Episode 83 | From Trash Bags to HOPE with Rob Scheer

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Welcome to the Lead with Hope
podcast.

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I'm your host, Brandy Kelly, and
today we're diving into a story

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of resilience, purpose, and the
power of hope.

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I'm so excited to welcome our
guest, Rob Shearer.

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He is the founder of Comfort
Cases.

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This is a nonprofit dedicated to
transforming the lives of

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children in foster care.
Because Rob knows first hand the

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challenges these kids face.
He entered the system at the age

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of 12 with nothing but a trash
bag.

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He didn't let that define him
though.

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Through determination,
compassion, and commitment to

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giving back, Rob turned his
experience into a mission to

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provide dignity, love, and hope
to over 300,000 children across

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the US, DC, Puerto Rico, and
even the UK.

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In this episode, we talked to
him about foster care, about

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small acts of kindness that
create a massive impact, and how

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every one of us has the power or
to make a difference in a

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child's life.
So grab a seat, open your heart,

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and get ready to be inspired
because this is the Lead with

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Hope podcast.
Before we jump in, a quick thank

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you to Craig Williams, founder
of Commissary, our legacy

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partner.
If you have ever felt like your

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story, your message, or your
brand needs clarity, Commissary

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exists to help you with exactly
that.

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They work with people who want
their voice to reflect their

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values and their purpose.
You can find their link in

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today's show notes and on the
Spark Hope website.

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Thanks to Commissary for their
belief in the power of story to

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create connection, clarity, and
hope.

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All right, Rob, thank you so
much for being on the show

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today.
Just tell me and the audience a

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little bit about your yourself.
I'd like to hear your story.

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Tell us more about who you are
and how you got to this point.

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Wow.
Well, first of all, I want to

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say thank you.
So thank you so much for

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actually giving me this
platform, but thank you for all

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the guess that you've had to be
able to share their stories.

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See, I'm a true believer that I
believe that we all have a

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story.
And when we share that story, we

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have no idea how it's going to
impact someone's life.

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And for me, my story is like so
many other kids within our

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foster care system.
As you and I are gathering today

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to have this conversation, we
have one child every two

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minutes, 700 a day who are
entering foster care in the

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United States just like me.
I was a 12 year old little boy

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who came into the system in the
70s.

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I'm the youngest of 10 kids.
My mother had been married 6

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times.
We lived in and out of every

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shelter in Maryland, Virginia,
DC, up the Carolina coast.

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And finally when I was 12, I
came into the system.

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You know, the fact is, is that
foster care wasn't a word that I

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had not heard of before.
You know, my brothers and

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sisters had already started
falling to the wayside.

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And we know what those
statistics are.

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Teenage pregnancy, drug
addiction, incarceration, you

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know, we're seeing actual
percentages that are alarming.

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close to 80% of death row
inmates were in foster care.

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You know, the amount of kids who
are human trafficked were in

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foster care.
And here I was, this 12 year old

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little boy and I'll never forget
it.

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Being handed a trash bag and
walking into a system of a House

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of strangers.
You know, kids come into our

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system because of choices other
people made.

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We have the ability as grown
adults to make the right choice,

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and that choice is not to make a
kid start out their journey in a

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shattered system with a trash
bag.

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When kids are smart enough to
know from the time they're this

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big to as big as me to know, the
trash bags were invented for

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trash, not children's clothing.
So for me, it was just being

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there and that's all I was as I
was there, you know, year after

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year just there.
And then it happened, you know,

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the fall of 84.
And I turned a senior in high

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school and I'd already known.
No one in my family ever

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graduated high school.
No one had made it that far.

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And here I was a senior in high
school, and I turned 18.

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It was October of 1984, and I
walked into my foster home, and

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they're waiting for me with my
trash bag.

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And I remember looking at my
foster parents, and by the way,

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I called them mom and Dad, I'd
lived in for that many years.

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And they said I had to leave.
They said they weren't receiving

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a check any longer, and I had to
go.

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And I became homeless.
You know, to me, that was a

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shock to the system because I
didn't know anybody that was

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homeless.
That wasn't.

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I mean, I was that kid in school
that didn't hang out in the

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smoking lounge.
I didn't skip school.

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I went to church every Sunday.
My grades were good.

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Yes, Sir.
No, Sir.

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And need to be on the streets.
You know, I have people all the

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time say to me, why didn't I
tell somebody?

