metro.

area. And during that time, I earned my doctorate research in school culture, motivation and the collective impact on teacher retention. And I have a five plus one framework and rooted in the science of kindness. And the reason I'm on this mission, Darren, I left my pre K through 12 job in June and been doing Orange Sparrow, my company since July. And the reason is I'm on a mission to spread love, joy, hope, kindness, optimism, no matter where I go. As someone who was picked on and bullied, as someone who was called names and put down growing up and even as an educational teacher and leader, I don't want to

to experience that. And so I'm on a mission, rooted in the science of kindness, to help educate around today's learners, to help spread the science of kindness, understand the impact of what kindness can do to our brain and for other people. And so it's been a journey. It's been a journey this last year with Orange Sparrow, but it's been so exciting to meet amazing people, including yourself, on this journey. And I'm grateful to be here in this space to have the conversation today.

Darrin Peppard (03:04)

Yeah,

outstanding. A lot of really, really good stuff in there. First, that you are the person that I occasionally refer to as, hey, this is the guy who grew up playing school. ⁓ I love to hear people's origin stories, what got them into education. And by far and away, you know this. Most people, they didn't set out to be in education. But you've got this interesting hybrid, too, where ⁓ even though you thought that's what you wanted to do, you still went and

did some other avenues and dropped out of college a few times. I did as well. I actually dropped out three times as well and briefly was a business major. ⁓ Yeah, I could handle accounting, but that didn't mean I liked it. It just wasn't my thing. ⁓ But where I really want to go and maybe have you share a little bit more to kind of dive us into our conversation. You mentioned that doctoral research ⁓ on

on kindness, on culture, the impact that it has on schools and culture. I'm sure you've discovered this in the time since you stepped out of your district role into what you do now. When I left my role four years ago, one of the things that I felt like, in fact, the thing I thought I was going to do was I'm going to talk about culture. I'm going to go to schools and I'm going to talk about culture because this is what I view as an important piece in culture.

everybody has a different take in culture, which is totally fine. Let's talk a little bit about that connection with kindness and culture. And I don't know, I'd love to have you maybe base some of that from the research and kind of move forward from there.

Dr. Chris Culver (04:46)

Absolutely. appreciate that question. Culture and climate is my jam. And let me tell you how and why it matters to me. So I worked at a school campus with a principal. I was an assistant principal. And I even hate to use these and these adjectives to describe this individual. But this is real. This is real. She was like the mix of the devil and Hitler together. Right. It was awful. Absolutely awful. And I remember at a staff of 80, we had 50 teachers resign at the end of the year. she was in the response was we have a teacher problem.

like that is not true. We have a leadership problem.

Darrin Peppard (05:19)

Wow.

Dr. Chris Culver (05:20)

But I'm grateful, right? In the time, I'll tell you this, I was not grateful. I was bitter party of one. I was like, why am I working in this toxic place? Like, how can I keep going? And I know you probably have a lot of listeners who are, who have experienced that or are experiencing that. Right. And what I realized is that it all starts with me. And so I may not be the one necessarily in charge of the whole entire building, but I can be what I can do in my pocket of excellence. Right. And so that's kind of how it all started. But that also led me to researching my, to do my research for my dissertation. I researched middle level school culture motivation and retention.

And what I found, Darren, is that it's relationships, trust, empowerment, autonomy, and recognition with clear and transparent communication that makes people feel seen, heard, valued, and respected. And the reason I mentioned being seen, heard, valued, and respected is because as humans, we're naturally wired to want to belong. We want to know that we fit in. We want to know that we're a part of a community. And for so long, I recognize that we have been in spaces of respect because of title or position. But today's generation doesn't operate that way. So respect is

the two-way street, right? And so I'm really passionate about making sure individuals understand that our students and our teachers need to feel seen, heard, valued, and respected. And so as a college professor, one of the things that I do at the start of every semester is I work with my students to create our class syllabus, right? I have ideas of what this is going to look like, but I want them to know it's our community just as much as it is mine, right? They're a part of the community. We're learning together. And I know that's hard for some people. I know it's hard to give voice and choice and to have those respective conversations.

