Episode 302: The Work Nobody Sees - A Thank You to School Principals

Darrin Peppard (00:00)

I remember driving to the top of a mountain one day when I was a high school principal. I don't remember every detail of what happened that week. I don't remember every conversation or every decision that led me there, but I vividly remember driving up that mountain because I needed somewhere I could scream. And that is exactly what I did. I screamed at the top of my lungs because at that particular moment.

It was the only place I felt I could safely let everything out. Now, before you start worrying about me, understand something. I absolutely loved being a principal. To this day, I still identify as a recovering high school principal. I loved my staff. I loved my students. I loved my community. Even though it was a really tough community.

Loved my community. And I loved being part of something bigger than myself. But there were things that I was carrying at times. Things that I couldn't share. Decisions I was wrestling with, responsibilities that didn't disappear when the school day would end. And on that particular day, I needed somewhere to simply let it all.

Here's what I suspect. If you've ever been a principal, you probably have your own version of that mountain. Maybe it's your car on the drive home. Maybe it's an early morning workout. Maybe it's sitting alone in your office after everybody else has gone home. Check, check, check for me. All three of those also relevant.

You know exactly what I'm talking about. That's what I'm getting at. And folks, if you've never been a principal, today I want to take you behind the scenes of a job that I believe is one of the most important leadership positions in our country. Because October is National Principles Month. And I want to talk about something that doesn't get nearly enough attention the work that nobody sees.

Welcome into episode 302 of the Leaning Into Leadership Podcast. I'm your host, Dr. Darren Peppard. And today, this one is personal. But before we dive in to today's episode, I have some very exciting news. We have a new partner joining the Leaning Into Leadership community, and this one is particularly special to me. I am thrilled to welcome Curriculum Leadership Institute, or CLI.

As our newest sponsor. Now, here's why I'm so excited about this partnership. I've actually worked with CLI twice during my own career as a school and district leader. The first time was when I was a principal and CLI worked with our district. Then, when I became a superintendent, I brought them in again to support our work around curriculum alignment, curriculum cycle planning, and standard alignment. Think about that for a moment.

I had the opportunity to experience their work firsthand. And when I had the chance to make that decision as a superintendent, I chose to work with them again. Why? Because I believe in what they do. CLI understands that effective curriculum development isn't about handing a district a binder and wishing them good luck. It's about building relationships, creating sustainable systems, and providing teachers with the clarity they need to do their very

Best work. They bring the processes, the expertise, but they also work alongside your team to develop a system that's specific to your district. And then they stick around to help make sure that it's working. I've recommended CLI to school and district leaders for years, and now I'm incredibly proud to welcome them into the leading into leadership community. And they've got something special for our listeners.

If you are a new district partnering with CLI, they will honor a 5% discount on your first year of service when you mention that you heard about them right here on the Leaning Into Leadership Podcast. Visit CLIWeb.org or email info at CLIWeb.org to learn more. Welcome aboard, Curriculum Leadership Institute. I'm genuinely excited to have you as a part of our community. And of course,

We're also grateful for the continued support of our friends at Hey Tutor. Heytutor partners with schools and districts to provide high-impact in-person tutoring in literacy and math, giving students targeted academic support alongside the important work already happening in their classrooms. Whether you're looking to strengthen literacy, support math achievement, or provide additional learning opportunities for your students, Heytutor is ready to partner with your school or district.

Visit Heytutor.com to learn more, or even better yet, hit the link down there in the show notes, folks. That lets them, my friends at Hey Tutor, know that you heard about them here on the Leaning Into Leadership podcast. Now, let's talk about the work that nobody sees. I want you to imagine something with me. Every morning when a principal walks into their school, they're carrying an invisible backpack.

And throughout the day, people keep putting things into this backpack. A teacher stops by your office because they're dealing with something difficult at home. They're not asking you to solve the problem. They just need someone to listen. Into the backpack it goes. You have a conversation with a parent who's frustrated about something happening at school. Maybe their frustration is justified. Maybe it isn't.

Either way, they're counting on you to listen, understand, and respond. Another thing in the backpack. Then there's the conversation with your superintendent or someone at the district office. There's a new expectation, a difficult decision, or a direction you might not entirely agree with. You have to figure out how to navigate that situation while continuing to support your school. Into the backpack.

A student is struggling. An assistant principal needs your guidance. A teacher needs feedback. Something happens in the building that requires your immediate attention. And here's the thing: it's not even lunchtime yet. Now I don't share this to suggest that principals are somehow the only people carrying significant responsibilities. Teachers, superintendents, and leaders in every profession carry their own challenges.

But there's something unique about the principalship. You're often the person everybody else comes to when they need something. During my years as a principal, I led a staff of nearly 200 people. I worked hard to build relationships with those individuals because I genuinely believed that relationships were the foundation of everything we were trying to accomplish. And those relationships came with a lot of trust. I knew things about people's lives that

Others did not know. I knew when someone was struggling personally. I knew when there were professional frustrations that really needed my attention. And sometimes I knew things that honestly I wished I didn't know. And it wasn't because I didn't care, quite the opposite. When you care deeply about people, their challenges, they matter to you. And sometimes the most difficult part of leadership is knowing something and not.

