Episode 226: Stressed Leaders Stay in the Game with Dan Stecken

Dr. Darrin Peppard (00:00.75)

All right, my friends, welcome back into the Leaning Into Leadership podcast. This is episode 226. And you know, as a brand new high school principal, I thought I could do it all. I was running from crisis to crisis, trying to be everything to everyone. And in the process, I ran myself into the ground. I missed my best friend's wedding because I was so sick I couldn't get off the couch. And honestly, that moment was a big wake up call.

And unfortunately, that's not an uncommon story for school leaders. Now, my guest today on the show is Dan Stechen, and Dan knows this story all too well. He lived it. As a Marine, a coach, and now as a superintendent, Dan embraced the first one in, last one out mentality. And it nearly cost him everything. But his story didn't end there. Instead, he found a way to lead differently and to help others do the same.

And we're going to have a conversation with Dan about that today. He's going to share some insights from his new book, Stressed Leaders Stay in the Game, along with some other tips and some ideas that all of us as leaders can lean into to try to eliminate as much of the stress in our lives and allow ourselves to show up as the best leader we possibly can. Let's waste no time at all. Let's get right to it with my guest, Dan Stechen.

Darrin Peppard (00:01.09)

You know, when I look back at my career as a school and district leader and specifically as a school leader, I'm taken back to a time as the high school principal, my first year as the high school principal. And listeners to the show, you've heard this story before, so I won't belabor it. Let's just say I was a mess. I was trying to do everything. I ran myself ragged. And it really culminated when

Christmas of my second year as the building principal, my best friend was getting married. He was on my leadership team, but he was getting married back in Arizona. And I was supposed to be in the wedding. We go into Christmas break and I get so sick. I can't get off the couch. The truth is I should have been in the hospital. I ended up missing my best friend's wedding because I didn't take care of myself. The interesting thing is we bought the the wedding attire.

that summer. And even if I had been healthy, I wasn't going to fit into that clothing. I did such a poor job of taking care of myself in those first couple of years as a building administrator. And I know that that is not uncommon. I know that that is something many of us go through. And my guest on the show today, Dan Stechen, a superintendent in Seneca, Illinois, has the remedy.

Dan Stecken (01:06.822)

you

Darrin Peppard (01:28.91)

He has been through it. He has lived it. And now he's doing what he can to help others not struggle with it near as much. Dan, thank you so much for joining me here on the podcast.

Dan Stecken (01:41.316)

Hey, thanks for having me, Darren. I appreciate that. And I'm listening to your story, not in long saying, yep, that was me, rookie superintendent, COVID. Going through the exact same scenarios, being a Marine, first one in at 5 a.m., last one out going to every sporting event, know, meeting, shaking hands, kissing babies, talking to everybody in the community. And you're absolutely right. And a lot of times with those habits.

Darrin Peppard (01:48.578)

Yeah.

Dan Stecken (02:11.065)

your personal health takes a side. It doesn't get the attention it needs. And in my case, I gained 100 pounds doing that, not taking care of myself. I've always been a hard worker, but my own personal health and physical health and mental health took a backseat to serving everybody else.

Darrin Peppard (02:21.29)

Oof. Yeah.

Darrin Peppard (02:35.042)

Yeah. So, so I shared a little bit of your background when I did the intro, the cold open before we, before we came on here. but maybe just, just give a little bit, you know, feeling maybe some of the gaps that, aren't in your bio. You've already kind of just, you know, started to talk about this, but maybe just, I don't know, let's orient the listeners a little bit into who Dan Stechen is. And then I really want to dive into this conversation.

Dan Stecken (02:59.907)

Yeah, you know, I've always been a servant leader in everything I've ever done dating back to my playing days as an athlete to leadership to teaching head coach. You know, fulfill my cup by helping others and leading others. And it's always come natural to me. I was always involved in every activity as a young kid. Never was the best at anything, but was somebody that would drop something to help someone else.

And in doing so, what I kind of discovered in my early 40s was that I was always enabling or supporting or empowering other people and not doing the same for myself. So as a young superintendent, I realized I needed to make some changes and I sort of accidentally stumbled upon that by hearing about the pain points and struggles that other colleagues were going through. And, you know, it started as just being an ear to listen.

