Episode 72 | From Wilderness to Calling: How Faith and Neuroscience Help Women Renew Their Minds

1
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,240
Welcome to Lead with Hope, the
podcast where we explore the

2
00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:14,480
power of hope, leadership, and
resilience in today's world.

3
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:18,360
I'm Brandy Kelly, and each week
I will bring you stories,

4
00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:23,120
insights, and actionable advice
from leaders, innovators, and

5
00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:27,120
change makers who are using hope
as their compass to navigate

6
00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:31,640
challenges, create positive
impact, and inspire others to do

7
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,640
the same.
Whether you're a seasoned leader

8
00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:39,280
or just beginning your journey,
this podcast is here to remind

9
00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:43,800
you that no matter the obstacle,
hope is the fuel that can drive

10
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,960
transformation.
So, let's dive in and discover

11
00:00:48,160 --> 00:01:01,120
how you can lead with hope.
Hello, everyone, and welcome

12
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,040
back to the Lead with Hope
podcast.

13
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,600
I'm your host, Brandy Kelly, and
today I have a special guest on

14
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,680
the show, her name is Amy
Wadlington.

15
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:14,240
Amy spent over 15 years in
corporate America and in 2020,

16
00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:18,240
after being laid off, she felt
the Lord leading her in a new

17
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,440
direction to step into coaching.
And that season became a

18
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:26,120
defining moment in her life.
She combined her professional

19
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:29,560
experience with a passion for
helping women find clarity,

20
00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:34,080
peace and purpose through
faith-based life coaching.

21
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:38,920
So now she is helping women,
Christian women who feel stuck

22
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:44,240
or uncertain, renew their minds
and confidently step into their

23
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:47,480
God-given calling.
Welcome to the show, Amy.

24
00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,760
Thank you so much for having me,
Brandy.

25
00:01:49,760 --> 00:01:52,640
I appreciate it.
So Amy, one of my first

26
00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:57,400
questions when I start the show
is I asked my guest to tell

27
00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:59,560
their story.
We all have a story and I

28
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:04,760
believe our story, God can use
it to help people He brings into

29
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:07,320
our lives.
So share with us a little bit

30
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:12,960
more of your story.
Well, I have a lot of things

31
00:02:12,960 --> 00:02:14,760
that have happened over the
years.

32
00:02:14,760 --> 00:02:18,880
And, you know, I think that with
my defining story, it probably

33
00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,640
starts when my daughters were
very young.

34
00:02:21,920 --> 00:02:26,040
We had some traumatic things
that happened to our family.

35
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:31,080
And shortly after that their
father and I got divorced.

36
00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:37,800
And so it went from family time
to trauma to divorce to being a

37
00:02:37,800 --> 00:02:42,600
single mom instantly.
And just over these this two

38
00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:47,680
year period, it was this
traumaturist time where I didn't

39
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,600
know what to do.
I physically was ill because of

40
00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:55,440
the trauma that had happened.
I was brain fog.

41
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,920
I was exhausted.
I didn't know what to do.

42
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:02,760
And I just started to see God's
hand start to work in our lives.

43
00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:04,560
I wasn't going to church at the
time.

44
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,920
My ex-husband and I had gone to
a neighborhood church a couple

45
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,320
of times, but we weren't really
a part of the church.

46
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:15,720
And I just saw God starting to
work in our lives and bring us

47
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:21,760
out of this pit that we were in
and bring us into something

48
00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,240
amazing and beautiful.
And we started with just

49
00:03:25,240 --> 00:03:29,880
changing our lifestyle with
removing toxins from our home.

50
00:03:29,880 --> 00:03:32,800
I had a friend who introduced me
to essential oils.

51
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,600
And I just thought, you know,
maybe there was hope for us when

52
00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:40,720
I started to see some changes in
our lives and we started eating

53
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:45,320
healthy and things just started
to change for us.

54
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,680
And I was still struggling
financially.

55
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:51,680
There were still a lot of things
that were going on, but God

56
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:56,400
really put his hand on our lives
and drew us out of that time.

