Episode 292: Why Not? A Leadership Mindset That Changes Everything

speaker-1 (00:00)

All right, my friends, welcome into the Leaning Into Leadership Podcast. My guests on the show today, really good friends of mine, Melissa and Bradley Skinner. Before we get to them, really quick, I want to thank our sponsor for today's episode. This episode is brought to you by Hey Tutor. HeyTutor partners with school districts across the country to provide high dosage tutoring in both mathematic English language arts.

Their comprehensive approach, including the process of recruiting, training, scheduling, and managing the tutors. Yes, that is right. Hey Tutor does the recruiting, the hiring, the managing, the training. So you, as a leadership team and your teachers, don't have to have that extra thing on your plate. But what they do is really allow educators to focus on what they do best while accelerating student learning. To learn more about Hey Tutor,

Go to heytutor.com or better yet, hit the link in the show notes. That'll let them know you heard about them here on the Leaning Into Leadership podcast. All right, let's dive into this conversation. Bradley, Melissa, thank guys so much for joining me at Leaning Into Leadership. Yeah, absolutely. So

speaker-0 (01:04)

It's our pleasure. Happy to be here.

speaker-1 (01:07)

just full full disclosure, folks, we we are sitting in our mutual friend Dr. Steve Wolf's house in Divide, Colorado. we are all here collectively for the Wild Heart Teacher Retreat.

And just had some had some time and thought, man, this would be an awesome opportunity to sit down and talk. Bradley and Melissa have man, they've had some interesting things, awesome things happening in their life. And I just thought, hey, you know, let's sit down and have a conversation. But just really fast, the absolute cliff note version. Melissa, I'll go to you first, just so our listeners and our folks on YouTube know who we are. Talk a little bit about Melissa.

speaker-2 (01:41)

educator, I teach fourth grade and I have learn I actually education was my second degree in life. I actually did business and theater prior to that and then I need a change and I said hey let's go get another degree and get a masters in elementary education. So I am teaching for the last ten years and I always say I'm teaching with a good degree now. I was teaching beforehand probably without a degree in education. But that's what I do right now and I also work in our theater department as the assistant drama

coach mostly focused on state events. So that's what we're doing.

speaker-1 (02:12)

Yeah, love

it. Bradley.

speaker-0 (02:15)

25 years in education, teaching theater primarily as well as English, emphasis in American literature, and recently just left the classroom and now I am traveling with the Savannah Bananas and the Texas Tailgators baseball teams as their plaza DJ.

speaker-1 (02:33)

Which which

I think is absolutely incredible. And I definitely want to talk about that today. There's a there are a ton of leadership lessons in what you guys have been transitioning through with you now leaving the classroom and and doing the work with the Savannah Bananas and the Texas tailgators. I know you're also doing some speaking on the side as well. so plenty of things happening in in the Skinner world. And let let's let's go right at the Savannah Bananas piece. So

Those who who have followed you, those who've known you, I mean I've known you for, I don't even know, fifteen years somewhere in that neighborhood. know that you've been a DJ for a while. Know that you, you know, the persona of DJ Phony Stark and that kind of stuff. And and you know, from from an iPod to where you are now, right? Inside joke folks, if you if you know, you know.

speaker-2 (03:19)

But

speaker-1 (03:19)

Obviously, I I don't necessarily want to go all the way back to like, hey, why why DJ? But but how do you how do you go from your DJ Phony Stark business is a very successful business. Why the Savannah Bananas? How did that happen?

speaker-0 (03:31)

the the funny part is we always say it started with a selfie. In twenty twenty four, Melissa and I took a group of students at the start of the school year, just before the the first day of school, the Savannah Bananas and the Party Animals were playing a game in Salt Lake City, Utah.