I took a lot of the leadership lessons I learned as a varsity head coach into supporting other leaders and quickly found out that most adult leaders are the same as high school student athletes. The same personal troubles, the same relationship troubles, the same time management struggles. And I sort of was leaning into other people and what I kind of had a come to Jesus moment with was that

I was probably my best client, if you will, and the person struggling the most with the things I was trying to help other people with. And so in my book, Stress Leaders Stay in the Game, that's what it's about. It's about staying in the game, finding habits that you can create to help yourself be a leader first. Because if you're not leading yourself, you're not going to be able to fully support everybody else.

I had a couple really good colleagues and friends that were going through a tough time and as a young superintendents as well and I wanted to be there to help them and as I came to quickly realize I had to help myself first and I went through probably a two to three year kind of metamorphosis becoming a much healthier person physically and that bled over into all walks of my life especially as a leader.

Darrin Peppard (05:17.644)

So you said something very early in there that I want to go back to because I think it's something that is a bit of a fallacy. And when I say this, and I think listeners to the show have heard me talk about this a few times, but servant leadership, every one of us, when we go through our leadership programs, know, master's programs, doctorate programs, whatever, whatever, you know, preparation program you go through.

you hear about being a servant leader and every one of us have sat at the table and said in the interview, how much you want to be a servant leader. And here's where I think it's a fallacy. I think to me, so many great leaders think they have to serve everyone else. They have to do everything for everybody else. I think this is the trap Dan that we walk into, right? And you know,

reality, I think, and maybe it's just me, you can tell me if you feel differently, but I think great servant leaders empower others to serve themselves just as much as we do to help them. Because when all we do is serve, serve, serve, that's when we gain 100 pounds or we gain 50 pounds or, you know, we make ourselves so sick because we're working 18 hour days, we're up shooting emails off at two in the morning.

I mean, I can go on forever. You know what I mean. go with that just a little bit. Talk a little bit about maybe your perception, your view of that servant leadership and maybe that fallacy that could exist.

Dan Stecken (07:03.301)

You're spot on Darren, it's the concept of you're always on. No matter where I go, no matter what I do, I'm always on. even as you and I talk on this podcast, my phone and my office, my cell phone, my email is blowing up. one of the reasons it, well, as I,

Darrin Peppard (07:25.73)

Yeah, we've heard the email chime like several times. I mean, this is just real and authentic,

Dan Stecken (07:31.716)

Well, this is why I wrote my book. And this is why I do what I do on Substack. It's why I try to help other people. I'm in a great district. I'm surrounded by great people. My staff is amazing. My admin cabinet is great. But there's always a fire, right?

And so as I'm trying to allocate time to be intentional and focus and listen better with you, I've got people blowing up my stuff. And it's a situation where even though it's July in the summer, people think, school in the summer, there's nothing going on. We've got a vendor here who was red flagged on our system.

And so I've got a secretary asking me, what do I do? What do I do? And so one of the things in five years as a superintendent that I've gotten better at is not being that firefighter that's always on and empowering other people to lead themselves. And so like I said to my secretary, while I'm trying to be intentional with you, you got this, you know what to do, deny them. I'm sorry.

We have a situation, you we've got a school resource officer that's not here today, but he's in the community and we can handle this. And I found that, you know, maybe three years ago, I would have dropped everything and told you, Darren, I'm sorry, I got to take this. got it. We got to do this another time. Let's reschedule. But the reality is as as a, as a leader, I can make every single decision in this district and handle every single problem. I can do that. And I used to, but you know, when you burn the candle at both ends,

When you are that Marine here at 5 a.m. going home at 9.30, there's so many things that suffer. we joke in my house that dad is husband of the year and father of the year. And it's a joke, but one of the realities is as a leader, that job steals from your home. And you have to support other people and empower other people to make those tough decisions.

Darrin Peppard (09:26.83)

Yeah.

Dan Stecken (09:32.773)

and they don't have to have the superintendent make every decision for them. You got this, you can do this, we've talked about how to handle this. It's a difficult conversation to turn somebody away and handle this fire yourself, but you don't need me to be your help desk. I don't have to be geek squad for everybody. And a lot of young leaders really, really struggle with that.

