May 12, 2026

Let Them and Let Me Theory by Mel Robbins: coursework, comparison, and setbacks in teacher prep

Let Them and Let Me Theory by Mel Robbins: coursework, comparison, and setbacks in teacher prep
Let Them and Let Me Theory by Mel Robbins: coursework, comparison, and setbacks in teacher prep
EduMagic: Future Teacher Podcast
Let Them and Let Me Theory by Mel Robbins: coursework, comparison, and setbacks in teacher prep

What do you do when you studied hard, and someone else didn’t, but they did better than you? Or when you fail an exam, struggle in a class, or feel behind your cohort?

This episode is inspired by the book Let Them by Mel Robbins. This theory is applied to preservice teachers navigating coursework, studying, fieldwork, and student teaching.

This episode reminds future teachers that struggle is part of learning and that teaching begins long before graduation.

Show notes: https://www.sfecich.com/post/let-them-and-let-me-theory-coursework-comparison-and-setbacks-in-teacher-prep

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Hello Edu Magicians, welcome to
the Edu Magic podcast with your

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host, Doctor Sam Fesich.
Doctor Sam is a professor of

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education, author of Edu Magic,
and a Pumpkin Spice Latte fan.

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This podcast is designed for pre
service teachers.

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Remember friends, teaching
doesn't begin at graduation, but

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during that first class at 8:00
AM.

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Let's get this party started.
This podcast is a proud member

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of the Teach Better Podcast
Network, Better Today, Better

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Tomorrow and the podcast to get
you there.

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Explore more podcasts at
www.teachbetterpodcastnetwork.com

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That let's get on to the
episode.

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To magicians and welcome back to
another episode of the Edge of

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Magic podcast.
My name is Doctor Sam Fasich and

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today's episode is inspired by
Mel Robbins book Let them.

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It's something I'm reading and
listening to and I am absolutely

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loving it.
But I'd like to take this

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concept of let them let me into
the context of pre service

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teachers from coursework to
student teaching.

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Because let's be honest, have
you ever studied were hours and

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someone else didn't study for a
test and they did better than

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you?
Have you ever failed and

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struggled in class and wondered
should I even be a teacher?

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Am I really going to be good at
this?

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Or have you ever felt unincluded
or excluded from your cohort?

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Everyone's getting together and
grab and go and want to study at

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the library or going to go to
the Cafe or whatever, and they

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didn't know about you.
If you said yes to any of these,

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then listen in on this episode
and definitely check out the

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book Let Them by Mel Robbins.
It's an audio book on Spotify.

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You can also find it at your
local library or wherever you

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purchase books.
So today we're going to talk

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about how to stop spiraling with
frustration and comparison and

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shift our mindset to help you
grow and learn.

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So here's the idea.
The first part, it's two-part

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theory one.
The first part is let them,

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meaning allowing people to do
what they're going to do.

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You cannot control what other
people do, feel, think or say.

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What can you control?
You can control your reaction.

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That's the second part, to let
me take your responsibility for

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the next step, something you can
control.

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This could look like studying.
This could look like reaching

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out.
This could look like asking

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questions.
It's all about learning and

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growing instead of being
frustrated and upset.

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So let's take the first example.
That student didn't even study

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for the test and I crammed for
it and I studied every night and

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they did better than me.
I used flash cards that use my

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notes, that use my practice
quizzes.

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I made a Kahoot.
I did a Quizlet.

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I practiced so hard for this
test and this student who didn't

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even study did better than me.
So here's where the shift

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happens.
Here's the let them let me

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strategy with that scenario.
Let them not study.

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Let them get the grade that they
earned.

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Let me focus on my
understanding.

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Maybe try different study
strategies if flash cards aren't

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working for you or highlighting
your notes.

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Maybe go to a student success
center and see if there's other

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ways you can study, other ways
that might be more effective.

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Perhaps mind maps or concept
maps.

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And remember, this one's really
important.

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Learning is not about the
grades.

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Learning sometimes isn't
reflected in that A or that B.

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Sometimes learning is reflected
in AC.

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You did your best and you
learned so much and you got to

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see.
And that's OK because you

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learned a lot from that
experience.

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Remember, the result on that
quiz or that assignment does not

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define you as a teacher.
This is 1 little blip in the

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radar of assessment.
Or maybe you're in the group.

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Where?
All right, here's another

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scenario.
What about when you study really

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hard?
You did the best you could and

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you failed.
You failed a quiz, you failed a

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test, you failed an essay.
Whatever it was, you put in the

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time, you thought you did well
and you didn't.

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So let them.
Here's the let them part.

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Let the grade be what it is and
let others pass.

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And it's OK that others did
well.

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It's OK that others passed this
assignment.

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But you or let me go to office
hours.

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Let me ask questions to my
professor.

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Let me see what I misunderstood.
Let me see what I did well on

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the test.
Let me change up how I study.

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Let me visit a counseling center
or student success center to get

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more study strategies.
So remember, you can still fail

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an assignment, a test, you can
even fail a class friends.

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And that's not going to stop you
from being an incredible

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teacher.
To be honest.

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You got to struggle a little
bit.

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So you know the process and
maybe this is meant for you to

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be a learning opportunity to
know what it means to struggle

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to work through something.
All right, next scenario, raise

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your hand.
Maybe not raise your hand, but

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have you ever been in a group
project where you're the one

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carrying the weight?
We all know how that goes.

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We've all been in that group
project, right?

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One or two people carry the
load.

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Everybody else just does
whatever.

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They don't show up to meetings,
they don't do the work, they

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don't follow through.
Super frustrating.

