The Best Books for Teachers that Aren't About Teaching: Part 1 - Covey's Seven Habits

Hey, teacher trying. Today we're kicking off a three-part episode of books that have profoundly, profoundly impacted my teaching in a positive way. With the one-plot twist, none of the books are about teaching. We're going to start off with the granddaddy of them all Stephen Cubby's seven habits of highly effective people. Whether you know this book or not, there is going to be something in this episode for you because, as usual, we're going to look at it uniquely through the lens of educators. Let's do this. Welcome to the Balance, your Teacher Life podcast, where we talk all things avoiding educator burnout, setting healthy boundaries and achieving better work-life balance. If you're passionate about education but tired of it consuming your whole life, you have found your home in the podcast universe. I'm your host, grace Stevens, and let's get going with today's show, alright. So here's how this episode is going to go down. First, I'm going to talk about how this wonderful book came into my life, because I have thought about this, used these strategies and refer back to it so many times In the last I want to say 30 years almost, and part of me wondered if it was just that special, because it was my first introduction to really like what you would call a professional development book, but it has stood the test of time. So I'm going to tell you that story, then I will go through the seven habits briefly for those of you who do not know the book, and then I will pick what I feel is like the one habit we all need the most right now, and that is paradigm shifts in talk about how that really relates to education, how we can make changes in our classrooms, in our attitude, changes with parents, our relationships with co-workers, or the good stuff. Okay, so that's the roadmap. So let me tell you this I always consider myself a well read person. Now maybe let's back up a bit, gather around young and listen to the tales of old times, if you, I make no bones about letting people know I am 58 years old. So let's say that I grew up and started my professional career back in the days where, if you wanted to learn something or know something or be exposed to something new ideas you had to either read a book or go to a conference. That's it. There was no internet, obviously, which I know people always think in terms of Google. Oh well, there was no Google. You couldn't Google stuff. It wasn't so much that, it was just that you really had no exposure. No, you know how we scroll on social media or we look at YouTube and we see adverts and there are just so many new ideas and different things that we were exposed to, and if you turn back the clock you know 40, 50 years. It just wasn't that way. You got exposure to things only through people you met or if you read a book. Okay, and so I consider myself well read. Probably we're going to have to do a whole episode on this about. You know the validity of having an education, and a really good one that I had attended university in three different countries Speaking three different languages. So certainly I was bright, I was fluent in the three actually four languages, and I was very well read. To this day, I can still quote to you 17th century French literature. You know, I read Dante in the original Italian. You know all those things, but I'd never, ever been exposed to a non-fiction book. How is that possible? Well, I'd read a few text books on history and I also had a minor in European cinema. I had such a great passion for that book. I remember the book. It was called how to Read Film, and you know. So I'd read text books, but not a book that I would say was truly non-fiction, about new ideas or different things. And so how this came about, that Stephen Covey came into my life, is that I was about maybe four years into my corporate career a little less probably and I had got promoted to a branch manager position and I had got sent to our corporate headquarters. I worked for a very large international company, but I had got sent there for a whole week of professional development. We didn't call it back then, we called it manager training, to get Matt to get trained on how to sell, how to manage people, all the things. Okay, so I show up with my little you know, my little briefcase that we had back then and my you know my suit. I sit down, I'm waiting to learn all how to sell, and out comes this book. I would say there are maybe 20 of us in the room, pretty, pretty small group setting, and, okay, the book. And we dove right into one of the exercises, which was circles of influence, circles of control. Touch on that a little bit later and I remember thinking what the heck is this? What are we doing here? People are writing down what they're worried about, what they're thinking about. Remember one man Set. He was worried that he just planted a new law in his home in texas and was his wife and watering it and People were sharing their feelings. And you know I gotta tell you, as a girl from london who grew up in a household that you know really never discussed off things, how we felt about things, what we were worried about. This just want discussions that came up. We certainly I mean it just kind of felt like therapy to me, like why? People sitting around talking about the stuff I want to learn how to sell? So anyway, I was resistant at first, very kind of uncomfortable with the whole thing. But I have to tell you, as soon as I started reading the book which I did, of course, after the day of training and doing other things I read the book almost from front to back, cuz I'm a very good student. I was gonna know all the material by the next morning and my mind was blown. My mind was blown. It was the first time I really had this idea that I could have different thoughts and the thoughts I was having, that I there was. There was something about my life and the life that I was leading that it wasn't just happening to me, that I was contributing to it, I was helping create it by means of, you know, my, my actions. But really my actions were determined by my feelings, my thoughts, my fears, and that I had some kind of Control over them. So I had never been exposed to that idea, and