Darrin Peppard (09:52.974)

Let's go a little further with that. mean, we'll come back to the book and the retreat and everything to do with stress leaders. But I want to run with us just a little bit further because you're absolutely right. So many young leaders are, you know, they're going to fall into that trap. And some of it, I don't know. I had Jimmy Costas on the podcast here a little while back and he said something I'd never thought of, but I think he was totally spot on. Sometimes

We want to do that because there's like this sense of accomplishment, like, yeah, they need me to do this. And as we mature a little bit as leaders, as we start to understand what leadership really is about, really about empowering those folks to go and make their own decisions, we learn different ways to handle that. I've shared some on the podcast over the years. And so I'd like to hear you maybe share

Just a few insights into how do you, you just shared how you do this with your secretary. How do you empower your cabinet to go make that decision, you know, without me needing to run into the fire with you?

Dan Stecken (11:06.981)

Yeah, I actually talked about that in my keynote at our retreat. I call it the God Complex. That as the superintendent, you can easily fall into this trap of like Jimmy said, they need me. I'm the man, I'm the BMOC, the big man on campus, I'm the top dog. And being the top dog, you've got a bullseye on your back when something goes wrong.

Darrin Peppard (11:14.456)

There you go.

Dan Stecken (11:34.404)

and you don't get in this leadership business to get at a boys, nobody's calling me up to say, man, you rocked that board meeting. You killed that thing. That was amazing. I know I have never received that call, but, but there is that, that sense of affirmation when you help somebody solve that problem or as a young leader, you solved it for them.

Darrin Peppard (11:43.534)

You're not getting those calls, really? Yeah, no kidding.

Dan Stecken (11:59.024)

I mean, I've got one director that still comes in my office almost daily to say, hey, how would you do this? know, what do I do? What do I do here? And I've told my entire team that I want to empower you to be a leader and I don't want to micromanage you. I don't want to do your job too. You know, on one hand, don't make me micromanage you, but if you're really struggling with something, you can stop in, we can talk about it. And if I'm too busy,

If I'm too busy at the moment and it's not a it's not a 911 emergency, I'll tell them, Hey, I can't handle this right now, but at one o'clock today, I've got 10 minutes. I'll come down to your office and let's talk about it. You know, I actually just wrote about in my sub stack in my keynote at the retreat. I, know, Darren, I love PD. I love growing. I'm building my network. It's, it's amazing, but I hate professional development where you just sit and get. And so.

I always wanted to run a PD that was immersive, active, and I wanted it to be real. I don't need to listen to theory. don't need you to tell me this works because it's backed by peer-reviewed research and that's important.

but I wanted real tangible solutions. So one of the solutions that I just wrote about was the pop-in. You you want to be a great leader, you want to have an open door policy, you want people to like you, and you get people that just pop in and they hijack your day. And what they're doing is they're not just coming in to say, hey, there's Dan, he's a good guy, I want to hang out with Dan. They're coming in to dump their problems on my lap and have me solve it for them.

And as a young leader, was, you know, let me, yeah, close my laptop. Come on, let's figure this out together. And I still want to support my leaders, but as I've tried to explain to them, you know, my principle, you're in charge of teacher evaluation. You're the instructional leader. I'm not going to do that. But if you're struggling with something, I will.

Dan Stecken (14:00.6)

I will help you, but I'm not going to be that geek squad. So it's about them growing as well and me supporting them in their efforts to grow. And then it's regular check-ins. It's growing that relationship. You know, it's me talking to my principal and say, Hey, what, know, tell me why you're struggling with this and what can we do to, make you better at solving this crisis? I think, I think as leaders, we are burning the candle at both ends. We don't reflect enough. don't, we don't slow down and think about that decision we made. It's, it's like Jimmy said, it's that,

that God complex. It's, man, I really helped him solve that. Now let's move on to the next fire.

All right, man, just some awesome stuff right there. So let's let's shift gears just a little bit. I want to talk a little bit about the book, the retreat, that kind of thing. Folks, for those of you watching on YouTube, I'm holding up a copy of the book, Stressed Leaders Stay in the Game. Dan has referenced it a couple of times. But stressed is crossed out. So the title is Stressed Leaders, but stressed is crossed out. Dan, tell us a little bit about that.

Dan Stecken (19:16.357)

Well, I think every leader is stressed. I used to joke because my district and my role is such a great school district that I'm too blessed to be stressed. And I was lying to myself. mean, I think like most leaders listening or watching, we are doing way too much. We're trying way too hard, too much energy. We've got a great passion, a great mission. We have a great why.