57
00:03:56,760 --> 00:04:01,720
And I went from barely being
able to pay rent to owning a

58
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:05,680
home and now having a small
business owning my home.

59
00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:10,280
And it's really just been a
beautiful story to see God work

60
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,880
in our lives from trauma to to
hope.

61
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:19,120
So with your, with your
coaching, I know that you work

62
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:23,120
with women who often say that
they feel stuck and they don't

63
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:26,520
know what to do.
They're, they're at a point in

64
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:29,560
their life where maybe that
trauma has just snowballed on

65
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:33,040
them over time and they're, they
don't know what to do.

66
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,760
How do you help them get unstuck
in your work?

67
00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,400
Well, there's a couple of things
that we do.

68
00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,640
And first of all, we start with
inviting the Holy Spirit in and

69
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:48,080
asking him where where she is in
her walk and allowing the Holy

70
00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:51,880
Spirit to work.
And so we start with prayer and

71
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,960
asking for the gift of prophecy
to be stirred up in our

72
00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:01,040
conversation.
And then we, there's three areas

73
00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:03,200
where I really see women get
stuck.

74
00:05:03,200 --> 00:05:06,560
And the first part of it is
oftentimes spiritual.

75
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:10,800
And they feel like, you know, I
know I need to read my Bible,

76
00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:15,680
but I don't, I don't have time
or I sit down to do it or I read

77
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,640
it and it doesn't make sense.
There's a lot of different

78
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,160
things that come up spiritually.
Sometimes it's a root of

79
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:25,200
bitterness and they there needs
to be some forgiveness that

80
00:05:25,200 --> 00:05:27,720
happens.
There's a lot of things that

81
00:05:27,720 --> 00:05:31,320
happen on a spiritual level that
that's where we start.

82
00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:35,600
That's the foundation,
surrendering over everything to

83
00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:39,280
God, everything from our lives
to our finances to our

84
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:44,760
businesses and our jobs and our
families and just surrender.

85
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:49,560
And then the next thing that I
see where people get stuck is in

86
00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:56,280
their mindset and they get
trapped in overthinking and

87
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:59,720
trying to control everything
because if they can control the

88
00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:01,600
outcome, then they won't get
hurt again.

89
00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:05,080
But we all know that that's not
possible, but we certainly try.

90
00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:09,800
And the constant worrying, the
ruminating thoughts.

91
00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:14,440
And so I teach them how to take
their thoughts captive so that

92
00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,040
God can transform the renewing
of their mind.

93
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:22,720
And then that gets them out of
that victim mindset and the

94
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:29,000
scarcity mindset and into victor
and prosperous mindset and

95
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:34,080
knowing that their thoughts can
change everything.

96
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:38,920
There's the the thought method
and it's basically your thoughts

97
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:41,040
lead to the feelings that you
have.

98
00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:44,720
Your feelings lead to the
actions that you take and your

99
00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:47,800
actions lead to results.
When we have results that we

100
00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:50,200
aren't happy with in our lives,
we automatically think our

101
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:53,920
actions need to change.
But really we need to go 2 steps

102
00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,160
back and look at the thoughts
that we have that are creating

103
00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,800
the feelings that we're having
and that's creating the actions

104
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:03,120
that we're taking.
Because if we're thinking, I

105
00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:08,360
can't do this, then your actions
are going to be in actions and

106
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,240
then they're going to see
results that you're not happy

107
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:11,920
with.
And so we go all the way back to

108
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,520
the thoughts that we're having.
And so I help with that.

109
00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:18,840
And then the third piece of it
is the physical part.

110
00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:22,720
And that is making sure that
you're eating nourishing foods,

111
00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:26,360
looking at neuroplasticity, and
actually rewiring the brain to

112
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:30,600
stop thinking negative thoughts
automatically and start thinking

113
00:07:31,440 --> 00:07:34,360
about gratitude, what we're
thankful for, what's working

114
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:38,640
well in our lives, sleeping
well, eating well, getting

115
00:07:38,640 --> 00:07:42,000
enough movement, doing all of
the things that we're supposed

116
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:46,160
to be doing physically so that
we feel good.