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And I want to remind every
single person that's watching

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and listening to this podcast
when kids like me tell people,

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let me tell you what happens to
kids in foster care.

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You know, we're put in detention
centers.

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We are put in psychiatric
hospitals.

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People try to make us seem like
we're the issue within the

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community, especially as the
gangs grow with us.

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But truly, everybody must stop
and realize you all created me.

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The community created us, and so
if I tell people I was worried

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about what they would do with me
because they'd already forgotten

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me for all these years anyway.
And by the way, I'm going to

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tell you how we feel in the
system.

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We're pissed off at all of you.
We're pissed off that you have

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left us and you have forgotten
us and that you treated us as we

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were invisible, disposable, as
if we didn't matter.

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But for me, I just kept getting
up in the morning and in that

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abandoned bathroom and going
into school and stealing as much

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food as I could in the trash can
because I didn't know if I'd eat

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that night.
And then just realizing that,

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you know, my life was different.
See, I will tell you that right

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now, kids who are in foster
care, we're only given three

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choices.
That's it.

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Choice #1 We give up, give up
suicide rate in foster care.

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Brandy is higher than we've ever
seen.

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Choice #2 We give in.
We do exactly what you expect to

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us as a society.
We commit those petty crimes.

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We fill your detention centers,
your penitentiaries, or we take

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choice #3 and that's give it all
we got.

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And that's what I did.
I graduated high school when not

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one person clapped for me when I
crossed that stage, but I made

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it.
And then I joined the United

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States Navy and by by the way, I
did not join the Navy to take

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care of you or any of your
listeners.

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I joined the Navy because I was
hungry.

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I joined the Navy is because I
needed a place and I took that

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place and ran with it.
I became a very successful

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businessman and I never looked
back.

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I realized that what my
community truly had taught me

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was what I should care about is
me, me, me.

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I bought my big house in DC that
everybody walked by and looked

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at and said, damn, whoever lives
in that house, they were

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successful.
I bought a really expensive car,

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actually bought 2 of them
because when I pulled up at the

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stoplight, I was so concerned
about you looking at me to make

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sure that you realized how
successful I was.

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And then I filled my bank
account so that I could take all

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your viewers to Disney World.
But that's not what was

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important.
See, The thing is, is for me, I

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wanted to be a dad my entire
life.

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That's what I dreamed up.
I didn't dream about being a

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football player, being on stage
or any just be a dad.

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I wanted a child to look at me
and realize that when they were

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with me, they were safe.
When they were with me, they

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were loved.
When they were with me, I was

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standing with them because I
never had that, you know, and I

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knew that somebody needed me as
much as truthfully, I needed

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them.
And so my husband and I decided

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to adopt and I actually wanted
to adopt overseas.

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And my husband was the one who
said we were going to adopt you

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foster care.
I said, what are you talking

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about?
I was like, I know about those

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kids.
He was like, what are you

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talking about?
You were one of those kids.

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Wow, he was right.
You know, my husband actually is

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very smart.
He has his masters.

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I don't even know the difference
between there, there and there,

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but he was right, Brandy.
I was one of those kids and I

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was so worried about what
everybody would think about me

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that I didn't tell people
because I was worried that if

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you found out that I was the kid
that was eating trash while I

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was going through school that
you wouldn't want to break Brett

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with me.
And so at that I decided no

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more.
And when my first two children

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arrived 17 years ago, actually
on January 15th, my beautiful

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daughter Amaya, at the age of 4,
arrived with her little brother

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Makai, who were two.
And when they arrived at our

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home, both of them had trash
bags.

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And for me, it was that.
I mean, you want to talk about

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the just the wave of emotions
that came over me.

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I remember saying to the social
worker, how could this be?

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And she said, what are you
talking about?

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I said, how could we be a
society that say we care so much

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about children and we're giving
them trash bags?

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And she says, well, what should
we do?

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And I said, how about a little
dignity?

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But for me, it was about being a
dad, and I was a dad to the most

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beautiful little girl.
You know, I'm a father now to

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four boys and one girl.
And I remind people all the

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time, if you have the
opportunity in your lifetime to

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be a father to a little girl,
there is no other feeling, no

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other feeling.
I love my boys but being a

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father to a girl.
And I will also explain to

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everybody, women rule this
world.

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Once men realize that, this
world will be so much better.