So we thought, what a great way to kick off the school year. Let's take some some kids, go to a game and just kind of celebrate and then head into the school year. And while we were there, the students were taking photos with the players out on the plaza, and I wanted a selfie with a DJ. So I went and took a picture with DJ JC and then we connected on socials and just stayed in touch. And then during the school year, we ran what did we call Interviews Day, which you were familiar with.

with we did in Rock Springs and we just would always interview people in specific areas of of the industry. And so with this being in my theater class, we wanted to show the students that there's more to entertainment

Than just being an actor on stage. There's thousands of job opportunities that they could be a part of, one of them even being a DJ for a baseball team. So we interviewed DJ JC. He was talking to my students about what he does and how he got into the business and what it's like working with the bananas and banana ball. And it was just a great conversation. It really opened up, you know, eyes to my students, but to myself as well.

And at the end of that conversation, is he said, Would you have any more questions? And Tori, one of my students, raises her hand and says, Yeah, what would it take to get you to come DJ a dance here in Wyoming? and he's like, I don't know, let's talk to your teacher, let's figure it out.

And so we did. We decided we'd hold a fundraiser to help some students with summer workshops and travel so they could go to specific events where they were learning more about theater. So we thought this would be a great opportunity. We could have a dance for the community. JC could come in and DJ it, and that would be a great fundraising opportunity. So we got him there, and it was a great response from the community, a lot of fun.

And then after that he he messaged me and said, Hey, we're gonna be adding more teams to banana ball. You should apply. So I interviewed and had sent in demo reel and had an opportunity to to then kind of my final audition was at Coors Field in Denver and got to to play with the bananas and the firefighters, which this week I'm heading to Wrigley Field for the Bananas and the Firefighters again, so it's gonna be a a lot of fun.

speaker-1 (05:44)

you think about those moments the those real simple things, right? A selfie. you know, Melissa, you talked last night when I listened to the two of you speak about like your students' dots and and I'll ask you more about that in a minute. But the impact that the little moment

can have and the the the ripple effect. You go and take a selfie with with a DJ and now you're a DJ with with the bananas and just just that ripple effect. And I think as educators we know this, but sometimes we don't stop and and think about those those little moments and the impacts they can have. So Melissa maybe maybe talk a bit about the dots and Okay. Tell so you don't have to tell the whole story you told last night or you can if you want to.

Okay.

speaker-2 (06:25)

So

I will when I started teaching, I started doing a project with the story called The Dot. And it's a story about a child who doesn't want to paint a picture when the teacher says, just make a dot, and then the dot the teacher says, sign it. So and it's just what is the difference you'll make in your world by the things you do, just how it goes. By the end the story, we read it in the class and then we make a dot at the beginning of the school year. And then I t take those dots after I have everyone signed their dot and I put actually on like an ESOL because

I can't really keep them on the wall if I move classrooms. So I put them on an ESO, and they get to see their dot all year long, and then they might come back. Well, I moved classrooms last year, third to fourth grade, and I took all the dots off the wall. I was on a very big ESL at the time, and I had to move them to smaller Easels, and then I didn't put them up in my new classroom. And about three-fourths of the year through, a student said, Where's my dot, Mrs. Skinner? And I was like, they're they're over here, and then I put them up one weekend, and the kids

just were so excited to see their dots again. And they were just, it was exciting. They're like, there's my dot, and there's my dot. And then some of my former students came back to visit and they're like, where's my dot? And so they also look for their dots. So it's something that I love that activity. I get to have a portion of them with me even after they moved on. And when they come back then they get to see their dot just makes them part of my life because they're just in my heart. So I love it. And so we're gonna get ready to do dots on the first or second day of school is every year and I'm excited. So

speaker-1 (07:43)

And I'm sure you probably at this point, students coming into your class know about the dot and probably can't wait to do their dot.

speaker-2 (07:50)

I think they are 'cause now that they've understood they're excited. I had actually three new students because since I transferred from third to fourth, a lot of those students came with me to the next classroom. And so I had new students and once those dots went up, they're like, I don't have a dot, Mrs. Skinner. And so this year I made sure those students who were new to us in our fourth grade level, and it's just not my classroom, it's the whole grade level now that we put the dots up and so and I'm a and if a student moves away, I hope they come back and I can grab them a dot before they move away again. 'Cause you know

students move away and sometimes they come back. So we try to make sure I get their dot. Even if they move into my classroom halfway through the year, I try to do even the first day they're there. Hey, I need to make this dot.

speaker-1 (08:28)

Right. Absolutely.