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Let them.
Let your group members choose

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their level of effort.
Let you clearly communicate to

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the group members expectations.
Clearly communicate quality of

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work, what you're looking for,
what you want to earn on this

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assignment, how people can get
there, and how you can earn that

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as a group.
Practice professionalism and

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maybe even practice professional
communication with the professor

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if it gets, if it gets to that
point, if you have people are

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just not tuning in and not
helping out, communicate with

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your professor in a professional
way.

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Next up, how many of you have
maybe compared yourself to

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others in your cohort?
Maybe you are always comparing

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yourself to someone who has
everything super organized or

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everything put together or their
assignments in even early.

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Or they have everything
color-coded and beautifully laid

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out.
Their notes look stunning and

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they have graphic organizers for
everything.

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They are so confident when they
answer questions and they

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participate.
They pretty much have it all

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together.
You're surprised why they don't

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have their own classroom yet.
Here's their let them, let them

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shine bright, let them grow, let
them experience college and

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classes in their own way and let
me or let you grow at your own

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pace.
Ask those questions, start where

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you are and move forward because
you are still learning and

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growing.
All right, so let's move away

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from coursework and classwork.
We're moving into field

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experiences.
Here's a big one.

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My cooperating teacher or my
mentor teacher does things

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differently where you think I
would never do it that way.

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Why are they doing it this way?
Let them teach the way they

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have.
Let them teach their style.

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Let them teach true to
themselves.

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Let you or let me observe, see
what's going on.

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Take what works, ditch what
doesn't.

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Build your teaching identity.
Let them teach the way they want

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to teach.
Let you teach, observe.

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Take what you like, take what
works for you, and make your own

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teacher identity.
Here's another one for field

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work and student teaching.
You get feedback and it's not

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feeling great.
So you might be thinking, oh

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man, I feel terrible.
Am I even going to be a teacher?

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Why did I get this feedback?
They don't like me.

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How could they?
So let them give honest,

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directive feedback.
That could be your supervisor,

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that could be your teaching
mentor.

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That could be your cooperating
teacher.

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Let you pause and take a breath
before you react.

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Deep breath in and out.
Think about what they're saying.

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It's not a personal attack.
It's something that's going to

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help you learn to reach your
goals, to be an even better

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educator.
That feedback is meant in that

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space.
It's not a personal thing.

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It's not that they don't like
you.

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It's something that they want to
help you grow in.

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So take a beat.
Take a minute.

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Reflect on that now.
What can you take from that

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feedback to help you as a
teacher?

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Feedback is about practicing.
And as a student teacher or

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field student, you're still
practicing, teaching and it's OK

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to get feedback.
That may seem harsh, but

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remember there is some truth in
that.

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It's corrective and it's meant
to help support you and to be

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honest.
So if you're listening right now

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and you're thinking, I can
really relate to the one about

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struggling in a class, or I can
really relate to the I failed

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something or I don't feel good
enough when compared to my

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cohort or compared to my
colleagues, I want you to hear

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something.
You are not failing.

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You're learning from this
experience.

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You're learning from that
course.

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You're learning what works and
what doesn't for you.

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When it comes to studying and
engaging in class work, you're

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not alone.
Everybody has felt that way in

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one place or another.
So you're not alone in feeling

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this, but you can take your
power back like Mel shares.

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He talks about.
Feel your feelings.

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Ride that emotional way.
Should say about 90 seconds to a

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minute.
Feel your feelings, ride them

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out.
Now think so when you're feeling

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frustrated, upset, you're
comparing yourself, you're

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feeling not good enough, or
you're falling behind, or you're

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feeling something, feel it.
Take a breath, take a beat and

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reflect.
What do I let them do?

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What do I do next?
And then you do it.

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Then you do it.
So friends, I just want to share

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with you.
This book has really helped me

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rethink a lot of frustration,
anxiety, and things that are out

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of my control because I don't
want to waste my time and energy

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on things that are out of my
control.

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I'd rather put my energy in the
things that I can control.

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So I hope that you're feeling
the same way and definitely

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check out the book Let Them by
Mel Robbins.

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I think it's a fantastic read if
you're just starting out

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college, if you're in course
work, or if you're student

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teaching next semester, or maybe
you're going to be a new

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teacher.
It's a fantastic read.

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It can really help support you
wherever you are in your

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teaching journey and remember
your job as a future teacher.

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When you are learning to be an
educator, you are practicing.

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You are not perfect yet.
Nobody expects you to be

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perfect, so keep on growing and
glowing.

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And I hope you check out the
reflection worksheet.

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I've put in the show notes for
you regarding the Let Them

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theory.
And again, huge shout out to Mel

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Robbins.
This is such a wonderful book,

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an audio book.
I actually have both.

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I purchased the book and the
audio book.

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I am loving it.
And Mel also has a fantastic

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podcast.
So if you like podcasts about

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self improvement and helping
yourself, go ahead and check it

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out.
All right, friends, that's all I

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have for you today.
I hope you think about the let

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them Let me theory through
different aspects of your life,

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from coursework to college life
to relationships with family,

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friends, sweet beats, whatever
it might be to that new job that

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you might have.
Let them and let me friends

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remember you have the edgy magic
within you.

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Bye for now.
And there you have it, edgy

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magicians.
If you enjoyed this episode,

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please subscribe and share it
with your friends.

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For more Edu magic, check out S
fessage.com and follow Doctor

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Sam on Twitter and Instagram at
S fessage.

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00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:48,440
Until next time, you have been
Edu magic within you.