Being in a position to fix it? Or knowing something and not being able to talk about it? That is the invisible backpack that I'm talking about. And here's the question I want you to think about. Who helps the person everybody else comes to for help? If you're a principal listening right now, I want you to think about that question. Who are your people? Who can you turn to when the backpack gets

Extremely heavy. I had days when I buried things deep, days when I tried to sweat about at the gym, and obviously at least one day when I needed to go up on the mountain. But I've also come to recognize something through my years as a superintendent and now as a leadership coach. Even the people who support everybody else need support. You need trusted colleagues.

You need people who will listen without immediately trying to solve everything. You need people who will challenge your thinking and help you see situations from a different perspective. And you need to know that asking for support does not make you any less of a leader. In fact, I would argue it makes you a better one. Because you can't continue creating the conditions for other people to do their best work if you never create those conditions.

For yourself. Now, I want to talk about three things that happen in schools every single day. Three examples of leadership that rarely receive recognition. And I'm willing to bet that every principal listening has experienced all three. First, there's the conversation nobody hears. Think about the number of conversations you have as a principal during a typical school day.

Some of them are quick, some of them are fun, and some are opportunities to celebrate people and the great things that are happening in your school. But then there are the difficult conversations. A conversation with a teacher who's really struggling professionally. The conversation with a staff member who's experiencing something personally devastating. The conversation where

You have to hold someone accountable because you believe they're capable of so much more. Those conversations require preparation. They require empathy. They require courage. And sometimes they require you to say things that you know the other person does not want to hear. Here's what I've learned.

Some of the most important leadership conversations you'll ever have are conversations nobody else will know happened. You might spend hours preparing for a conversation that lasts 15 minutes. And that conversation might change someone's entire professional trajectory. But nobody is going to stand up at the next faculty meeting and applaud you for it.

And that's okay because the purpose of those conversations is not recognition. It's growth. It's support. It's accountability. It's helping people become the very best versions of themselves.

Second, the decision nobody understands. this one. If you've been a principal for any length of time, you know exactly where I'm going here. Sometimes you have to make a decision that's not going to be popular. And sometimes, no matter how much you'd like to explain your reasoning, you simply can't. Maybe it's a personnel situation.

Maybe it's something involving a student or a family. Maybe you're navigating expectations from your district while trying to do what's best for your school. You know there's information that you just simply cannot share. And that means there may be people who disagree with your decision without ever knowing anything that went into making that decision. And that is difficult.

Especially when you've worked hard to build relationships and establish trust. Unfortunately, leadership isn't always about making every decision popular. It's about making decisions that align with your values, your responsibilities, and your commitment to the people you serve. And sometimes you have to be comfortable knowing that not everybody is going to understand. And let me add something here.

That doesn't mean we get to hide behind confidentiality or use it as an excuse to avoid accountability. We still have a responsibility to communicate what we can, explain our decision-making process whenever it's appropriate, and treat people with dignity and respect. But there are going to be times when you simply cannot share everything. And that's another part of the work nobody sees. The third.

There's the moment nobody remembers. Now, this one might be my favorite of the three. Think about how many interactions you have during a school day. You're walking down the hallway and you stop in to simply check on a teacher. You notice a student who's having a bit of a tough morning, and so you take a couple minutes to talk with them. You send a quick message to someone on your leadership team because you notice something that they really did well.

You might not think much about any of those moments. By lunchtime, you may have actually completely forgotten that they happened. But here's what I want you to remember. The other person might not forget. The teacher that might have been questioning whether they were truly making a difference. They'll remember. That student might have desperately just needed someone to notice them that morning. They'll remember.

The assistant principal might have needed the confidence that came from knowing that you believed in them and that you saw them be successful. We talk a lot about instructional leadership. We talk a lot about operational leadership. We talk about strategic planning. We talk about school improvement. And man, do those things matter. But sometimes the most important leadership you provide happens in a two minute conversation that

Never even shows up on your calendar. That's why I'm such a believer in intentional leadership. You've heard me say it before: leadership is the intentional creation of conditions where other people can do their best work. And sometimes those conditions are created through moments that seem incredibly small to us, but mean everything to someone else.

Now, at this point, if you've never been a principal, you might be asking yourself a pretty reasonable question. Darren, why in the world would anybody want this job? You've talked about carrying other people's challenges, making difficult decisions, having uncomfortable conversations, and driving up a mountain to scream. Hey, that sounds fantastic, right? All right, let me tell you why.

People would want this job. It's all about the people. Without question, it's all about the people. When I think back on my years as a principal, I don't immediately think about operational challenges. I don't think about the difficult personnel decisions or the endless number of things that competed for my attention. I think about the relationships. I think about the incredible adults that I had the privilege of working alongside.

I think about all the students who were a part of that incredible school community. I think about the feeling of being part of a school community where we were all working towards something bigger than any one of us. And don't misunderstand me, we did not always agree. And I damn sure did not get everything right. There were disagreements, there were challenges, there were days when.