Yes. Yeah. I love that. Yeah. So again, I mean staying with with those those little moments or those little things and the impact they can have. you guys obviously I follow both of you on social media and and folks if you don't follow both of them you should. but I was saying before we hit record that

Bradley, you had shared an interview you were part of recently, and you talked about this philosophy that you and Melissa have have adopted as as a married couple, by the way, probably my favorite married couple on the planet. Thank you.

speaker-2 (08:57)

Mm-hmm.

speaker-1 (08:57)

And

I I'm not even gonna I'm not even gonna talk about what it is. I'm just gonna set it up with it's a big change in how you guys view the world and obviously the ripple effects of you guys making this transition to this different philosophy, this different perspective is making a difference for you guys. So I'll let you talk about what that perspective is and kinda some of the ripple effects.

speaker-0 (09:18)

Well for the last couple years, as you've mentioned, I've been doing educational speaking and when I speak to high school students and assemblies, a big portion of that is growth mindset and you know that that grit and determination and getting through the difficult times. And so one of those elements that I talked about but realized we weren't fully embracing, even though I was telling people to do the very thing, which is we've kind of embraced it now, is why not?

It's just that that philosophy of why not? And when this opportunity to work with the bananas came up, we realized it was not possible to have one foot in education and one foot in in banana land. And it kinda took us back to another quote from from a friend of ours, John Paul Gonzalez, of going all in.

And if we were going to make this successful to see where being a DJ for the Savannah Bananas could go and what opportunities that could open up as well as just the joy that I have in doing it, we had to go all in. And in making that decision, we just said, Why not? let's live a life of asking or saying why not, rather than later on looking back with regret and asking what if.

And that's really where it came from.

speaker-2 (10:26)

kinda like to think about when banana ball came into our lives it was like teachers we definitely have second jobs. It's not it's not a secret. People know when teachers have second, sometimes third jobs. And so when this opportunity came, I think in our in our head, maybe more my head, I thought, this will just be something fun for Brad to do in the summer once in a while in a weekend. And when it became a well not a what if, what if it is a why not? Actually you got invited to go to this game to go, okay, let's make this happen. Because what if you didn't

what if you didn't go and then you're questioning and regretting it. But I said, why not? Just go and then you can have fun and then you're like, I didn't regret not having that opportunity. And so that was a big thing that I think and we started talking about it this year more and more about

Well, why not do this? Why not try this instead? Or instead of, you know, what if I made a garden in this little the corner of my house in the in the yard? Well why not just do it? 'Cause if you fail, then okay, at least you knew before it was gone and had that opportunity. So that's kinda why we started to change how we even ask questions to each other and even like not just like even our lives of what we're gonna do every day, but even some of the other things we say, Well why not? Let's

gonna miss those opportunities in more you know

speaker-0 (11:33)

Let's take the

top off the Jeep and go for a drive Garden of the Gods.

speaker-2 (11:38)

You know, why not?