so I feel like that is why one that book blew my mind. But two is absolutely 100% Stood the test of time and even though so many other spin offs of it and we're also used to now that self help department, professional development, human potential, whatever you wanna call it like I have been to them all. I have literally Red hundreds of these books, been to the seminars like. I am truly a nerd in this area. But no matter what, if you only had to read one book and you only had to live your life by seven principles, this is the one. That's how strongly I feel about it. Okay, so enough of me telling you why it rocked my world. Maybe you've read it, maybe you're gonna read it, and then you'll be like wait, this book didn't rock my world. Well, it has the potential to. So let me give you a quick overview of the seven habits. In some of them you absolutely recognize. Again, I read this book. I wanna say it was the late S, early nineties I think it really just come out not too long before that and so I read the book and then, being in the corporate world, you might not know that we used to carry around before we all had iPhones and you know digital resources and everything we carried around religiously off Franklin Plan. It was a leather bound book with inserts where we planned all week and also questions. And then steven cubby, his Kind of, made an alliance with Franklin, who really owned the market in personal planners, and so it became the Franklin cover Institute and you could take classes on how to use this planet was always my dream to go. I never went, but it was always my dream. But any good would carry this thing around. It was called a PRS personal resource system and would carry this thing around and just you know you, just your whole life was planned in and trying to follow these principles. So anyway, let's talk about the seven Principles, okay. So it has become very popular with leadership. So if you're school leader, for sure you've probably done something with a Franklin company Institute. If you haven't get on that, at least go read the book, but these are especially important skills for leadership and I should also say that the company Institute really expanded after. This is still their foundation work, but years after and Steven cubby wrote a book on seven habits of highly effective teams Teens he should have written one on teams that would have been good, but teens as in teen children and the seven habits of highly effective families. So he's branched out. But it's all really about principal centered living and especially principal centered leadership. And even if you're not a school administrator leader, we're all leaders in our classroom, in our communities and families in our home. So, alright, without further ado, the suspense has been killing you all if you do not know the seven habits. So the first one, habit number one, blue, my mind, really foundation of everything I teach and I believe and I want for my life is being proactive. Right Is the whole idea of focusing and acting what you can control and influence instead of worrying about all the stuff that you can't. Okay, that's the foundation of good mental health. Right Focus on what you can control, not what you can't. And really, if you're familiar with my own echo framework for teachers and I always give Steven Covey credit for this the C in my echo framework. The C part is control what you can control. The other part of the first habit is the idea of paradigm shifts is completely changing the way you look at something, and this whole idea is that two people can look at the same thing and see totally different things life changing. I'm going to do a whole episode on paradigm shifts. Honestly, I could do a whole podcast, not just a whole episode on paradigm shifts. But if you think that sounds nerdy, just think about the ultimate paradigm shift we've had in the last five to ten years. I want to say and that is in the area of growth, mindset, right, the whole idea that we're realizing intelligence isn't fixed and how a student thinks about their own intelligence and their own ability to learn hugely impacts their results. Okay, that's a paradigm shift that students make, but I'm going to do an episode on how it affects every area of our teaching. But so that was all part of habit number one. Habit number two Begin with the end in mind. So that's like define clear measures of success and a plan to achieve them. Now we know this with curriculum, with content standards. We back would, we do what we call backward mapping. Right, like what? Where do these students need to be at the end of the year? How are we going to get them there? Now, it is the foundation of. I know schools are pushing. You know this, especially if you do work with the PLC's professional learning communities. You are up to your eyes in hearing about smart goals, you know. And but really this is, begin with the end in mind. Have many schools have mission statements, vision statements. Businesses have mission statements, vision statements. You can have your own personal mission statement. For my teachings I refer to it as you teaching North Star, so there will be some episodes about that, no doubt, but it's all this same idea begin with the end in mind. Where do you want to go? And then backwards map from there. Okay, so that was habit number two. Okay, so habit number one be proactive. Habit number two Begin with the end in mind. Now I should, I want to put it right out there. These headings and these habits, they are, all you know, registered trademarks to Franklin Covey that I am not claiming that any of this has been. You know anything I invented. Okay, just want to put that right out there, clear. We're talking about this book and why it's wonderful, and these are the habits in it, so I did not come up with these habits. Now my interpretations of them, obviously, my. But. Habit number three put first things first. Right, what does that mean? It means prioritize and achieve your most important goals instead of reacting to urgencies. Right, it's the whole idea of the difference between urgent and important. Right, everybody else's agenda is, you know, making things urgent for you. Is it truly important? Now, that's where you'll begin with. The end in