Let Them and Let Me Theory by Mel Robbins: coursework, comparison, and setbacks in teacher prep

0:02 Hello Edu Magicians, welcome to the Edu Magic podcast with your host, Doctor Sam Fesich. Doctor Sam is a professor of education, author of Edu Magic, and a Pumpkin Spice Latte fan. This podcast is designed for pre service teachers. Remember friends, teaching doesn't begin at graduation, but during that first class at 8:00 AM. Let's get this party started. This podcast is a proud member of the Teach Better Podcast Network, Better Today, Better Tomorrow and the podcast to get you there. Explore more podcasts at www.teachbetterpodcastnetwork.com That let's get on to the episode.

0:46 To magicians and welcome back to another episode of the Edge of Magic podcast. My name is Doctor Sam Fasich and today's episode is inspired by Mel Robbins book Let them. It's something I'm reading and listening to and I am absolutely loving it. But I'd like to take this concept of let them let me into the context of pre service teachers from coursework to student teaching. Because let's be honest, have you ever studied were hours and someone else didn't study for a test and they did better than you? Have you ever failed and struggled in class and wondered should I even be a teacher? Am I really going to be good at this?

1:27 Or have you ever felt unincluded or excluded from your cohort? Everyone's getting together and grab and go and want to study at the library or going to go to the Cafe or whatever, and they didn't know about you. If you said yes to any of these, then listen in on this episode and definitely check out the book Let Them by Mel Robbins. It's an audio book on Spotify. You can also find it at your local library or wherever you purchase books. So today we're going to talk about how to stop spiraling with frustration and comparison and shift our mindset to help you grow and learn. So here's the idea. The first part, it's two-part theory one. The first part is let them, meaning allowing people to do what they're going to do.

2:17 You cannot control what other people do, feel, think or say. What can you control? You can control your reaction. That's the second part, to let me take your responsibility for the next step, something you can control. This could look like studying. This could look like reaching out. This could look like asking questions. It's all about learning and growing instead of being frustrated and upset. So let's take the first example. That student didn't even study for the test and I crammed for it and I studied every night and they did better than me. I used flash cards that use my notes, that use my practice quizzes.

3:06 I made a Kahoot. I did a Quizlet. I practiced so hard for this test and this student who didn't even study did better than me. So here's where the shift happens. Here's the let them let me strategy with that scenario. Let them not study. Let them get the grade that they earned. Let me focus on my understanding. Maybe try different study strategies if flash cards aren't working for you or highlighting your notes. Maybe go to a student success center and see if there's other ways you can study, other ways that might be more effective. Perhaps mind maps or concept maps.

3:47 And remember, this one's really important. Learning is not about the grades. Learning sometimes isn't reflected in that A or that B. Sometimes learning is reflected in AC. You did your best and you learned so much and you got to see. And that's OK because you learned a lot from that experience. Remember, the result on that quiz or that assignment does not define you as a teacher. This is 1 little blip in the radar of assessment. Or maybe you're in the group. Where? All right, here's another scenario. What about when you study really hard? You did the best you could and you failed. You failed a quiz, you failed a test, you failed an essay. Whatever it was, you put in the time, you thought you did well and you didn't.

4:46 So let them. Here's the let them part. Let the grade be what it is and let others pass. And it's OK that others did well. It's OK that others passed this assignment. But you or let me go to office hours. Let me ask questions to my professor. Let me see what I misunderstood. Let me see what I did well on the test. Let me change up how I study. Let me visit a counseling center or student success center to get more study strategies. So remember, you can still fail an assignment, a test, you can even fail a class friends. And that's not going to stop you from being an incredible teacher. To be honest.

5:26 You got to struggle a little bit. So you know the process and maybe this is meant for you to be a learning opportunity to know what it means to struggle to work through something. All right, next scenario, raise your hand. Maybe not raise your hand, but have you ever been in a group project where you're the one carrying the weight? We all know how that goes. We've all been in that group project, right? One or two people carry the load. Everybody else just does whatever. They don't show up to meetings, they don't do the work, they don't follow through. Super frustrating. Let them. Let your group members choose their level of effort. Let you clearly communicate to the group members expectations. Clearly communicate quality of work, what you're looking for, what you want to earn on this assignment, how people can get there, and how you can earn that as a group. Practice professionalism and maybe even practice professional communication with the professor if it gets, if it gets to that point, if you have people are just not tuning in and not helping out, communicate with your professor in a professional way.