117
00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:50,320
And we can start changing our
bodies physically as well.

118
00:07:50,320 --> 00:07:53,040
Because there's a book out there
that says that the body keeps

119
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,760
the score.
And so all of the things that

120
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:59,280
have happened in our lives, we
say that kids are resilient.

121
00:08:00,240 --> 00:08:03,720
They're just our body is just
storing up all of that trauma

122
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,000
from everything that's happened
to us in our lives.

123
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:09,720
And then we start feeling the
crushing when we get into our

124
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:15,240
late 40s and early 50s and we're
seeing the results of the living

125
00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:16,920
a life of high stress and
trauma.

126
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:22,320
Yeah, we just take it on and
take it on and take it on.

127
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,600
And as caregivers, specifically
women, and I know there are some

128
00:08:26,600 --> 00:08:30,360
men out there who are caregivers
also, but predominantly the

129
00:08:30,360 --> 00:08:32,640
women in the household are the
caregivers.

130
00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:37,159
And we just keep taking it on
and trying to help others,

131
00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,360
especially us high achieving
women.

132
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:42,799
We're climbing the ladder, we're
striving.

133
00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:46,680
Maybe we're people pleasers,
ruminating, overthinking.

134
00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,800
And in my book Lead with Hope, I
talk about these three same

135
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,240
components.
I call it mind, body, spirit.

136
00:08:53,640 --> 00:08:57,240
And you know, with the spiritual
piece, I feel like the Lord

137
00:08:57,240 --> 00:09:00,480
spoke to me at a point in my
career where I had to make a

138
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:04,120
change.
And he said be still, be still,

139
00:09:04,120 --> 00:09:06,240
and know that I am God.
The first step.

140
00:09:06,240 --> 00:09:10,320
And I think our church vision
and mission statement is so

141
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:14,480
beautifully said.
Our mission statement is love

142
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:18,640
God, love people, serve all.
And when you do it in that

143
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,920
order, you're taking care of
that spiritual component and

144
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,440
you're doing things that matter.
You're prioritizing that

145
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,560
relationship with God above all
else.

146
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,480
And and that's the right order
in my opinion.

147
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:33,760
Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.

148
00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:38,600
And then with that mindset piece
you talk about, you talk

149
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:44,520
beautifully about the
interaction between our mindset

150
00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:48,320
and the way that our body
reacts, our hormone release, the

151
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:52,880
cortisol release, the way we
experience some of this in our

152
00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:58,280
amygdala.
And you know, it's as if you

153
00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:01,560
quoted this, the scripture of
renewing of your mind.

154
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,120
And there's so much brain
science out there.

155
00:10:05,360 --> 00:10:08,920
But when you read the Bible and
you look at verses like that,

156
00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,640
there's alignment there.
God invaded us to take captive

157
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,320
our thoughts.
To.

158
00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:20,280
Turn it over to him and you
know, kind of the spiritual and

159
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:22,640
the the mindset piece that
forgiveness.

160
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:27,160
I've heard it said that when you
need to forgive somebody else

161
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:31,160
and you refuse to do so, it's
like taking poison and expecting

162
00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:34,160
your enemy to die.
It's just going to happen.

163
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:39,600
We have to surrender that and we
have to forgive in order for us

164
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:44,080
to move on and to let go.
And I think for many of us,

165
00:10:44,080 --> 00:10:48,240
especially as high achieving
people, letting go is hard.

166
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,800
It is, yeah.
Yeah.

167
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:57,600
That's a piece of, of the, a, a
stress response when somebody is

168
00:10:57,600 --> 00:11:03,040
stuck in the survival mode all
the time that it's a stress

169
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:04,800
response to hold on to those
things.

170
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:08,600
If you think about a child who's
in foster care or who's been

171
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,520
adopted, that they hold on to
physical things.

172
00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:16,160
And if you try to take away from
them, they literally will think

173
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,840
that you are killing them
because they, there it's a piece

174
00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,760
of survival.
And so we as adults, it's that

175
00:11:22,760 --> 00:11:26,760
control and wanting to make sure
that, you know, it seems silly,

176
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,920
but we want to make sure the
dishwasher is loaded correctly.