conversations, but when people feel valued in that way when they feel like they're a part of the community they're feeling like they're giving back and their voice was heard it is really really incredible what it can do because The research is clear around what dr. Kelly Harding says and the rabid effect of the science of kindness If you know your six neighbors, you're more likely to feel trusted and have a relationship in your neighborhood, right? So let's take that same understanding and apply it to a school if I know six of my classmates or if I know six of my colleagues or I know six of my administrators right if you're in a really large campus, I feel like

then, I have trust in this space, right? I have relationships with individuals who make me feel seen, heard about, and respected. You don't be connected with all 88 or 200 people on your team, but you've got to be connected to somebody because connection is what matters. And in a time when the research says that one in five adults don't have friends, one in ten kids are lonely, 50 % of adolescents are lonely and disconnected, we have to foster connection and it all starts with how we treat one another and we want to treat people the way we want to be treated.

Darrin Peppard (07:45)

So one of the things I love so much about that, man, who there's a lot in there that I really truly love. And you're a part of this project, actually, the our book culture first classroom said that Katie kinder and I did, ⁓ you've got a wonderful contribution in that book. The core of where that book came from, I don't even know if you know this story. ⁓ Katie and I had a really great conversation when I started teaching.

the advanced classroom management course that I teach for Fort Hay State University. And to me, classroom management is the wrong phrase. I think it's classroom culture. And everything that you just talked about, to me, it just reinforces so much of where that needs to be be leaned into for students to have those relationships where they feel seen, heard.

⁓ tell me, tell me your, my four are seen, heard, valued and trusted. And so I can't, I, I know you, only have one word different, but

Dr. Chris Culver (08:49)

seen her divide and respected as my fourth one. yeah, trust.

Darrin Peppard (08:51)

There you go. Respect it.

Yeah. Either way. Either way. Great stuff there. So ⁓ let's maybe build on that a little bit. So teachers are listening right now. School administrators are listening right now. Especially if you are a new school administrator, stop the car. Take notes. ⁓ Pause this and then take notes when you can get somewhere else. Because, what I'd like you to go here with is what are some of the steps that teachers

new administrators should be supporting their teachers with to start building that culture in the classroom that you're talking about that I believe so strongly in.

Dr. Chris Culver (09:31)

Well, first and foremost, if you're not studying in collaborative learning groups, we've got to shift from rows to collaboration. And here's why. The research is clear. Rows were only created in the 1960s for janitors to clean classrooms. It was never to increase achievement or outcomes for students. And we in a world that have moved away from a play-based childhood to a phone-based childhood, we're now teaching friendship. We're now teaching connection in our classroom. And I know when we say that to teachers or educators, they're like, where am going to put that? That's one more thing, right? Those collaborative groups immediately begin to foster connection. Students are

actually going to begin to ask questions to one another, engage in conversation. If they don't, we can have sentence starters. We have sentence stems. Those things are so intentional to help build those connections, that collaboration. Additionally, a teacher and administrator can use a student's name, using a student's name at the door or in conversation increases engagement by 33%. Right? So these, these small things, smiling at someone, letting them know you miss them. I know students are going to make some choices where they get to have an extended vacation that we might be jealous about, right? They made some choices that get them somewhere else. They're coming back.

They're coming back to us. Same for a teacher who may make a poor choice that may be on leave or something, right? They're coming back. We want them to know that we miss them. We don't want to talk about the past. We want to live in the present and move to the future. Let them know that we're here to help them, right? All of those things send speak volumes to individuals. Let them know, hey, someone sees me. I have someone here I can trust and it begins to break those walls down knowing that so many individuals, so many individuals are living with adverse childhood experience scores or a scores of four or more with all the trauma they've navigated. This is really important.