You know, why not? 'Cause and don't think the thing is, well what if it rains? Well what if it rains? Who cares? But at least you did the the took the opportunity and then you made a memory and making memories is what's gonna last longer than the non things that you can buy and purchase in life. It's just the and that's a lot of things too, is these memories we're making and the relationships we're building with all of the people. I mean, yes, Brad works with a lot of these individuals and actually has gotten to know them really well and I get those opportunities.

every once in a while to go too and starting to build those relationships and I mean to even remember my name is something that I'm just like wow you know it's just a cool thing not you're the DJ's wife. We joke about that too. Just DJ you're just the DJ's wife. I'm not just the DJ's wife but type of a DJ.

speaker-0 (12:19)

Yeah. That's

been really special. I think it also helped lead us towards making that decision is when we saw the leadership that exists at Fans First Entertainment, the the culture and the climate of the teams, to have Melissa come back, you know, to a game you know, she went to you know won in Anaheim and couple months later we go to another game and then but to have players on the team, you know, see her and

be able to approach her and say, Hey Melissa, it's good to see you again. You know, having that recognition where they know her and they know that she matters to me. So if she matters to me and they matter to me, that they want to make that connection as well. And that's just like that that that made it where I'm like, wow, I really am in somewhere I'm someplace special. You know, that

team, the players, the staff, they genuinely care about people, not just the fans, the people they work with, the the people that they are in different departments. You know, they just care and that really helped to make that decision I think a lot easier.

speaker-1 (13:17)

I think I think that's huge. And you know we had this conversation last night, but it wasn't just about jumping out to take this other job. This was you found something that not only spoke to your heart, but spoke to you at your core, both of you. And I I have to say this too before I let it get away and then I'll come back.

the why not philosophy, listening to you guys talk about you seeing a couple of clips. I am in a way surprised that you didn't adopt that earlier because to me

speaker-2 (13:45)

Right.

speaker-1 (13:45)

because I mean again, I've known you for a long time, both of you. And why not was your philosophy in the classroom when we worked together at at Rock Springs High. I mean, I remember you specifically several times coming to me and saying, Hey, I'm gonna try something.

I'm gonna try something and it makes stink, but can you come in and like just give me a little feedback? Yeah. And that was always a why not? Let's interviews day. You just mentioned interviews day. That was a why not? Why not try?

speaker-0 (14:10)

absolutely.

speaker-2 (14:12)

I don't even think like I think that exact same thing, like how we've been doing that for such a long time in our relationship and just in anything we've worked at and I don't think we ever thought of it as a coining of a phrase until

speaker-0 (14:22)

We lived it, we

just didn't put it.

speaker-2 (14:24)

It didn't click.

It's kind of like when we started our the DJ business, Brad. I mean a little bit back of I mean, did we have friends who asked us to DJ weddings just for the music? Absolutely. And then Brad took the opportunity and had one and then he did it by himself. And then I went with him one time and I probably said, Why are you doing this on your own? Let's what can we do this better? And so how we do that, I mean, we're still running this business on even being gone and everything with Brad on traveling the road, we're still running a business, we're still having weddings, we have a great

Team of people we work with and we said why not do something different and add an MC and we've done and that's what makes us different and we've been I said why not why don't I join you? Like it wasn't just him and we decided let's make this work but I don't know why we never coined it until in the last four months, five months or something, it just clicked.

speaker-1 (15:10)

It's it's

very fitting for the two of you. It really truly is. It's what what I've seen in you guys for a long time. I wanna I wanna come back to kind of that culture piece that you were talking about with with the bananas and and really, I mean, it starts with Jesse Cole at the top. you and I couples well, not this summer, but we're wrapping up the previous, did a presentation at Joson's Renaissance and we talked about the eleven rules of

of banana ball culture. kind of replicated that that presentation last night, which Melissa did a way much way better job than I did. I know that. without digging into all eleven, and you can tell us tell us why there's eleven.

speaker-2 (15:44)

Ten is ten is

boring.

speaker-1 (15:47)

There you

go. Jesse Cole. Yeah, love it. And if you haven't read Jesse Cole's book, my gosh, it's so good. I I don't know if I told you, but before we did that presentation, I actually I got the audible and listened to it over like two days just so I was prepared for for what we did. But anyway, there are these eleven

principles of culture in in banana ball without going into all eleven. Maybe each of you pick your favorite. and talk about how not only that resonates with you, but then also maybe, I don't know, maybe connect that to leadership. It doesn't have to be education. It can be, but I don't know. It's I don't think it's a big ask. You know, give give me one each.