177
00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,960
And if it's not loaded
correctly, then everything else

178
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,880
is going to fall apart because
we have to control that that's

179
00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:38,120
done correctly.
And it's letting go of some of

180
00:11:38,120 --> 00:11:41,480
those things.
Learning to let your nervous

181
00:11:41,480 --> 00:11:48,080
system just breathe and be OK
and know that you are safe and

182
00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:52,640
reminding, just like the child
that is in foster care, you're

183
00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:57,200
OK, you're safe, I've got you.
And God says that to us.

184
00:11:57,520 --> 00:12:01,440
And we have to remind ourselves
that we are OK and we are safe

185
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,440
and we're not in a dangerous
situation, but our nervous

186
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:09,520
system thinks that it is.
Yeah, Our brain is not wired for

187
00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,000
truth.
It's wired for survival.

188
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,480
And when we truly understand
that, we can see how some of

189
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:19,760
these practices you're talking
about really can't help us to

190
00:12:19,760 --> 00:12:23,280
reset our nervous system and to
get out of that stuck mode.

191
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:28,400
You know, I talked a little bit
on this podcast and I've shared

192
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:32,560
a little bit in my book as well
about getting to that point in

193
00:12:32,560 --> 00:12:35,520
my career where I had
experienced trauma and

194
00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:37,760
adversity.
And I just got to a point where

195
00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,360
I just couldn't do it anymore.
And I had to make a choice.

196
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:44,840
And that choice was to start my,
my new business Spark Hope Edu,

197
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:46,600
where I provide leadership
coaching.

198
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:52,280
I do speaking, I do consulting
with executives, with, with

199
00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:58,240
schools and organizations.
But before I did that, I was

200
00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:03,760
dealing with the cortisol
flooding my brain probably 24/7.

201
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:09,960
I had hit menopause and dealing
with the hormones, the UPS and

202
00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:11,760
the downs.
My hormones were all over the

203
00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:15,080
place.
And you do you experience brain

204
00:13:15,080 --> 00:13:19,640
fog, You feel like you could
lose your, your mind at any

205
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,960
juncture, you know, depending on
the stressors that are going on

206
00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:27,800
in your life.
And the only way I was able to

207
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:32,440
reset my nervous system and to
start over was to implement

208
00:13:32,440 --> 00:13:37,920
practices like daily Bible
reading, journaling, journaling

209
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:41,080
and writing has been such a
cathartic experience for me.

210
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:47,240
It has really changed my life,
grounding activities like

211
00:13:47,240 --> 00:13:51,400
meditation and mindfulness,
taking walks, getting outside

212
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,400
every day and enjoying the
sunshine.

213
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,600
Today I was out there planning
mums and just feeling the sun on

214
00:13:57,600 --> 00:14:01,520
your skin and enjoying that.
But in addition to that, it's

215
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:05,480
social interaction.
It's truly being in relationship

216
00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:09,840
with people in a relationship
where there's give and take.

217
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,920
It's not just take setting those
boundaries, those healthy

218
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:17,400
boundaries that we need to set
no matter what role we're in.

219
00:14:18,760 --> 00:14:22,800
I think all of those things can
really serve women well as they

220
00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:27,280
are resetting their nervous
system and developing habits to

221
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:31,520
lead and to live with hope.
Absolutely.

222
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:34,960
Yeah.
The my daughter was in therapy

223
00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,440
when she was young and her
therapist would have me go into

224
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,160
the waiting room and listen to
ACD on Walkman.

225
00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:45,680
And it was a parenting CD, but
it was parenting children who

226
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:50,360
had been through trauma.
And one of the examples that was

227
00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:55,640
used was that if you picture
your stress, your life as a cup,

228
00:14:55,960 --> 00:15:00,560
and the inside the cup is water,
and that water is stress.

229
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,760
And the empty space above that
is the tolerance for more

230
00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:05,960
stress.
And when we wake up in the

231
00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:08,280
morning, our cortisol
automatically spikes.