This allows individuals to drop their wall, to feel like they're seen, and respected. They're competent and confident in the space. They feel like they have connection and they feel like they belong. And so it's not really big grandiose of things, Darren, that's gonna make someone feel like they're part of a community. Collaboration, using a name, smile, and treating kids, treating teachers, treating individuals literally the way you'd wanna be treated. And I always say, if you wouldn't do it to your kid, your own grandkids, your own children, please don't do it to somebody else's, right? We wanna give love and light to people.

Darrin Peppard (11:30)

Yeah, no, agree with that 100%. And I'm kind of curious to maybe, maybe let's dig a little bit deeper there. Because, and you and I were talking about this before we hit the record button. You you walk into a school now and you and I are both in a lot of schools all over the place and you walk into a school now and the average age of the classroom teacher probably hasn't changed that much, but there could not be a larger gap.

in terms of the generations that we have in our classrooms. I I'm thinking back to some of the folks that I worked with as a building administrator, as a district administrator, that that are now, you know, my age or older, and they're and they're retiring, or they're still there. But there are people younger than my daughter, who's in her mid 20s, entering classrooms now.

man, if I, if I'm a school administrator, if I'm a school administrator, especially if I'm an early career school administrator, and I'm thinking about the culture of my school, I've got to lean into everything you just talked about, belonging, relationships, trust, all of this type of thing, with maybe four different generations in my building who couldn't be more different. One,

I'd love to have you just, just take that and run just riff for a little bit. But also let's maybe drop a little knowledge for our school administrators who are like, how do I balance this? How do I, how do we bring everybody together?

Dr. Chris Culver (13:14)

Yeah, first and foremost, we have to always assume positive intent, right? We have to ask questions and seek to understand. I think it's important to highlight that our veterans who have been teaching longer than I've been alive, first and foremost, thank you so much for your service to the field of education. But secondly, they have a lot of experience and expertise that we need to lean into, right? We need to lean into what's worked with them. Where are their challenges? Where are their pain points? And same for our young folks. They have innovative and creative ideas that they're coming out of college with that maybe we didn't think about, or maybe they've been in their first three, four years of teaching that they don't know about. We can build mentorships and

collaboration by partnering individuals together, by creating those safe spaces, say, hey, I'm trying this or I failed at this or right. We can do that. We get to create those spaces. But to pour into kind of the idea that you said about the different generational pieces, think about this for a second as a millennial. And I'm not going ask anybody to age themselves. But we've moved away from a play based childhood to a phone based childhood. Right. So ⁓ when I was growing up, I came home from school. We were outside until the lights came on. My mom said, don't come inside. We'll have dinner together. That kind of that kind of thing. Right.

Now, in a space of vulnerability, I look outside and I don't see kids playing. I don't see kids interacting. I don't see the same thing. But when we think about when we were outside playing, we were having that opportunity to engage with one another. We were learning those executive functioning skills. We were learning problem solving. We were learning teamwork. We were learning how to fail without being emotional, right? We were learning all of these critical components that were not necessarily aligned to content or academic outcomes, but made us successful humans within the learning space. And so we have to be mindful of that. We have to be mindful that we've shifted away. And I was telling you this,

before we started recording, I leaned in to TikTok the last week and I'll tell you vulnerably, I was like, I'm going to figure this thing out. Why are kids so obsessed with TikTok? Why are they wanting to be there? And it makes sense to me now. It totally makes sense because we don't have the community of connection with playing and connecting in the park or in our front yard or our backyard. And I am listening to these individuals who are going live or posting their videos on TikTok. They're saying it right in front of our face. They don't feel seen. They don't feel heard. They don't feel like they have connection with friends and belonging. They don't feel like they have any

So they're building their own community online. And I was explaining this to my grandfather this morning. He was 92 and he didn't understand it. He was like, we just get up and walk outside and talk to Bob. I was like, that's not how it works anymore, right? And so I think again, just reinforcing that point. We have different age leaders. Again, thank you for your service. But just being mindful that we have teachers who are Gen Z. We have teachers that are not Gen Alpha yet, but they're coming. have Generation Beta that's joining us in schools in five years. In five years, we're going to have even more generational differences than

Darrin Peppard (15:25)

Yeah.