speaker-2 (16:24)

say make sure I have my number right so I'm pulling it up for myself right now. but I want to say I think mine is number six if I remember right if that's okay number six is and I want to pull it make sure I have it we have see you know world of technology you can just pull up things but I want to say it was nope that's not it was in six that's not that's constantly curious. Yeah

speaker-0 (16:43)

That's great one too.

speaker-2 (16:45)

mine was about the accountability so I have to find maybe that is the one

You go with yours for a second, while I figure my not. Maybe it's six.

speaker-0 (16:54)

So for me it's number eleven. always plus the experience. And that's something that being able to work with a young professor who is the on field announcer and host for the Savannah Bananas and obviously coming f obviously from Jesse Cole as well.

But being able to work with the two of of them and seeing that constant reminder to everybody, whether you are a player, you're the mananas or the beefy boys or any of the the dance teams or you're in tickets or every organization, every department is finding ways to plus the experience for the fans. Jesse often reminds us it's somebody's first game. So what are we doing? We know it's gonna be special simply because they're there. They're having fun watching the

banana ball game. But beyond that, what are you doing to make it a better interaction form? How do we go to the farthest ends of the stadium? The people that are so far away from home plate that they think they aren't going to have an experience of connecting with somebody on the team or somebody in entertainment. how do we reach them? And what do we do to make their experience special?

And that constant reminder keeps in the forefront of your minds that you're always able to do something. we we often think, well, well who am I? I'm just, you know, or I'm just the DJ. Okay, well, did I find somebody that had posted, you know, something about their favorite song? And I know they're gonna be at the game and they're out in the crowd, so I can play that song. And I may not know where they are, but I know they're hearing it. And

That's my favorite song. You know, just little moments like that that can be, you know, created. but connections, you know, where are those contact points that we can meet people and talk to and just say hi. little things like that can make a huge difference in going from a good day to a great day.

speaker-2 (18:36)

Okay, so while I like like six, I do like number ten. And ten was uphold the highest standard. and I relate it more to the teaching world. Is that how we need to keep our expectations high? I related it to in our talk we last night about the non-negotiables in the classroom. Simple as when you write a sentence, it starts with a capital letter and ends with punctuation. That's a non-negotiable. We all know that's that's how a sentence is rewritten, and so

keeping that standard of just simple, that's still not correct. You need to take that paper and fix it. And so I'm like but at the same time you want that high expectation because it's also gonna show to a child, whether it be kindergarten or twelfth grade or even into college, it's gonna help them know that you expect that they can do it and they need to find that greater greater good in themselves. I loved how we said it last night we said I love you I said we I'm gonna quote it right

You fail. And that's a big thing is we love our s love our students, no matter if we have a bad day. I always say we start over the day and we have the best day ever. but

We love them and we want the best for them because we also don't know sometimes after they leave our classroom. We hope we would know where they go, but we want to make sure we got them ready. We have them ready for the next thing in their life. And so and I think that's my biggest part is that high expectation. I want them to be successful and believe in themselves. So I see that. And things can be hard, but they can do it. And I promise we can put capital letters and punctuation. I promise we can.

speaker-1 (19:58)

I'm

I am one who will do that. I will not let you down. So guys our our our time has really flown by really quick. So I want to get to the last question I ask everybody here on the Leaning Into Leadership Podcast. and then you guys can I'll have you guys share how people can get in touch with you and get connected with you. But it's the Leaning Into Leadership Podcast. So Melissa Bradley, how are you leaning into leadership?

speaker-2 (20:19)

so I'm part of a leadership team in my school and we always come up with different ideas and different things we can do within the school because some it gets boring when you do the same thing over and over again. And so I want to make sure that I go in with that positive attitude and that we all will listen to each other and not deny another person's ideas and say, let's let's see how this can work before we actually say no and work on that, don't just jump to no. Start to say, let's think about this and how can we work and brainstorm before we shut somebody down. And I want to not just take that in the leadership but let's also remember that in the classroom.