The reality is we are stressed. And so for me, the concept was bridging how do I take this stressed leader and then eliminate or help find solutions to make that stress less. So kind of slashing through the line of the name, stressed leaders, was kind of a culmination. Like I'm turning the page, I'm getting to the point, I'm...

taking this brand on my hat and I'm eliminating or finding ways to be better at removing that stress from my life and from my leadership.

Darrin Peppard (20:17.738)

I know the book is loaded with some great ideas of how you can go about doing exactly that. And folks, I'll tell you this. I I absolutely love this book. I think it's a wonderful book. Yes, we did publish it here at Road to Awesome. So yes, there is that. But I will tell you, I think the book is fantastic. And it's really kind of broken into two parts. The early part, Dan's story. Dan just going through what, I mean, he's kind of given us a microcosm of it, but

there's a lot of real like raw stuff in this book about like, you know, how you struggled. But then the second half of the book is a lot of here are some ways to go about moving past that here are some things you can do to alleviate or minimize that stress as much as possible. So maybe give us I don't know two or three.

really good strategies that you utilize and that you think would be really beneficial to listeners. As this episode is going live in late July, early August, people are getting ready to start back up their school year. And yeah, they've had the summer. They breathed out, they've, kind of relaxed a little. But here comes the stress, right? It's not going to last. So give them some strategies that they can put in place from the word go.

Dan Stecken (21:35.654)

Yeah, I think the best one for me, and I know everybody's different, but I'll share for me is just creating good habits. And the most important habit for me every single day is how I start my day. And there's actually a mindset that I have on how I start my day personally and how I start my day professionally. So personally, if I can get to my weight room at my school and I get there early,

between five and 5.30 in the morning and I can get a lift in or a workout in, that's time for me to deep think. It's time for me to get the physical work I'm trying to get in. But it's also a way for me to start my day. And I find that my aura, my vibe, everything is on point if I hit that mark. When I don't hit that mark, I find that I get into a series of...

I don't want to call it anxiety or panic, but it seems like I'm running ragged when I don't do that. So I've seen my body shift to healthier version, but I've also seen that bleed into my leadership role. So after I do that, I go home, shower, try to see my wife and kids before work if possible. But then when I get to work, when I sit in this office, in this chair, I refuse to do something that's going to start my day without joy. So I refuse to check email.

I refuse to look at my Google calendar. And what I do intentionally, even if it's just for five minutes, is I write. Writing for me over the last few years has been a way for me to really sort of reclaim my mentality and what I'm trying to do, how I lead, how I am as a person, how I am with relationships in our buildings, how I am as a dad, as a husband, as a friend.

that has really, I was always a good writer, but being intentional about it and chunking every day, even if it's for five minutes, it's the first thing I do every single day at this desk. And then after I finished writing, I'll find somebody to connect with, somebody to talk to. I've found that when I was a young leader that I would.

Dan Stecken (23:51.182)

knock out emails. That's the first thing I got to do. got a list of emails and a list of Google Calendar things I got to get to. And I was I write about this I was I was patient inbox zero, I had to have zero unread emails, I had to have it all done. Because I didn't I felt like I was letting people down, you know, I was how can I serve everybody if I'm not actually listening and serving. So I start my day with joy and now I chunk times for emails.

Darrin Peppard (24:07.406)

Yeah, I've been there.

Dan Stecken (24:19.739)

And one thing that I'm still trying to grow and get better as a leader is doing those emails outside of this office. I'm very blessed that as a superintendent my office is in our high school and I can walk down and see kids and see staff anytime I want. But what I've found in five years of doing this is that it's very easy to get buried in this desk and get stuck behind here. there's always the works the work and it's got to be done.

But there's no reason with my laptop or my phone, I can't go do that in our commons, in the main office, in between classes. So I chunk time now to attack those emails. And then with those emails, I've got a rule. If it's something I can do in under two minutes, I'll do it. And if it's not, I'll pivot, delegate, or schedule it down the road.

it's very easy to fall victim to the email fires and somebody else then controls my day. So I talk about that in the book and I talked about it in my keynote at our retreat recently in June and you know as I looked at the 36 other leaders that I was talking to, everybody's nodding along just like you were smiling. Yep, then there, done that and it's so hard to break that habit. It's taken me years to do those things. It's not like I just started on

Darrin Peppard (25:28.851)

yeah.