Dr. Chris Culver (15:43)

now

we are in a tech driven society. Our this Gen Z, Gen Alpha is super slang obsessed, social media driven, addicted to technology, right? But all of that is they're looking for their space of belonging. And so when they don't have that connection at school, right, if they if a new teacher does not have a connection with a mentor or an administrator, they're going to go home and say their job sucks or the place sucks, or they don't feel like something happens. And when the day comes, because listen, I believe that not there's not something great. And there's every day is not great. But there's something great in

single day and that's our responsibility to see it that way. But if you don't have that connection, you don't have that thought partner, you don't have that trusted relationship on campus with an adult or with an individual, if you've had a rough day you're kind of internalizing that. You don't know what to do right and so it makes you look for where are my people, where's my connection, where's that belonging. So as a school leader, as someone who's a new and inspiring leader, you have to recognize we have to build that community. We have to build that connection and family to hear everyone's story right. What is their origin and assume positive intent really.

ask questions to seek to understand and listen. All of those things are forms of kindness and I know that we don't always receive it that way, but that is being kind to other people. Actively listening with no device or distraction is being kind. Helping foster connection in relationships is being kind. And so as we go into summer planning, as we go into back to school season, as we wrap up the year, ⁓ I would encourage, I would highly encourage school administrators to connect new teachers with veteran teachers, veteran teachers with veteran, I mean, let's get the connection happening within our space so we have the

those opportunities to try new things, to talk about ⁓ the fear and failure and those moving pieces. And so it's intentionality, right? It's making sure that we're intentional with our time to set those structures up.

Darrin Peppard (17:25)

Yeah,

no, I agree with that. And I'm really curious about that. Number one, it makes a lot of sense. And number two, I'm wondering now how do we let's push that back into the classroom. You've already mentioned setting up collaborative spaces where students have those opportunities to be together. I will tell you I am a huge fan of, big advocate of the Kagan Cooperative Strategies.

I think I think the more we can do to get kids talking to each other, the better. But let's let's say, let's say I'm a veteran teacher. And let's say I'm, I'm a veteran teacher who didn't know that rows were put in place to make it easier for custodians to clean. By the way, I heard you say that in North Carolina in your session. And I'm like, No way. Is that really true? And it is really true. Yeah. So not that I would think you would lie to us. But, but

But nonetheless, I mean, I think that's a powerful thing. And yes, we're still in so many cases, married to the Rose. But but let's say I'm a veteran teacher who who still thinks the boy my Rose or my thing, that's what I have to do. And, those kinds of things. So what what are some things when you're talking with schools, and I know you do this work a lot, you're you're you're working with teachers, you're working with with schools, you're working with leaders, what are some things that you recommend? Maybe to the reluctant?

teacher to find ways to build relationships with a phone based tech based tech addicted group of young people.

Dr. Chris Culver (19:06)

Well

We have to recognize first that this generation of learners, this generation of teachers, the Gen Z, Gen Alpha, those teachers, those students, they are visual kinesthetic learners, right? So I appreciate all of the worksheet wizards out there. I appreciate those who use their Xerox copies all year long. But here's the deal. That's not going to engage students, right? We have to engage students in a way in which they are having discourse with other classmates. And so if it's, if you're reluctant, you're like, I'm not going to move out of my rows. This is my safe haven. This is I control my classroom. I, I've heard it.