6:30 Next up, how many of you have maybe compared yourself to others in your cohort? Maybe you are always comparing yourself to someone who has everything super organized or everything put together or their assignments in even early. Or they have everything color-coded and beautifully laid out. Their notes look stunning and they have graphic organizers for everything. They are so confident when they answer questions and they participate. They pretty much have it all together. You're surprised why they don't have their own classroom yet. Here's their let them, let them shine bright, let them grow, let them experience college and classes in their own way and let me or let you grow at your own pace. Ask those questions, start where you are and move forward because you are still learning and growing. All right, so let's move away from coursework and classwork. We're moving into field experiences. Here's a big one.

7:29 My cooperating teacher or my mentor teacher does things differently where you think I would never do it that way. Why are they doing it this way? Let them teach the way they have. Let them teach their style. Let them teach true to themselves. Let you or let me observe, see what's going on. Take what works, ditch what doesn't. Build your teaching identity. Let them teach the way they want to teach. Let you teach, observe. Take what you like, take what works for you, and make your own teacher identity. Here's another one for field work and student teaching. You get feedback and it's not feeling great. So you might be thinking, oh man, I feel terrible. Am I even going to be a teacher?

8:17 Why did I get this feedback? They don't like me. How could they? So let them give honest, directive feedback. That could be your supervisor, that could be your teaching mentor. That could be your cooperating teacher. Let you pause and take a breath before you react. Deep breath in and out. Think about what they're saying. It's not a personal attack. It's something that's going to help you learn to reach your goals, to be an even better educator. That feedback is meant in that space. It's not a personal thing. It's not that they don't like you. It's something that they want to help you grow in.

8:58 So take a beat. Take a minute. Reflect on that now. What can you take from that feedback to help you as a teacher? Feedback is about practicing. And as a student teacher or field student, you're still practicing, teaching and it's OK to get feedback. That may seem harsh, but remember there is some truth in that. It's corrective and it's meant to help support you and to be honest. So if you're listening right now and you're thinking, I can really relate to the one about struggling in a class, or I can really relate to the I failed something or I don't feel good enough when compared to my cohort or compared to my colleagues, I want you to hear something. You are not failing.

9:49 You're learning from this experience. You're learning from that course. You're learning what works and what doesn't for you. When it comes to studying and engaging in class work, you're not alone. Everybody has felt that way in one place or another. So you're not alone in feeling this, but you can take your power back like Mel shares. He talks about. Feel your feelings. Ride that emotional way. Should say about 90 seconds to a minute. Feel your feelings, ride them out. Now think so when you're feeling frustrated, upset, you're comparing yourself, you're feeling not good enough, or you're falling behind, or you're feeling something, feel it. Take a breath, take a beat and reflect. What do I let them do?

10:40 What do I do next? And then you do it. Then you do it. So friends, I just want to share with you. This book has really helped me rethink a lot of frustration, anxiety, and things that are out of my control because I don't want to waste my time and energy on things that are out of my control. I'd rather put my energy in the things that I can control. So I hope that you're feeling the same way and definitely check out the book Let Them by Mel Robbins. I think it's a fantastic read if you're just starting out college, if you're in course work, or if you're student teaching next semester, or maybe you're going to be a new teacher. It's a fantastic read.

11:20 It can really help support you wherever you are in your teaching journey and remember your job as a future teacher. When you are learning to be an educator, you are practicing. You are not perfect yet. Nobody expects you to be perfect, so keep on growing and glowing. And I hope you check out the reflection worksheet. I've put in the show notes for you regarding the Let Them theory. And again, huge shout out to Mel Robbins. This is such a wonderful book, an audio book. I actually have both. I purchased the book and the audio book. I am loving it. And Mel also has a fantastic podcast. So if you like podcasts about self improvement and helping yourself, go ahead and check it out. All right, friends, that's all I have for you today. I hope you think about the let them Let me theory through different aspects of your life, from coursework to college life to relationships with family, friends, sweet beats, whatever it might be to that new job that you might have. Let them and let me friends remember you have the edgy magic within you.

12:24 Bye for now. And there you have it, edgy magicians. If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and share it with your friends. For more Edu magic, check out S fessage.com and follow Doctor Sam on Twitter and Instagram at S fessage. Until next time, you have been Edu magic within you.