Dan Stecken (25:38.21)

know, August 15th, first day of school and said, okay, today I'm starting my day with joy. It takes time and it's taken me a couple of years to get to master those habits. Just like my physical health. It's kind of like I talked about earlier, Darren, my, my physical health has bled over into my leadership work. And, and it's, I've really seen so much growth because of that, that physical 5 a.m. morning, starting my day with joy. it's not rocket science, but it's got to become a habit.

Darrin Peppard (25:44.002)

Yeah.

Darrin Peppard (26:08.866)

Yeah, for sure. Well, and you know, mean, the man I could chase the email thing big time. It was was something that became the more the more I could delegate, the more I could schedule time for it, the more I started to feel a little bit liberated from that. But something else that that's from the book that I want to make sure we get to and then I want to ask you about, you know, you you certainly talk about a handful of pieces in there. But you talk about how, you know,

that stressed leader needs community. I we know as leaders that it can be very lonely. You know, there are all kinds of catchphrases out there and cliches about it's lonely at the top. I know for me, especially as a superintendent, it was really important to have that community.

of others who are going through similar things. And like you, I was a superintendent during the pandemic. And so being able to lean into others, to get some advice, to commiserate, to just simply vent to, I mean, those types of things are important. talk a little bit about community. And I think that'll probably bring us a little bit into the retreat that you've talked about a little bit too.

Dan Stecken (27:27.727)

Yeah, and like I kind of said earlier, I had a couple good, you know, early in my superintendency, some colleagues that were really struggling, you know, and the job is isolating and it is lonely because who in my district knows what the superintendent does? Who can help me solve a crisis that is confidential, is, you know, I can't tell other people about.

If you isolate because you're doing so much work and you tell yourself, can't make that networking meeting because I got to get this done and this done. Yeah, you do got to get the work done. But what I've discovered kind of the hard way my first couple of years is that if I'm not building my network, who am I going to lean into? I mean, as a superintendent, a principal, as leaders, we think we have to have all the answers all the time.

And we think that we have to have all the answers for everybody else, but then also for ourself. And let's face it, when you're a superintendent, there's certain crisis you just haven't done yet. You haven't handled that. So building your network of somebody that you can confide in is important. And if you're finding yourself only confiding in your attorney, that's probably not the best relationship for you. So I used to be that guy. Yeah.

Darrin Peppard (28:31.085)

Right.

Darrin Peppard (28:40.974)

No, yeah Not to say that your attorney isn't important because they certainly are but yeah, you're right That's that's not the person you want as your only source of advice

Dan Stecken (28:52.953)

Yeah, but when you're trying to be the best superintendent and you're trying to prove to those seven board members that you know what you're doing, it's very easy to isolate and stay buried in this office behind this desk and not networking. as I kind of...

know, limped along my first couple years, I found that everybody in my job was going through the same things, going through the same problems. And let's face it, I started five years ago, this superintendency is harder today than it was five years ago. And so I've, I wanted to create something.

that was a good PD, but was also immersive, but that would also build a network. Because let me, let's face it, Brene Brown talks about vulnerability, right? It's a superpower. I always tell people that there's probably two superpowers that I have. Consistency is one of them and vulnerability is the other one. I used to be that guy that cared what everybody else thinks and I don't anymore. I really don't. And I've gotten so much better at it that...

I've lowered, I've taken that armor off, if you will, because most people are afraid to do that. And what I've learned in a couple years of running these retreats and even my book now is that a lot of people are giving me personally that feedback that, I needed this.

but they won't admit it publicly. Because it's hard. It's hard being vulnerable. It is a superpower. And a lot of people, especially a lot of male leaders, are unwilling to show that what they think is weakness. So I flip it. I said, it's not a weakness, it's a superpower.

Darrin Peppard (30:32.11)

Yeah. Well, but, but you're absolutely right. You know, and it, mean, some of it goes back to what, you know, I referenced, you know, Jimmy cost us a little while ago and you know, Hey, they need me, but also a big part of it. And you said it. Um, and, and I'm gonna, I'm gonna call you out for saying it, but proving to your board members that you can do the job. I think that's, that's such a struggle for so many leaders. I know I went through it, you know, I've got to prove that they made the right choice hiring me.