I've

heard that this is my classroom management strategy. My push to you would be try one group project, try one in group project class assignment where students are up working together. But here's the deal, you're to have have clear expectations. What's every single student doing, right? What does it look like as they're moving? And so that's going to take some intentional planning on your side as an educator or as a leader to get kids up and moving about engaged in that work. I teach too at the university level working with new teachers going into the classroom and they do their students.

teaching with and I also work with new principals who are going into the principalship. And one of the things that I do at the start of each class, because I know our students are emotionally dysregulated and I know that in order for everyone to have equitable access to success, it's small things that I can do to create that culture in our classroom. So one of the things that we start out with, we name things we're grateful for. So three students will share out gratitude, then I'm the fourth and we start. And I'll tell you, sometimes it feels silly. I'm like, gosh, I don't even know if this is working. But towards the end of the semester, one of the students raised her hand and she said, Hey, Dr. Culver, I love this.

that we do gratitude at the start of each class. And I said, I'm grateful you're grateful for that, but I want to know why. Like, why do you find that helpful? And she said, in a positive way, we get to connect with our classmates and hear the struggles that they're navigating or what they're celebrating. And it's really quick and helpful. So we can be that shoulder for them if they need to, or we can be there to be their champion. I got moved, I'll be honest. I almost had tears in my eyes. I was like, that wasn't really my purpose of doing this, of this thing, but it really does help us feel more connection, right? And so it's simple.

What are three things that you're grateful for at the end of class? I do the same thing. What are three things that are good right now, right? Let's reflect on what are three things that are good right now Because so many of our kids today so many of our teachers today in this tech driven world We are we are consuming consuming consuming and our brains are not wired for that So this allows us the opportunity to pause and reflect and I and I share all that with you to say at the end of lesson I know it's hard with all of our 50 minutes 45 minutes 55 whatever your schedule may be But that intentional reflection for students to say or teachers to say hey, how am I feeling?

right? How did this work for me? How all this? ⁓ What was the what was the high? What did I learn today? Right? Where are my emotions heightened? Who did I connect with? This this really intentional, this really intentional reflection does help individuals feel like they're connected and they feel like they're belong. So those those shifts, right? Those shifts of having group project building and gratitude, being mindful what's happening, reflection. Those could be simple ways in which you begin to foster that connection and relationships within your classroom without having to give up your your guarded rows and your safety measures for classroom management.

Thanks,

Darrin Peppard (22:07)

Yeah,

no, I think that's really great. There's a couple of pieces in there that really stand out to me that I think are really, really powerful. Just listening to you talk about the whole, what are you grateful for? That type of thing. It makes me think about a good friend of mine, somebody who I know you are connected with and have met, Dr. Frederick Busky, begins every conversation, every meeting with

Tell me something you're celebrating. And I think what it does, in fact, I know what it does. It really forces us to be thinking about positives. I think it gives us the opportunity to reframe our mind a little bit. And especially we know when kids come through our door, and I'm speaking mostly about high school because those are who are in my head, but this is very true of middle school as well because we have them moving around.

when they come rolling through the door, they're carrying something with them. ⁓ And so when they have that opportunity, maybe to just, just pause a little bit, you know, Hey, it's, it's, it's possible. Dr. Culver might call on me. I better have a good answer, at least then I have to reframe in my mind, you know, Hey, what, you know, what am I grateful for right now? I also love that, that wrap up piece. And you know, for years we have pushed

teachers to, you know, find effective ways to, to wrap up a classroom and, know, things like an exit ticket or, you know, you know, sharing, you know, ⁓ a pair share with, know, here's what I learned today or something like that. But, but I like how you phrase that with it being intentional reflection. And I think the more we can, and I want you to, I want you to maybe take this and run with this. I think the more we can be intentional with reflection.

You know, I talk about it in Road to Awesome as that balcony level leadership where we kind of get up out of the fray, right, and really take some time.

My belief is that it not only strengthens our mental health, but it also strengthens our performance. So I want you to maybe run a little bit further with with the reflection piece.