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And I will tell you, I've raised
my daughter as a Princess

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because she will be a queen one
day.

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But she was so sad.
And I remember looking at Reese

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and saying, I don't think she's
ever going to smile.

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She actually got out of the tub
and put on her little pink robe.

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And she walked into her new
bedroom.

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And lying on the bed, Reese had
laid three night gowns that he

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had bought.
And she walked over to the bed

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and she picked up one of the
night gowns and she tore the tag

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off of it.
And she turned around and she

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smiled at me.
That smile lit that room up and

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I said, Amaya, why are you
smiling?

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And she said, Mr. Rob, I've
never owned a new pair of

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pyjamas before.
That's unacceptable.

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It's not acceptable that
children in our system because

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of a choice someone else made
and we can't even give their

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basic needs of a brand new pair
of pyjamas.

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But for me, it was about being a
dad.

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Month one, month 2, month three
goes by phone rings again.

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Hey, Mr. Scheer, I was like,
hey.

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And they were like, guess what?
I was like what?

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They were like we got two more
kids.

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I was like, what?
I was like, we already have two

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kids and they were like, we have
two.

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They were, we have a little boy
who's 2 and his brother who is 6

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months.
They're being fast tracked for

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adoption.
And I think they would just be a

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real fit with you and Reese.
And I said, I'll see you at

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7:00.
And I went home and Reese was in

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the kitchen with the Mayan Makai
and I told Reese about, you

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know, the social worker,
Colleen.

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And Reese was like, Rob, we got
to talk about this.

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And I said, that's fine.
We have until 7:00, literally at

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7:00 the doorbell rang and there
were our boys, my beautiful boy

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Tristan, who was six months, and
his brother Grayson, who was

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two.
Both of them again.

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Trash bags.
No baby blanket, no stuffed

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animal.
Let's pause for just a moment

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because I want to tell you about
a partner who truly aligns with

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the heart of this podcast,
Commissary.

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Here on Lead With Hope, we talk
a lot about clarity.

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Clarity of purpose, clarity of
voice, and clarity of direction.

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And that is exactly where
Commissary comes in.

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00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:53,080
They help leaders, educators,
and change makers uncover the

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story behind their work and
share it in a way that feels

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honest, meaningful, and deeply
aligned with who they are.

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If you have ever felt the nudge
to write a book, refine your

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00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:08,640
message, or build a brand that
actually reflects your values,

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00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:12,840
not just your resume, Commissary
doesn't rush you or box you in.

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They walk along inside you,
helping you Share your story

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00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:20,800
with intention and integrity.
You can learn more by clicking

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00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,800
their link in the show notes or
visiting them through the Spark

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00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,600
Hope website.
A big thank you to Craig

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00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:30,880
Williams and Commissary for
being a legacy sponsor of this

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00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:33,800
podcast and for investing in
stories that matter.

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Because when we share our
stories, when we share them with

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00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:40,840
clarity and with hope, real
change happens.

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00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:44,840
Brandy I'm actually a banker by
trade, was a banker for 28 years

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in the finance world.
And I was sitting in my office.

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My husband had come in because
we used to do these yearly toy

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drives, giving toys to all those
needy kids.

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And at that particular moment,
Reese came into my office and I

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told him I didn't want to do it
this year.

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And he was like, what are you
talking about?

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And I said, I truly think that
we're failing our kids.

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And he was like, what do you
mean?

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Our kids are like, amazing.
We adopted them.

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They're in school.
They're doing good grades.

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My kids had passports.
They traveled the world at their

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young age and probably have been
on more planes than I had been

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in.
And at that time, you know, I

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00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:20,800
was in my 40s.
And so I said, Reese, I said, as

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parents, we have two jobs.
One, teach your children their

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00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,400
legacy.
Our legacy and life should

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always be taught is what we give
and not what we take.

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And that's the problem that we
have here within our country is

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that we tend to so much gear
about taking and not giving.

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Then second, just something as
easy as empathy.

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Empathy.
See, The thing is, is that

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people have to understand
empathy is not in our DNA.

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It's not empathy is a taught
process.

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And how do we teach that at
young age?

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00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,560
And I was too worried about
worrying about what everybody

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00:13:56,560 --> 00:14:00,240
thought of me that I forgot to
teach my kids about thinking

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00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,760
what everybody else was
thinking.

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00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,280
So with that, he said, what do
you want to do?