I've got to prove to my staff, I'm the right person for this job. I've got to prove to my community. I mean, on and on and on and on and on. And, you're absolutely right. And most leaders won't admit to it, but being vulnerable and being willing to say, yeah, I don't know everything or I don't have the answer to that is not weakness. It's just simply

you it's an opportunity to bring others in, right? I mean, you've mentioned your admin cabinet, you've mentioned, you know, your secretary, you've mentioned, you know, a lot of different people who help you be the best you can be, including those board members, right? But if we don't...

have that willingness to admit, yeah, I don't know at all, then, man, that's exactly what takes us down the path that you're trying to help people get away from. I think that's just so important. And I want to talk about the retreat now. And I'll lead in with this. When I was just leaving my superintendency, and I haven't been to your retreat yet, but I did have the opportunity to

to do a retreat with my good friend, Dr. Steve Wolf does a wild heart teacher. And what I discovered, and I know this is true of your retreat too. And so I'm really going somewhere with this, but what I discovered in going and spending a couple of days with others and being vulnerable and unpacking everything I was carrying around was

Darrin Peppard (32:50.862)

I wasn't alone in what I was going through. And I think I knew that, but I needed to see and hear and experience what others were dealing with and watch them unpack it and shed that just that layer of soot they were carrying around and that I was carrying around in order to kind of heal and move forward. So,

Again, I know there's so much of what you're doing that parallels what my buddy Steve does. Talk a little bit about, one, the formation of that retreat, and then two, maybe some takeaways that some of the people who have been to your retreat over the last couple of years have experienced.

Dan Stecken (33:43.258)

Yeah, well first thing you talked about validation. talked about, know I'm struggling. I might be afraid to admit it out loud. I'm sure there's other people out there struggling. And then...

witnessing their vulnerability and leaning into it, you were validated. Just like me as a rookie superintendent, I had a great mentor. The guy that I replaced, Jim, if there was a superintendent of the year award, he earned it. And so I'm following that guy's footsteps. And thankfully he was my boss. He mentored me, but I had this imposter syndrome my first couple of years where I was like, I got to prove to everyone here, everyone in the building, all my board members, the community, everyone.

that I'm the guy to lead this thing. And it's taken me a few years, but now I'm like, yeah, they know that. I've built up enough equity. They know who I am. They know how I lead. But there's always still that kind of doubt. There's always still that little bit of like, okay, wait, am I doing this right? So I talked a little bit about, and it's in my book, a couple guys that, you know, when your colleague receives death threats,

as a superintendent because of something that he's trying to do for the betterment of students. It's hard, know, especially when you're a husband, a dad, and you start, you start, you know, transforming, putting yourself in that guy's shoes. How would I handle this? I mean, that grips you that that that kind of triggers you and makes you step back and say, wait, what I see a lot of leaders right now saying, is this job really worth all of this stress?

Is it really worth what I'm going through right now? That's what I wanted to solve. That it is worth it because you have the unique opportunity to lead a district full of kids and adults to do something special that from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m., most of their day,

Dan Stecken (35:40.686)

you're leading and have the opportunity to make that thing something special. And that's what we try to do in Seneca with what we call the Seneca Way. But as I discovered in our retreat, it's not just educators either.

I wanted to do something that was cross dimensional, if you will, cross categorical. It's healthcare leaders. You my wife's a nursing manager. She manages a hundred other nurses and CNAs and secretaries and clerks. She's stressed. She brings home so much from work and she's, you know, I'll probably get the name wrong, but it's the Greek pushing that rock up the mountain, you know. That's my wife and she cares so much about patient care and how that

hospital operates. I've seen it. I've lived with it for 25 years with her. It's the entrepreneur. I have many friends that were educators that are now founders of their own company. They're struggling. It's the small business owner. It's everybody. And at the root of it is everybody's trying to serve everyone. We're all trying to do the same things. So I created this retreat as an opportunity to

Listen to powerful keynote speakers. I kind of laughed this year that I was one of six keynote speakers and as I was I was in the retreat thinking man I'm the worst speaker of these six here the other five were amazing but then I got that feedback from the people that my my eight real problems pain points for leaders that that was something that they were all struggling through and that was something they were going to impact it or excuse me apply

in their practice when they went back to work. You always go to PD and you get a couple nuggets and you're like, yeah, that's a good idea. I can make that happen here. I wanted something different. wanted something that's like, yep, that's something I can start right now and I will carry beyond this PD, beyond this retreat. And then the setting that we have it in, it's just, Illinois is not exactly a...