Dr. Chris Culver (24:27)

Yeah, absolutely. So I agree with you. It helps rewire our brain to help us because I will say this, no matter what the course may be, even if you're passionate about it, there's gonna be challenges in the content, right? There's gonna be challenges in the reading or the math. And I'll tell you, math was not my forte. I dropped out with statistics, but I proved to myself all these years later with my quantitative study for my dissertation that I could do statistics, right? So it's the power of resiliency and perseverance. But it's that reflection piece of saying, okay, maybe I couldn't have done it then, but I can do it now. And I think that's what we have to teach students too.

like, hey, today may not be your day, but tomorrow you may be closer than you were today, right? It's all about being 1 % better than where we were today, because by the time we look back at the end of the year, we'll be 37 times better than when we started. And so ⁓ it's not the big grandiose of things, it's the small steps. And so asking yourself, how did I feel when I was navigating something that was difficult, right? How did my friend or my classmate help me through this when I was struggling? What are some additional questions that I still have? ⁓ So I think when we have those conversations, and I don't make students

share out their reflection to the class if they want to. It's always a safe space to do that, but it's not a requirement. ⁓ One of the other pieces is a little bit segue off of the reflection, but one of the pieces that begin to help us foster the spaces at the start of the semester. We've all heard of. wish my teacher knew I wish my administrator knew I wrote to my students. I wish my students knew I wish you knew all of these things about me, right? And I've vulnerably read that and shared it with them to say hey, I was picked on a bully. I am nice and sometimes taken advantage of. I have your best interests at heart.

And ⁓ I asked them in turn to do the exact same thing. What is something you wish my teacher knew? And I'll tell you what, Darren, because it was anonymous, because they got you to say the thing and there was no ⁓ guardrails, they've lived some life. And you're making exactly a good point. We never know adults or students what someone else is going through. We never know what their story is. so kindness is free and kindness, maybe our kindness, maybe the only example of kindness that they see, but it can change someone's experience and someone's story.

And so I think about when we are having those spaces of safety and we create this culture from the very beginning on the first day of school or at summer or the starter class, wherever it is in your journey, when we reinforce that at the closure, right? It's still my exit ticket. I'm still assessing, they get the content I wanted them to do? But how are they emotionally feeling? Are they feeling they're set up for success? Are they frustrated and giving up? Right? Where is that piece? And the reason I mentioned that is because as we talked about, they're struggling with perseverance. They're struggling with resiliency. They see failure as bad.

I want to communicate to them, like, failure's not bad. That setback could be lining you up for your greatest comeback. And we don't know that yet. And so we have to work together to cultivate this experience. And it all starts with intentionality. And so I change the way I close and start classes just for that effort to let kids know, hey, I see you. I respect you. You're seen here. You're part of our community. And I want to help you be not only academically successful, but also emotionally grounded and centered.

Darrin Peppard (27:20)

Yeah, outstanding stuff, man. my goodness, man, we could just keep rolling and rolling and rolling on this. But as as tends to happen here on the show, our time has absolutely flown by. So so let me transition at this point then to the last question I ask everybody here on the show. So this is the leaning into leadership podcast. So Dr. Chris Culver, how are you leaning into leadership right now?

Dr. Chris Culver (27:44)

Well, my belief is you don't need a title to lead. It all starts with kindness because when you're kind to other people, you're boldly and courageously lifting people up to say, want you to follow me because I'm treating people the way I want to be treated. So when you do that, you're naturally creating that culture. And so I am living and walking a life of kindness as much as I can every day. And I'll tell you, I'm human. I had a moment yesterday where I had some internal dialogue that was pretty negative and I had to fix it. And that's what I realized is my kindness. I'm in charge of my own emotions, the way I show up and show out. And that's leadership. Leadership is being emotionally grounded.

making sure that I am emotionally centered to serve and help people. And I think it's one of the things that is the first to go when we're serving in really stressful, anxious, high-pressured situations that we know schools and districts can be. And so I always say, are you giving yourself the same grace and compassion that you do other people? And are you talking to yourself as you would like a friend? Because if you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself. And so to me, kindness is leadership, and I'm leaning all the way into being kind.