232
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,000
That's what wakes us up.
So it's physical, it's part of

233
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:17,200
our Physiology, but that if we
wake up and our cup is already

234
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:22,560
close to being full and then the
kids are running late and you're

235
00:15:22,560 --> 00:15:25,960
running late for work and you
forget your lunch or the keys

236
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:30,280
are who knows where and the dog
is barking at the squirrel at

237
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,000
the window.
Those things just keep adding

238
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,920
more water and we have less
tolerance.

239
00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:41,200
And then we get to work and an
e-mail comes in and we just

240
00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:45,680
burst out in tears.
And that's not what we think is

241
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,960
normal behavior, but it's just
that we don't have any more

242
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,560
tolerance for any more stress.
Or we're driving down the street

243
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:56,240
and all of a sudden we're
cussing at somebody because they

244
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,400
cut in front of us or they ran a
stop sign.

245
00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,320
Maybe they are at their stress
tolerance as well.

246
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,560
And all of a sudden we're acting
out of character for ourselves.

247
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,800
And we have this road rage.
And I think that when I see

248
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,360
people on the road, I think that
there's a lot of this happening.

249
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,480
You know, there's so much road
rage and it's because there's

250
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:15,960
just is not tolerance for any
more stress.

251
00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,720
And those things that you
mentioned, journaling and

252
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:22,440
meditating, all of those are
pouring a little bit of water

253
00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:25,800
out of the cup, taking a deep
breath, spending a little bit of

254
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:28,120
time outside.
Those things don't seem like

255
00:16:28,120 --> 00:16:31,840
they add up to much.
But if you're pouring a little

256
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:34,760
bit out, that gives you a little
bit more tolerance for a little

257
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:38,200
bit more stress.
And then eventually your cup is

258
00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:44,440
3/4 full instead of or 1/4 full
instead of 3/4 full or totally

259
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,840
full.
And so we're constantly doing

260
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:51,000
little things that we can do
every single day, just 1% better

261
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:54,040
every single day, pouring a
little bit more out of that cup

262
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,520
so that we can have more
tolerance for stress because we

263
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,280
just live in a stressful world.
That's the world that we live

264
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,800
in.
We can't control the

265
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:05,400
circumstances of our lives.
We can't control if our teenager

266
00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,400
walks in the house and slams
their bedroom door, but we can

267
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:12,920
control our thoughts that come
after that and how we react and

268
00:17:12,920 --> 00:17:15,760
if our first thought is what's
wrong with them.

269
00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,160
I don't tolerate that behavior
in this house.

270
00:17:18,599 --> 00:17:22,079
Our action and the results of
the relationship you have with

271
00:17:22,079 --> 00:17:24,640
your teen is going to be much
different than wow.

272
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,920
I wonder if she's really having
a bad day.

273
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,400
I should send her a text and
say, hey, if you need to talk,

274
00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:32,240
I'm here for you.
That is going to give you a

275
00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:36,760
result of a a bonded, loving
relationship instead of a broken

276
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,120
relationship that's just going
to start a fight.

277
00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:41,720
And then they're not going to
want to have dinner with you,

278
00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:45,160
and it just spirals into more.
Yeah.

279
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,120
And in leadership, we, we talk
about assuming positive intent

280
00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:51,160
and often times whenever we have
meetings and things like that,

281
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:55,280
we even add that to the, the
meeting norms.

282
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:59,920
It, it's a good norm to live
your life assuming the positive

283
00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:04,080
intent of other people.
But I'm going to be honest,

284
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:07,680
that's easier said than done
because we also carrying our

285
00:18:07,680 --> 00:18:11,240
trauma.
And I think between the, the

286
00:18:11,240 --> 00:18:15,560
pandemic and 2020, the
uncertainties that we're facing

287
00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:21,120
in our world, the pressures, the
stressors, just the life events

288
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:24,880
that are going to happen.
Stress is mounting every day,

289
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:31,840
and we all carry a cell phone
wherever we want, and that is a

290
00:18:31,840 --> 00:18:33,160
stressor.
It's supposed to be a

291
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,720
productivity tool, but it
actually serves as a stressor

292
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:41,320
because there's constant noise
in our life.