mind comes in Right. For me, the metric I use when I have to make conscious decisions about what I am not going to do. That's right. What's the people can teach you how to have a to-do list. A lot of my teaching revolves around the not to-do list. What are you just going to eliminate? I mean, in the business world it was eliminate and delegate. We don't have anyone to delegate to. Who are we going to give it? To the kids? I mean, there are things the students can do Some parents, yeah, but there's limited as far as confidentiality and things go. Right. So there are just things that we have to make intentional decisions. We are just, you know, not going to do or only assign a certain minimal amount of effort to them Right. And then our focus for deciding. That is always what I call you teaching North Star. Right, you have to define that for yourself and measure things up against. Is this going to support the vision that I have for myself and my class and my students, or is it not? Is it just busy work that somebody else needs, right? Ok, so, learning the difference put first things first. Learn the difference between what's important and what seems urgent, and I'm also going to throw in there the difference between productivity and busyness. Just because you're always doing something doesn't mean you're necessarily being productive. Discussion for another day. Ok, you with me, so far. Habit one be proactive. Habit two begin with the end in mind. Habit three put first things first. Habit four think, win, win. Now that phrase has just become part of our lexicon, right? Oh, think, win, win. That's not a new idea, no, it isn't. But probably the first person to articulate it so beautifully was Dr Covey. So Think, when we know what that means collaborate more effectively by building high-trust relationships. How can we move from a mindset of you win, I lose, or you win, I win, you lose? How can we be creative? I know we're gonna throw in all those buzzwords. Think outside the box, right. Find a way that everybody can get what they need. It's a really important skill. Let's just throw it back to education. Let's think about your staff meeting. Let's think about your team meetings. Let's think about an IEP meeting. How different would those outcomes be. How fewer I believe is the right word Lawsuits there would be. How much less stress if everybody went into an IEP meeting, right? An individual education plan meeting for students or a student success team meeting, thinking win, win, right. Well, how can we get what the student needs? How can we please a parent but still supporting a teacher's needs? How are you what? Why is it that everything that we do always adds onto a teacher's plate? It's no wonder that teachers get, you know, a stomach ache when they see their class roster and there are, you know, seven students on IEP's. And how on earth can we basically meet all of those needs? It just stresses us out, right, if we could think win-win just even in that situation. Okay, so, habit 4, think win-win, habit 5. Come on now. Seek first to be understood. Seek first to understand, then to be understood, right? Listen, that's what it means. Listen. Influence others by developing a deep understanding of their needs and perspectives, right, understanding where a person is coming from before you try and fix it, right? How many times when we're talking or somebody else is talking, we're kind of half turning them out because in our mind, we're busy, you know, formulating. How are we gonna rebuttal this? What are we gonna say about this? What about when I share my part, my feelings? Stop? Seek first to understand, then be understood. Right, that transforms your relationship with parents. Your ability to hear them out first, without being defensive absolutely transforms that relationship. Okay, so far, it's like a memory test, isn't it? What are the habits? Habit number one be proactive. Habit number two begin with the end in mind. Habit number three put first things first. Habit number four think win-win. Habit number five seek first to understand, then be understood. Habit number six synergize. What does that mean? Develop innovative solutions that leverage diversity and satisfy all key stakeholders. It's the idea that all of us, working together, create true synergy and we can achieve more than we could if we were doing our own thing. Right, that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. Right, maybe I could put it that way. Synergize capitalize on everybody's expertise to come up with innovative solutions. Right that that all win-win, but the idea that when we work together and bring the best of ourselves together, we can create something better than we could have come up with ourselves okay, I don't think there's anybody who would argue with that. You might argue with that in your own particular situation if, unfortunately, you work with a district where there isn't true collaboration. Right, this is talking about valuing collaboration over competition. What structures do you have in your school, in your district, in your classroom, that support synergizing, that support collaboration over competition? Think about that. That's a meaningful discussion that we should be having an education right now. Alright, the final habit, habit number seven sharpen the saw. What does that mean? That means making sure that you have authentic self-care, that you have work-life balance, that you make time for renewing activities. Now, the thing that I really remember about this, that really struck me at the time when I read the book, when I thought about it sharpen the saw. The example that was given in the book was at least you know, learn a one new skill a year, like keep sharpening your own saw, your saw. Don't get dull, don't just get complacent in what you're doing. Always try and increase your motivation and energy and, ultimately, work-life balance by learning new things, by being excited about new things. Now, for me that meant always. I guess I really didn't think too far outside the box. I was like, oh, let's learn a new language. I already had you know three that I wasn't using. I don't know why I thought adding another one to the repertoire would, you know, change my life? Maybe learn a musical