Dan Stecken (37:43.822)

a landscape that most people get excited to visit, right? They might think of the city of Chicago, but otherwise you probably think of corn. And Starved Rock, where we hold this event at, is actually beautiful rock formation carved by the Illinois River. So it's a picturesque setting that offers a lot of opportunities at what used to be an old brick factory that was converted into a boutique camping, they call it, these high-end tents. It's just a special place, and there's a vibe out there that's really

Amazing because it's Starved Rock is beautiful. So you add the setting you add the keynotes you add the activities We do a little hiking we do some some cold plunge therapy that shocks your system and it's all interconnected and and All of the keynotes and events actually are our pieces from my book Stress leaders because the whole purpose of me doing this

was just to support other leaders. I kind of joked with my CSBO recently and said, I'm really nervous about five years from now what principals and superintendents look like, because there's a lot of people out there that are drowning, that are dying on the vine and just saying, it's not worth it. I'm getting out of this and I'm going back to the classroom or I'm going to do my own consulting thing. And that's great. We need those pieces too, but.

I look at it and for me, this is something that I believe in that's kind of a passion project that I used to say, well, this is just something on the side that I do. But at the same time, I find myself

getting that great feedback. I posted some things on Twitter and LinkedIn. I've got people I've never met picking my book up and saying, hey, I got your book and read this on my flight to Mexico. And wow, what a great reset that I needed to start the school year. Or I had a nurse manager that I didn't know reach out to me on Twitter in a private message and say, I needed this book more than you know. And it helped reframe how I serve the people that I need to serve. And when you get those kinds of feedbacks,

Dan Stecken (39:48.398)

there and that's, that's, yep, it was worth it. It was worth putting the time and energy into the book, retreat. And I can't wait to see where it goes. I've got some great opportunities to take the retreats to other locations. I'm really excited about that. We're looking at Colorado in the summer of 2026 with some networking I've done with some people out there. And then I've got an opportunity to take it out East New Jersey as well.

Darrin Peppard (39:49.826)

Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Dan Stecken (40:15.951)

But like anything else, you know, gotta walk for your run, but I'm excited to see where it goes.

Darrin Peppard (40:20.076)

Yeah. Yeah. Outstanding stuff, man. it's, I think it's, I think it's just so important and so necessary. And, you know, I've, I've, I've said it numerous times. I know you've heard me say it before that we are uniquely positioned to help the person that we once were. And you're trying to help exactly that, that person who you were that overwhelmed stress leader, not taking care of themselves. And man, you've really taken a lot of great steps in the right direction.

we're at that point in the show now. Absolutely, man, just nothing, nothing but respect for that. We're at that point in the time, or that point in time in the show now, where I'm gonna ask you the same question I ask everybody here on the show. It's the Leaning Into Leadership podcast. So Dan, how are you leaning into leadership right now?

Dan Stecken (41:07.695)

Yeah, the most important thing that's my North Star, my compass, what I'm leaning into is remembering why I do this.

and connecting more with kids. This morning before your podcast, had our high school volleyball team was doing their summer camp stuff. And so I popped into the gym and goofed around with a couple kids in volleyball while I was doing an inspection of our gym and just hitting the volleyball around remembering why did I get into this 22 years ago? It was all about kids. And what I'm leaning into it to become a better leader myself is, yep, my

Board of Education reports are paramount. They're super important. The leadership consulting that I'm doing with other people is important, but the reason I got into this was because of these kids that walk these halls. And so that's my focus, my North Star this year is getting out of this office, getting from behind this desk and interacting with our students. And I've really enjoyed the last couple of years getting better at it, but I'm going to be even better this next year with some of the groups that I work with inside of our high school.

Darrin Peppard (42:19.694)

Hey, you've mentioned a few times along the way as we've gone through this episode, Substack and Twitter and the book and all that kind of stuff. People are going to want to get in touch with you. They're going to want to grab a copy of the book. They're going to want to learn more about the stress leaders movement. What are some of the best ways for them to get in touch with you?

Dan Stecken (42:40.751)

Yeah, the easiest way is just to look up stress leaders. We've got a website, stressleaders.com. I've got a sub stack that I write on just about every single day. Like I said, I live it, I don't just say it. I write every single morning. And some of it's just quick little things. Others are great leadership practices. Some are about being a great dad. I'm all over LinkedIn, Dan Stechen, and I'm on...