293
00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:47,160
And in order for us to
prioritize what matters, we have

294
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:51,080
to get intentional on the
choices we make, the boundaries

295
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:57,800
we set, and the actions we take.
And all of this is incredibly

296
00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:02,440
important advice for us to
process and then to implement in

297
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:04,040
our lives.
Yeah.

298
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,440
Yeah.
Now as you reflect on your

299
00:19:07,440 --> 00:19:11,160
journey, I know you've
experienced a lot of adversity,

300
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,960
you've coached a lot of clients.
When you bring that all

301
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:20,920
together, what would you point
to in terms of the biggest

302
00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:23,640
lessons that you have learned
over the years?

303
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:30,520
You know, I was thinking about
time when we had just when I

304
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:34,200
first was divorced, we had our
house had been foreclosed on.

305
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,840
And so I had to live with my
mom, with my daughters for a

306
00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,440
little while.
And we had just moved into our

307
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:42,000
own place.
And I was in my car one day and

308
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,120
I just heard God whisper to me
that if the story isn't good,

309
00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:51,120
the story isn't over.
And that gave me so much hope,

310
00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:56,240
because even on the bad days, I
knew that God was working all

311
00:19:56,240 --> 00:20:00,080
things together for our good
because we love Him.

312
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:03,120
And I knew that I was called
according to His purposes.

313
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:08,880
And that verse and that, what he
said to me gave me so much hope

314
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:11,960
to hold on to.
And it always just propelled me

315
00:20:12,080 --> 00:20:14,680
because I knew, OK, the story
isn't good yet.

316
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:17,080
That just means that we're in a
chapter.

317
00:20:17,160 --> 00:20:19,280
This is just a chapter of the
book.

318
00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:22,400
And until the story is good,
it's not over yet.

319
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,360
I love that, the power of
belief, you know, that's what

320
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,720
fuels our hope for a better
future.

321
00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:34,240
And I think that's why for me,
reading the Bible is so powerful

322
00:20:34,240 --> 00:20:39,880
because there are so many
promises of God giving us hope,

323
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:44,400
faithfulness.
He is sovereign and he loves us.

324
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,000
He loves each and every one of
us.

325
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:51,120
So that is that is powerful.
Now, we've talked a lot about

326
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,040
adversity.
We've talked about trauma.

327
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:55,800
I'm just curious, what gives you
joy?

328
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,160
What are the big or small things
in your life that give you joy?

329
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,280
My daughters definitely give me
joy.

330
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,560
I love hanging out with them.
They are so funny and such a joy

331
00:21:06,560 --> 00:21:09,760
to hang out with.
And my oldest daughter and I

332
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:12,680
have a routine of going to
breakfast every Saturday morning

333
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:18,760
and so just having the joy of
seeing them with dreams and

334
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,920
aspirations of their life.
They're 19 and 24 now.

335
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:28,240
And so we're past the the hard
years of parenting and in the

336
00:21:28,240 --> 00:21:31,880
exhale years of parenting where
everything's OK.

337
00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,360
They're still in my home,
though.

338
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:36,240
I know that as soon as they
leave, I'll probably start

339
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,760
worrying a lot more about them
because they'll be out of the

340
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,960
house.
So I still have that piece.

341
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:45,200
And then my dog, I have a dog,
her name's Mochi, and she's the

342
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,120
most adorable, cutest little dog
ever.

343
00:21:48,120 --> 00:21:52,920
And I read recently that looking
into a persons eyes that you

344
00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:57,200
love or a dogs eyes that you
love, that it actually increases

345
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,640
both of your oxytocin, which is
our happy hormone.

346
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:03,960
And so I tell her every day we
have to increase our oxytocin

347
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,240
and we just stare into each
other's eyes and it's just

348
00:22:07,240 --> 00:22:08,560
adorable.
She's so cute.

349
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,200
I love that.
I love that.

350
00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:14,680
And I'm thinking when I get off
of this podcast, I need to go do

351
00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:17,520
that with my husband.
I think he might think I've lost

352
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:19,600
my mind but.
Probably.