I probably frustrated the hell out of people just as much as they frustrated me. But we were all in it together. And that collective purpose really mattered. And one of the things I love most today is that I still hear from people I worked with during those years. Former staff members, former students. Sometimes there's a specific reason that they reach out, but more often than not, it's something that's just completely random.

A memory, something funny that happened, a situation that reminds one of us of the other. Sometimes they reach out to me, but sometimes I reach out to them. Every time it happens, I'm reminded of something. The relationships we build as leaders don't necessarily end when we leave the position. Think about that for a moment. There are people who were part of my life during those years who are still part of my life today.

And that means far more to me than any particular accomplishment or recognition that came my way during my time in that building. I truly don't remember every problem we solved, but I do remember the people that I had the privilege of solving those problems with. And here's something I want every principal that's listening to understand. You may never know the full impact you're having on the people you lead.

That teacher that you encouraged today might remember your words 10 years from now. A student you took two minutes to check on might carry that moment into adulthood. The assistant principal you're mentoring might someday become an incredible principal because you believed in them before they believed in themselves. And you still might never know that. That's one of the extraordinary things about leadership. We are planting seeds.

without always knowing when, where, or even whether we'll get to see them grow. Being a principal was an absolute honor. I never took that responsibility lightly. I really hope the people that I had the privilege of leading, the people in the community for whom I had the privilege of leading, knew that about me.

As we celebrate National Principles Month, I want to offer two challenges. The first is for everyone who works with, supports, or has been impacted by a school principal. Teachers, system principals, superintendents, district leaders, parents, community members, former students. I want you to think about a principal who has made a difference in your life. Maybe it's someone you're working with right now. Maybe it's someone you worked with years ago.

And I want you to tell them, but here's the important part. I want you to be specific. Don't just simply say, hey, thanks for everything you do. Tell them about a specific conversation, you remember. Or tell them about a time they supported you when you really needed it. You were really struggling and they were there. Tell them about a decision they made that helped you grow, even if you didn't really appreciate it at the time.

Tell them about how their leadership truly made a difference. Because here's what I know. They probably have no idea that you remember that. And your message might arrive on a day when they really need to hear it. On a day when they're ready to drive to the top of the mountain. Now, if you're a superintendent listening to this episode, I have an additional challenge for you. When was the last time you sat down with one of your

principals?

And asked how they were doing. Not how the school improvement plan was progressing, not whether they'd completed their evaluations, not whether they had everything ready for the next board meeting. How are you doing? And then when they answer, just genuinely listen. Our principal spends so much time supporting everybody else. And we have an we have a responsibility to make sure they have people supporting them too. Now my second challenge.

That's specifically for you, principles. Find your people. I know how easy it is to get caught up in the daily demands of this job. I know how quickly the operational work can consume your calendar and how difficult it can be to find time for yourself. But you need people you can trust, people who will listen, people who will challenge you, people who understand the responsibility that you are carrying. Now that might be another principle.

Might be a mentor, it might be a trusted colleague, or maybe a leadership coach, somebody like myself. Whoever it is, don't convince yourself that you have to carry everything alone. And while you're at it, give yourself permission to celebrate the difference that you're making. And not just because of big accomplishments. Celebrate a teacher who's growing because you've been supporting them. Celebrate a student who found success because someone in your building believed in.

Celebrate the relationships you're building and the culture that you're creating because those things matter. And sometimes when you're caught up in everything happening around you, you forget to recognize what's happening because of you.

Now I want to take you back to that mountain for just a moment. I've thought about that day many times over the years. And we're talking that was at least 10, 12 years ago.

And while I certainly wouldn't wish every challenge of principalship on anybody, here's what I do know. I wouldn't trade my years as a principal.

Not every day was easy. And again, I certainly didn't get everything right. And yeah, there were days I didn't need to drive up on the mountain and scream. I wouldn't trade those years though, because of the people, because of the relationships, and because of the opportunity to be part of something bigger than myself.

The privilege of creating conditions where teachers could do their best work and students could experience success. Man, being their principal genuinely was an honor. To every principal listening today, I hope you recognize the incredible privilege of the position that you're in. I hope you recognize that the work you're doing matters even when nobody else sees it. To the principal carrying a difficult decision that nobody knows about, thank you.

To the principal quietly supporting a staff member through a personal challenge, thank you. To the principal who has the uncomfortable conversation because they believe someone is capable of more, thank you. And to the principal who puts aside their own frustrations to walk into the next classroom meeting or conversation fully present for the people who need them, thank you. I see you. I've sat in your chair. I've supported people sitting in your chair.

And today I have the privilege of coaching school leaders who continually remind me just how much this work matters. So during National Principles Month, I hope somebody takes the time to recognize you. But more importantly, I hope you recognize yourself because some of the work, the most important work that you will ever do as a principal is the work that nobody will ever know that you did. Happy National Principles Month.

And thank you for the work that nobody sees. Hey, that's what I've got for you this week, folks. Until next time, keep leaning into leadership, keep making a difference. And as always, get out there, have a road to awesome week.