Darrin Peppard (28:40)

Outstanding man I love that that is so so very good. People are going to want to get in touch with you they're going to follow you obviously you are you're out there dominating it now on tick tock and they're going to want to learn more about orange sparrow. Give them the quick here's how you find Chris Culver.

Dr. Chris Culver (28:55)

Absolutely, I'm grateful to share that I am on all social media platforms at Dr. Chris Culver. I'd love to connect you there and my website www.orangesparrow.org. You can check out the blog, you can subscribe for our newsletter, all of the pieces there to keep you up to date with free resources and all the moving pieces. Again, www.orangesparrow.org.

Darrin Peppard (29:15)

Sounds outstanding, man. Thank you so much, Chris, for sitting down and having a conversation with me here on Leaning Into Leadership.

Dr. Chris Culver (29:21)

Thanks for having me, I appreciate you, Darren.

Well, as I said, folks, that was an amazing conversation with Dr. Chris Culver, somebody that I've gotten to know a little bit better and better and better over the course of maybe the last calendar year, and certainly somebody that I respect and think very highly of. certainly Chris pushes and challenges my thinking and stretches my thinking when it comes to how do we look at culture? How do we ensure that

we are thinking about the needs of all the different generations that are part of our school. Fantastic conversation. Again, thank you, Dr. Chris Culver.

And now it's time for a pep talk. I want to talk about some other work that I did over the course of this past week. And this was one where it was really about me going and sharpening my own saw. I attended the two day Excel Institute's Coaching Effect Summit. It was a fantastic event. It was a wonderful opportunity to listen, learn and grow alongside

leaders in all different industries. There were a grand total of three educators who were at this conference. Everybody else was from medical supply industry, farming, ranching, wireless technology, just all different walks of life. And one of the more powerful sessions I attended

was a session on accountability and empathy and how those two can potentially lead to some blind spots for us. The presenter, Sarah Worth, who I'm going to try to get on the podcast. I thought she was amazing. She shared about really four areas where, or four quadrants of leadership. When you put accountability and empathy together, your high accountability, high empathy leader, high accountability, low empathy leader, your

high empathy but low accountability leader, and then finally low empathy and low accountability leaders, and how each of them may be perceived by their individual staff. And this was done through data and through research, and I found it really fascinating. But I think what I was most curious about, and this is what I want to challenge you today with the PEP talk, is where might you fall in your areas of highest stress?

Are you that motivator, that high empathy and high accountability leader? Are you more the enforcer who's that high accountability but low empathy? Are you more of a buddy, which is that high empathy but low accountability leader? Or are you a ghost? Low empathy, low accountability.

Darrin Peppard (08:44.024)

I've been thinking about this a lot and I want to find ways to challenge the leaders I work with on a daily basis to get them to think about where would they fall within these four quadrants and what might be some ways that they could be conscious of that so that they don't necessarily move into a space that is not desirable for the employees and the people that they lead. Where might you fall?

I'd love to have you think about that. I'd love to hear from some of you. Where do you fall in those four categories? Again, the motivator, the enforcer, the buddy, or the ghost. Hey, that's what I've got for you this week, I've got something very special. I'm going to throw this on here right at the end. I should have said it at the very beginning of the podcast. But folks, coming this week, you will see two special episodes, Tuesday and Wednesday. This week,

the following week and the week after that. Because in concert with NASSP, I have had the opportunity to sit down and interview the three finalists for the National Middle School Principal of the Year and the three finalists for the National High School Principal of the Year. You will get one interview with a middle school, one interview with a high school each of the next three weeks.

released in the middle of the week. can't wait. I'm excited to share it with you folks. These are some unbelievable leaders. You are going to love them. You're going learn so much from them. So that's what I have for you this week, Thank you so much for joining me here on Leaning Into Leadership podcast. Get out there. Have a road to awesome week.