353
00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:22,880
I think it's worth a try.
Yes, and you know, he'll

354
00:22:22,880 --> 00:22:25,200
probably just laugh at you and
then both of you won't.

355
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:27,360
That will raise your oxytocin.
That's.

356
00:22:27,360 --> 00:22:29,360
Great.
That is awesome.

357
00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,160
Well, I'll let you know how that
goes.

358
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:35,960
Yes, do.
Now in your coaching with with

359
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:40,120
women who feel stuck, how do you
fuel their hope?

360
00:22:40,120 --> 00:22:44,960
Can you share a story with us
today of maybe a hope fueled

361
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:51,160
story where they have gotten
unstuck and they're living a

362
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,080
life of abundance now instead of
a life of scarcity?

363
00:22:55,000 --> 00:23:00,000
Yeah, yeah, I see it so much and
it's such a joy to see the women

364
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:04,040
we do is I start with just one
coaching call.

365
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:08,560
I do have a three month coaching
packages, but in just one hour,

366
00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:13,200
inviting the Holy Spirit in and
just giving them a space where

367
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:18,040
somebody is listening to them
and knowing that the Holy Spirit

368
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:22,800
is guiding and leading the
conversation, it gives them so

369
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,880
much breakthrough.
I have seen women go from not

370
00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:31,960
knowing what to do to starting
businesses, and some of them are

371
00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:36,520
on the brink of divorce to happy
marriages.

372
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:40,120
And you know, it's just really
so fulfilling to see.

373
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,960
And a lot of times it's just
those little aha moments.

374
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:47,960
You know, I was talking to a
client the other day and we she

375
00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:52,000
just had this aha moment where
she went from thinking that she

376
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:56,360
couldn't do something to knowing
that it's not in her hands to do

377
00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:57,960
that.
God is the God of

378
00:23:57,960 --> 00:24:02,040
impossibilities.
He makes the impossible possible

379
00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:07,560
and when we have hope and faith
in him and just seeing that her

380
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,680
knowing that that burden of
carrying that impossible thing

381
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:16,040
on her shoulders wasn't her to
hers to carry that Jesus has it.

382
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:20,920
And he's got this for her.
And He's given her words of

383
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,480
encouragement.
He's given her prophecy and she

384
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,240
knows where she's going and she
knows that he's got this.

385
00:24:27,240 --> 00:24:32,480
So it's really cool to see the
the breakthrough over and over.

386
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:35,400
Every time I talk to somebody,
just seeing how God is working

387
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,400
in their lives, It's really
beautiful to be a vessel to

388
00:24:38,400 --> 00:24:40,400
that.
That is amazing.

389
00:24:40,720 --> 00:24:42,720
And you know, again, it's that
letting go.

390
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:46,800
It's, it's learning to let go
and to give it to God.

391
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,640
And we've all heard it.
We've all experienced the

392
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:53,200
difficulties and letting go.
But I think when you come into

393
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:57,600
relationship with somebody who
is encouraging holding, you

394
00:24:57,600 --> 00:25:00,600
know, holding that person
accountable, there are

395
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:03,520
breakthroughs that happen each
and every day in coaching.

396
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:07,680
And it's, it's a wonderful way
to utilize your skills and your

397
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,640
talent.
So thank you for serving in that

398
00:25:09,640 --> 00:25:12,160
capacity.
Yes, I love it.

399
00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,400
Thank you.
Now, if somebody wants to get a

400
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,280
hold of you and learn more about
your coaching, how would they do

401
00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,760
that?
They can find me at my website,

402
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:24,000
which is Amy wadlington.com.
It's Amy and my last name is

403
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:28,880
WADLINGTON, so Amy
wadlington.com.

404
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,680
They can also find my podcast,
which is Prophetic Breakthrough

405
00:25:32,680 --> 00:25:36,120
for Christian women.
And I also have a book on Amazon

406
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:40,240
and it's Into the deep 21 days
of prayer and fasting.