because sometimes what we think will work, even a kid in the classroom may have a different idea and maybe take that twist and go, ooh, give me a minute and let me think about how I could fix this. Because it there's an opportunity for me to learn too. So

speaker-0 (21:00)

Absolutely. I I will say one of the unexpected benefits from yeah, I knew going in to Banana Ball I was gonna be DJing, I was gonna be playing music, I was gonna be rocking the crowd. I didn't know just how much I would be learning about leadership, but you cannot be around Jesse Cole and not absorb some of those leadership lessons. And I think what I'm really just taking away is to find those opportunities.

To look at at things differently. Look for friction points and figure out how to eliminate them. Look for the way that you can improve every experience. If you're doing something good, how do you make it better? If you're doing something better, there's still a way to even improve on that. And it's that constant pursuit, but in a way that doesn't feel constantly pressured. And that's something that has been amazing.

to to know that the standard is there, that the expectation that I need to be at the best of my game, but yet I'm not feeling the weight and the pressure of it that if I mess up, that I have failed or that I'm, you know, not as good. I know that when I mess up, that

the team behind me is like, all right, that one didn't work. How do we help fix it? What could you do differently? What could we do differently to make it a smoother transition? And it's such a positive that and I have, I've messed up. I've I've made mistakes. and but at the same time it's okay, cool, we made a mistake, but what do we learn from it? The lesson is far more important than the detriment of the mistake itself. And being able to work in that environment is awesome. So when I I know someday I'm gonna return to education.

And when I do, how can I replicate that? How can I promote that from my teachers? To be like, hey, I'm here to help you that when we make mistakes, it's it's not the end all of things. It's a simple opportunity to learn. And I think just too often in this world we view failure as the opposite of success rather than viewing it as an essential part of success. And that's what I think I want to do as a leader is just to help facilitate that.

speaker-1 (22:55)

That so much. really quick. people are if they're not already following you, they're gonna want to follow both of you. So, how do they find you?

speaker-0 (23:01)

For me on all social media at at Bradley W. Skinner. That's Bradley with two E's, L-E-E. So at Bradley W. Skinner and at DJ Phoney Stark on all social media platforms.

speaker-2 (23:12)

He was brilliant about making sure everything was the same. I was not. on Facebook it's Ms. Melissa Skinner. And then on Instagram it's at Incredible Skinner, because you know, I had to throw some Disney in there somewhere with some incredibles. And then at TikTok it's Mrs. Mama Skinner. And that's a nickname that I got I got granted from students because they always called me Mama Skinner. And so we felt that it was important to maybe tie that in there. So

speaker-1 (23:37)

I love it

so much. It's awesome. Guys, I really appreciate you sitting down with me and recording this episode. You bet. this is this has been a lot of fun. Thanks for joining me on Wayne Into Leadership. Thanks.

speaker-2 (23:46)

Thank you.

speaker-1 (23:48)

All right, folks. Awesome

speaker-0 (23:47)

Thanks for having us.

speaker-1 (23:49)

conversation with Melissa and Bradley. Absolutely had a blast with them. make sure you get down in the show notes and get connected with both of them. Now it's time for a pep talk. So I just want to go right back to the philosophy that Bradley and Melissa have adopted. And

challenge you to think about leaning into that why not philosophy. So often we we stop ourselves from doing things that could turn out amazing and could also turn out poorly by saying, well but what if? We think of all the negative situations, the negative possible outcomes that could come. But when you lean into why not

You're taking on the opportunity. You're saying, hey, why not? Let's see what happens. Let's see where this goes. I think it's an incredibly powerful view. I think it's an incredibly powerful way to live your life. For me, I'm gonna lean into why not? Thanks so much for joining me here on the Leaning Into Leadership Podcast. As always, rate, review, and subscribe, share with anybody else who might enjoy.