Twitter as well, Dan Stackin, Superintendent Stackin. You can find me sharing all about the Seneca Way and fighting Irish stuff at our school district. those are some easy ways to connect with me.

Darrin Peppard (43:20.778)

Wonderful, man. I really appreciate the time. This was really a great conversation and something that genuinely is really important for leaders. And I know that they took a lot away from this. So thank you so much for joining me here on Leaning Into Leadership.

Dan Stecken (43:32.155)

Hey, thank you for having me Darren. It's always great talking to you.

All right, everybody. Awesome conversation with Dan Stechen. We've got the links down there in the show notes. Please go pick up a copy of his book. It is absolutely fantastic. I love what Dan has put together and I love that his heart really is about helping you and all leaders find that balance, that success, that ability to stay in the game. And now it's time for a pep talk today in the pep talk.

I want to talk about the fact that we are just days away or weeks away from your teachers coming back. I shared a blog post earlier in the weekend. And I think I opened with something like, it's just a few weeks away. And somebody immediately replied when I posted it and said a few weeks, heck, my teachers come back Monday. Folks have been working with the district in Virginia a lot this summer and their teachers come back on Monday.

Dr. Darrin Peppard (02:29.897)

It's pretty amazing and it's here. so if you're, especially if you're a new leader, but if you're in a leadership role, one of the things you should be doing right now to make sure that you have gained the necessary clarity to set yourself up for success in the coming year. Number one, I would say, don't just use generic terms like growth or improvement. Get specific. Really define what

does success look like for you in the coming year? Whatever it is, name it. Second, would tell you, identify two or three big focus areas. Don't try to do 50 things. If you try to do 50 things, you're gonna fail at 50 things. Two or three things. You can't chase 13 or 14 initiatives. So find those couple of things that you're gonna lock in on.

Those are the things that are going to drive your walkthroughs. Those are the things that are going to drive your PD. Those are the things that are going to drive your coaching and your leadership conversations. Get focused and stay on.

Clarify your expectations is the next piece. And I'll tell you this, you cannot over communicate your expectations. I know a lot of folks are like, well, do we, you know, should I say this twice or should I come back to this? The answer is yes. Over communicate your expectations. From arrival time to classroom environment, how we communicate with parents, greeting kids at the door, or whatever it is, your staff should not have to guess at what you expect. Be crystal clear.

and use multiple different methods. Email, printed guides, digital staff handbook, staff meeting walkthroughs. You model it. Make sure you model.

Dr. Darrin Peppard (04:20.407)

carry out those expectations. The fourth thing, whatever your team might look like, whether you have a team of 12, which one of my Nebraska districts has, or you have a team of three, whatever size your team might be, make sure you get them all aligned. Because the truth is, if your leadership team isn't in unison, there's no way your staff will be. So, you know, I tell teams all the time,

When you get a new person on your team, have a new team. So if over the course of this last few months, you've added somebody new, you've got to make sure that you get yourself in alignment. And even if your team isn't new, you still go back to the drawing board, get clear on those two or three focus areas, and make sure everybody's aligned to what it is that you want to do. And then lay out your first 30 days. Here are the things we're going to do. Put them on the calendar. This is when we're going to do walkthroughs. This is when...

We're gonna have these conversations. This is when we're going to roll out this particular piece. This is when we're gonna have this type of professional development, whatever it is, right? But the more proactive you are now, the less reactive you're gonna be later on. So the first 30 days, get them scripted for yourself. Get them drafted out so that you know what that first month is gonna look like. Plan the messaging you're gonna send out. Put intentional time on your calendar to be present, to be visible, to be supportive in the classrooms.

Folks, the reality is clarity isn't a one time event. Clarity is something that is a daily commitment. And I challenge you to really focus on that. And ultimately, if you're ready to bring this clarity and lead with greater intention with your team, whether it's around instruction or around team focus, then you know what? Reach out. Let's have a conversation. I want to work with your leadership team. I want to help you.

develop and utilize your own awesome framework to have an incredible leadership team and ultimately to have an incredible year. Well, that's what I got for you this week, folks. Thank you so much for joining me here on the Leading Into Leadership podcast. This was a blast. Again, I thank Dan Stechen for being a guest on the show. Get out there, folks, and have a road to awesome week.