407
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:45,440
And so that is a great way to
start your journey if you aren't

408
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,720
sure where to go on a spiritual
aspect because the first day,

409
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:54,680
day one is surrender.
And then I walk you through all

410
00:25:54,680 --> 00:25:57,920
of the things that are going to
help you overcome limiting

411
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,440
beliefs to spiritual warfare.
And it's a lot.

412
00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:06,360
So some people take a week to do
day one and and that's OK, it's

413
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:09,720
21 days, but it doesn't have to
be 21 consecutive days.

414
00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:15,880
All of those tools are so
helpful when you are facing your

415
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:20,920
own wilderness season.
And you know it's not if it's

416
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:24,000
when we all face them at
different times in our lives.

417
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,360
But the good thing is that, as
you said earlier, all things

418
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:31,720
work together for the good of
those who love the Lord Romans

419
00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:33,800
828.
And that is one of my favorite

420
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:38,040
scriptures.
So I appreciate you sharing your

421
00:26:38,040 --> 00:26:44,000
wisdom, sharing your insight,
and speaking hope into the world

422
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,880
today.
Amy, as we're closing this this

423
00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:50,160
show, what's giving you hope
right now?

424
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:56,440
Oh, I think just seeing God's
promises come to fruition.

425
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:01,000
It has been a long road.
It's been a hard road.

426
00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:06,680
And I really have seen his
promises come to light.

427
00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:11,080
Some of the things that he
whispered in my heart 20 years

428
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,840
ago, I'm seeing them happen
today, and it's really, really

429
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,000
cool.
I love it.

430
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:18,520
Yeah.
Times we get impatient, we want

431
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,760
to see it today, but God's
timing is perfect.

432
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:24,240
So thank you for sharing your
story today.

433
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:24,560
Thank.
You.

434
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,000
Thank you so much, Brandy.
Take care.

435
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,480
The world needs your leadership
and change starts with you.

436
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:34,520
So fuel your life with hope.
Embrace your purpose and shine

437
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,600
your light for others.
Until next time, keep leading

438
00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:45,120
with hope.
Over the years, I've seen it

439
00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:49,240
again and again.
When leaders align who they are

440
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:51,960
with how they lead, everything
changes.

441
00:27:53,120 --> 00:27:56,440
I want to invite you to
experience the Hope Fueled

442
00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:01,400
Leadership Kickstart.
It's a focused, high impact

443
00:28:01,400 --> 00:28:05,200
private coaching experience
designed to help you lead with

444
00:28:05,200 --> 00:28:07,920
clarity and confidence in every
decision.

445
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,080
Communicate your vision in ways
that inspire and connect.

446
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:16,840
Build habits that restore your
balance, energy, and sense of

447
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:21,440
purpose.
Because true leadership starts

448
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:25,280
on the inside.
So as we wrap up here today, I

449
00:28:25,280 --> 00:28:28,000
want to ask you one final
question.

450
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,680
Are you leading from reaction or
reflection?

451
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:38,200
You already have everything you
need to lead with hope.

452
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,800
Change starts with you.
Let's lead with hope from the

453
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,600
inside out.
If you want to learn more about

454
00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:48,480
the Hope Fueled Leadership
Kickstart, head over to my

455
00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:53,480
website, sparkhopeedu.com to
book your free consultation

456
00:28:53,680 --> 00:28:59,080
today.
Thanks for tuning in to Lead

457
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,320
with Hope, where we share
stories and strategies to help

458
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:05,600
you rise, lead, and redefine
what's possible.

459
00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:10,280
If today's episode inspired you,
please take a moment to like,

460
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:14,560
subscribe, and leave a review.
Your support helps us reach more

461
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:18,720
leaders like you who are ready
to lead with heart, purpose, and

462
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,560
resilience.
Don't forget to visit

463
00:29:21,560 --> 00:29:27,240
sparkhopeedu.com for resources,
upcoming events, and tools to

464
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:31,360
help you build a culture of hope
in your life and leadership.

465
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,080
We're so grateful to be part of
your journey.

466
00:29:34,560 --> 00:29:37,160
Until next time, keep leading
with hope.