instrument? I think, looking back, it would have been better for me to have, you know, learned some kind of athletic ability, athletic endeavour that I could have found passionate about. It took me until my 40s to find a bike and then, within five years four years maybe of ever riding my first bike, I rode a metric century, which is a 66.6 mile race, and I love that and cycling is still part of my life. It took me till 50s to find pickleball late 50s. Okay, well, that's a retired person thing, but you know, yoga, I dabbled with that in my childhood and off again. I mean you got to think a 12 year old doing yoga, like back in the 70s, that was weird, man. There wasn't, you know, there wasn't that acceptance around it that there is now. If I'd have kept up with that or decided to deepen that practice. There were just lots of other things that I could have learned that didn't need to be A, a language or B. You know I want all in on business for a while because I was a successful person in the corporate world. You know, the books I were reading were about sales strategies and those types of things, but it could be anything. Anything that keeps your interest, that just keeps you from getting dull, that increases just your motivation, your energy and, like I said, really for the point of this podcast, your work life balance. If you're all about the thing you do to earn a living, your life is out of balance. Okay, so there are the seven habits. Now they might seem simple, not to confuse, simple with easy right, but honestly, if you can focus on these seven, I really think that's all you need. Okay, so I'm going to run through them again, but this time I really want you to think. I mean obviously no one's asking you to do seven things at once, but as I run through them and just give you some suggestions and ask you to reflect honestly, ask yourself is this an area I can improve in? Is this an area that me being stagnant in is holding me back? And then that will be a nice, you know, focus point for you to decide where you want to sharpen your straw. There are so many resources available to us today. Oh my gosh, you can just go to YouTube and find anything People teaching you so much stuff, so many great books, resources, ted Talks I mean, my goodness, a TED Talk in 20 minutes or, you know, you can even go to, honestly, go to chat GPT and ask them to summarize a book for you If there's a book that you've always wanted to read and you just can't find the time. Gosh, I get that Right. During the school year, nothing happened other than school, you know. Go to chat GPT, give me a summary of such and such a book and then, when the summary comes, if there's something you're more interested in, you know, expand on that. These are easy prompts you can put into chat GPT to help you learn things. So I'm going to run through them again and just reflect. So the first one, number one be proactive, focus and act on what you can control Right, instead of you know all the other noise, all the stuff that isn't important, okay, and really focus on those paradigm shifts. I feel that's so important. Next week's episode is going to be just about that and about the idea of responding versus reacting Right, that's a whole idea of being proactive. Do you just react to everything that's happening to you Student interruptions, parent interruptions Do you just react to all that stuff or do you respond thoughtfully? Have you been proactive about having ideas, habits and strategies in place? Right? Are you even aware of the fact that you can choose how you respond to people and not just react? Okay, so that's the first habit. Habit number two begin with the end in mind. Do you have for yourself your teaching North Star? Do you have you figured out what's important to you, not what's your why? We all know you're there for the students, right. We're not here for the fame and the glory and the money. Lord knows that. We're here for the students. But within that, do you have a compass? Have you defined for yourself what you believe is important for students and for yourself in stewarding towards the end result that we want? Habit number three put first things first. Do you have a system for prioritizing? There's no way we can do everything. There's just no way we need to make intentional decisions about that. Is that an area that you need more help exploring? Habit number four think win, win. Do you have a collaborative mindset? Is that something that you feel maybe your team is lacking? That is holding you back? What resources can you and your team find work on? How can you go about creating a better framework for thinking win win. Habit number five seek first to be under to understand, then to be understood when you interact with others. Is this an area you're lacking? Do you really take a pause and really engage in active listening to figure out where people are coming from, before you try and shoot in with what you're thinking? You know what you want, what you feel is the right answer these areas. Is this an area that you could improve to have better relationships? Habit number six synergize. Do you feel really that within the framework of your classroom, within the framework of your teams, that you have this real feeling of interdependence? Right, the concept that we do things together and that our talents and abilities combined create something greater? Is that an area that you would like to focus on? Or? Habit number seven sharpen the saw. I'm going to suggest that all of you could do better at this or you won't be listening to this podcast, right? Where can you invest in authentic self care in creating better balance around your work, learning to separate your work from your worth, right? I had the whole podcast episode on that that your worth is not your work and vice versa, okay, so do you need to find ways to increase your motivation and energy and your work-life balance? Okay, so that's it for this week. I thank you so much for listening. I do spoiler on it, but next week we are going to take a deep dive into just the part of the framework that is being proactive, because I believe there is one paradigm shift I can give you and if you just make this one shift, it will improve everything for you. So I hope to see you next week.