Tough Days and Controlling the Things You Can Control

I'm Brian Martin, I'm a second grade teacher who find so much joy and fulfillment in what I do. Being in the classroom for almost 20 years, I know all about the time, effort and energy that you are continuously pouring into those you serve. That's why each week, I'm going to bring you an inspiring message to give you a little joy, and help fill your cup back up. Thank you for being here, and welcome to the teaching champions podcast. What's going on everybody, I hope this finds you striving and thriving and doing absolutely amazing. It was a solid week, my friends, we had a remote teaching day on Tuesday. And then we finished up the rest of the week in person. And there were some moments this week, where I just took a half sec, and mentally stepped back and appreciate the moment. And whether it was when, as a class we were all gathered around the carpet in one of my champions made a joke. And it was only a joke that a second grader would understand. And everyone started laughing, or was hearing another student go up to one of her friends and say, great job and gave him a high five. These were tiny moments. They were over in a blink of an eye. But they made me smile. And the week always has its fair share moments. Some are good. Others were happy when they're over. But it's important for our own state of minds. And it's important that we step back and appreciate those moments that bring a little smile to our face. In this time of year, it can be difficult. Up in my neck of the woods is a really chilly this week, you see a lot less daylight. And we're in that middle part of the where you don't always have that same jolt of energy that you did at the start of the school year, or that jolt that you get as the end of the year approaches. And there can be some tough days. And it's not always easy. When you pour your heart and you pour your soul into your students. And there are moments when the rewards are so unbelievable. When you see them shine, when that progress they're making becomes visible to them, and they start to light up. And you see that joy in their face. When you pour yourself into him. You can also get that flip side of it as well. There can be frustration, there can be hurt, there can be all these negative emotions that come with it as well when the students are having a rough day when they underachieve on something that you felt you taught so well, or when you see them giving up on themselves. These are tough things to swallow. And it's happened to me, it's happened to you. It's happened to that teacher that teaches next to you. And here are a few quick thoughts that I have on this. If you're having one of those tough days. First, always remind yourself that tomorrow isn't today. And this is a quote I heard this summer, and I've held on to it, because there are days that just weigh on you. And it's important to remind yourself that the sun will set tonight and is going to rise again tomorrow, and it will be a brand new day. Second, it's important that you keep your finger on your personal pulse. And if you're having a bad day, no one you need to hit that pause button and step away whether it's just for an evening or several evenings. Because you need that time to recuperate and you shouldn't feel guilty about it. And you're not a martyr you can love these champions. You can pour love into them. But you don't have to sacrifice yourself nor should you in the process. A third thing is stay true to the teacher that you want to be at the end of the day. If you know that you poured into them love that you've poured into them knowledge that you've poured into them resilience, grit, empathy, and more. In you know that you gave what you had that day, then be a piece with be proud of that. We always want things to click for our students right away. We want them to show grit, we want them to be motivated. We want them to push and push and push themselves. But it doesn't always work out like that. There are times when no matter how hard we try, our students might not display these attributes. You can't control that. There are different things that you can do that may influence some of the students decisions. But you can't lead your students lives for them. They have to make their own decisions, they have to make their own mistakes. And they have to choose to learn these lessons along the way. So if at the end of the day, if you poured everything that you wanted to, and to those around you, then you can look yourself in the mirror, and be proud of your day's work. Today, I want to dive into mental strength. It's something that I'm extremely passionate about, because it's something that I've struggled with is something that's cost me in every stage of my life. And because of all of that, I will learn as many tools and tricks to be more mentally strong, so that I can pass that along to my students. And honestly, the academics are obviously going to always be front and center. But teaching students tools, of how to deal with setbacks, of how to deal with frustrations, of how to deal with moments, where doubt creeps into them, is unbelievably important for their long term success. And recently, I have been reading a book called 13 things mentally strong kids do to think big, feel good, and act brave by Amy Moore. Now Miss Morin is the author of the international bestseller 13 Things Mentally strong people don't do. She's the host of the very well mind podcast, and she's a psychotherapist. And in this book, she goes through different traits that kids, but I'm going to expand this to everyone. That things that everyone should adapt to make themselves mentally strong. There's a famous quote by Mike Tyson, it says, everybody has a plan until they get punched in the face. And the cold hard truth is, life at times is going to come out swinging it all of us, and it's going to punch all of us in the face. It is its life. So the question is, what are we going to do to set ourselves up the best when those tough times come? And this book is all about that. It's written so that a middle school or high schooler could read it, but it's perfect for a parent to read with their child. And it's also something that educators and coaches should be reading and asking ourselves, How can we incorporate these lessons into our classroom. And there's a lot in this book. So over the course of several episodes, I'm gonna dive into some miss mourns teachings. And the one thing that I want to talk about today is Miss Morgan says that strong kids control the things that they can control in, has there ever been a situation that happened to you, and you put so much focus on the things that you can't control? Things that you have no bearing over, but neglected? The very thing that you have all the power over? I know I have, and probably too many times account in this is something that we should have conversations with our students about. We should model this for our students. We should talk with them about times when we were successful, when we focused on the things that we could control in those times, where we may have fallen short, where we put our focus on things that we had zero control over. And too often, we might throw up a slogan up on that wall, or we have a one time discussion about something. But what does that really do? If we value it, we have to put it into our daily activities. If we want our students to focus on controlling the things that they can control, then we need to make it a point to talk about that daily talking about it weekly to model and display that for them. In focusing on controlling the things they can control can help our students In their friendships, in test taking an extra curricular activities in so much more. You see, you can't always control whether people like you. But you can control how you treat others. You can't control how difficult a test is going to be, where you can control how well you prepare for. You can't control how well another team is going to play. But you can control the time, the effort, the energy that you put forth, and preparing for that game. And our students need to be reminded of this, an inner book, Miss Moore talks about the first step to controlling the things that you can control is to help our students recognize when they get stuck on something to recognize when they have intrusive thoughts, whether it be over tasks, over friendships, sports, etc. She says, After recognizing the you're having these thoughts, we can teach our champions, these three strategies to help them focus on controlling the controllables and help them escape that negative loop. The first strategy she calls, changing the channel, recognizing that the mind is being focused, and things outside of our control. She says, listen to music, or develop a mantra, a mantra that's going to fight back against negative self talk, to recognize that talk and replace it with personalized mantras. The students need to be taught that changing that channel can be difficult at times. So one way to do that to try and break free from this cycle is to take out a deck of cards and see if you can take out all the red cards in 30 seconds. Or you can say the alphabet backwards, write your name with your opposite hand, do something that moves your body read, organize something call a friend is all about trying to find a way to change that channel in your mind. And then this morning says that students need to recharge their batteries, they need to learn to read their own personal energy level and make sure that they're taking time to refill themselves back up. Like anything, it can't be talked about just once. If we want our students to focus on controlling the things that they can control, we have to talk about it on a consistent basis, we have to model it for them on a consistent basis. And we have to walk them through it on a consistent basis. Thank you for being here, for being part of the teaching champions community, we support, we encourage we lift each other up. And I'm excited to say that one of my goals for the new year is to add on to this podcast a little bit. So soon, I'm going to be adding some conversations with some pretty amazing people to the podcast rotation. I'm also going to be releasing many episodes on Wednesday that are just going to be a few minutes long. It's just a little midweek pick me up. So be on the lookout for that. give me feedback on what you think. Or let me know about things that have been resonating with you lately. I love hearing what you have to say. And if you think someone would benefit from this episode, please share this episode with them. The teaching champions community is all about lifting each other up. And always remember, it doesn't matter if you're from rural America, urban America, Canada, Spain or Bahrain. We're all on that same team. We're all on that same mission. And we're always better together. And my challenge for you this week is to think about things that you have control over. And you know, we can talk to our students about this all day long. But we need to ask ourselves, if we're focusing on the things that we have control over. So take some time. Think about how well your self talk has been. How's your nutrition Ben? How's your exercise routine? Ben? What are the voices that you've allowed to take space in your hat? How is your gratitude practice but take a look at these things. Think about small changes that you could do to shift your focus on the things that you have power over and then see if this affects your day. Keep meeting amazing, my friends. And as you go out into the week, May you step into your strength may you step into your shot Let's build our champions up Have a great week everybody