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00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,760
And I opened up my desk drawer
like I'm going to do right now,

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00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:12,440
and I pulled out a trash bag.
See, the fact is, is I don't

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allow this to go far away from
me.

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00:14:14,400 --> 00:14:18,000
I don't want to ever forget
where I came from, and I never

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00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,160
want my children to be
embarrassed where they came

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00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,440
from, said Reese.
I'm going to eliminate these in

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00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:26,840
foster care in DC.
He said, you're crazy.

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00:14:26,920 --> 00:14:28,560
I was like, dude, that's why you
married me.

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00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:29,920
I was like, we're going to do
this.

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00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:32,320
And so we gathered members of
our church, some local

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00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:36,360
politicians, my senior staff and
I shared the story, the story I

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00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:39,280
just shared with you of a 12
year old little boy who was

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00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:42,280
given no hope, a 12 year old
little boy who was handed a

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00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:46,600
plastic bag and was taught that
that was going to define who he

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00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:48,640
was.
But then I told them about the

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00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:52,600
four kids who arrived with such
hope in their eyes that I knew

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00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,440
that tomorrow could be better
for kids in foster care than it

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00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:58,040
was that day.
So we grabbed a backpack.

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00:14:58,280 --> 00:15:01,160
In that backpack, we made sure
that every child got their own

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00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:03,520
brand new pair of pajamas with A
tag on it.

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00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:06,120
I want every kid to get their
own lotion, their own shampoo,

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00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:09,560
their own conditioner, and their
own bar of soap.

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00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:13,560
See, kids walk into a House of
strangers and we expect them to

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00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,320
assimilate like that.
That shouldn't happen.

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00:15:16,560 --> 00:15:20,400
We need to walk with them like
people walk with us when we stay

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00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:22,400
at hotels.
Guess what we get in that room?

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00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:26,200
A brand new bar soap children in
foster care deserve for the same

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00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:28,200
dignity.
I want every child to get their

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00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,040
own toothbrush and toothpaste.
And I remind people all the time

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00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:35,080
my teeth, they are beautiful,
but they cost me an arm and a

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00:15:35,080 --> 00:15:38,480
leg because when I was in the
system, dental hygiene wasn't

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00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,400
something that people
concentrated about.

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00:15:40,640 --> 00:15:42,920
And then I want every kid to get
an activity.

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00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:46,120
We know that close to 90% of the
children who enter our foster

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00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,680
care system come in the back of
a police cruiser.

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00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,080
They go to a center.
You can call them rainbow rooms

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00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,240
or whatever you want to make you
feel better.

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00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,760
They're nothing more than
holding centers.

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00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:00,840
These kids go into these places.
Crayons are broken, books are

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00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:05,240
ripped up, toys are broken.
I want them to have new of their

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00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,520
own.
So for kids under the age of 10,

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00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,760
we give them coloring book and
crayons, and kids over the age

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00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,720
of 10 get a brand new journal
and a pen and pencil set.

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00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,840
Then I want every kid to get a
book.

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00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:19,160
See, now I'm an author and I
truly have written my books for

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00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:23,320
only two reasons.
One, love it in your mind. 2

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00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,600
love it in your heart.
But the most flattering thing

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00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:29,240
you could ever do for a book is
pass it on.

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00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:32,200
Pass it on.
See, The thing is, is there's no

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00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,240
such thing as a used book.
It's only a book that's been

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00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,560
loved.
And then I want every kid to get

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00:16:37,560 --> 00:16:40,120
a stuffy because I don't care
whether you're a newborn or

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00:16:40,120 --> 00:16:42,600
you're 59.
We all love a good stuffed

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00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,880
animal.
And then finally, my son

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00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:47,880
Grayson, he was actually five
years old, and we packed our

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00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,840
very first case.
He's now 18.

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00:16:50,040 --> 00:16:53,120
He said, Daddy, we have to put a
blankie in every case.

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00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:55,640
I said a blankie.
I said, Grayson, you know, these

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00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:58,320
kids are not cold.
He said, I know, daddy.

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00:16:58,400 --> 00:17:00,840
But every time they wrap
themselves up in their blankie,

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00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,080
they know we love them.
Brandy.

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00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:04,880
Isn't that what we all want?
We.

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00:17:05,119 --> 00:17:07,800
Want to be loved, We want to
know we matter.

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00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,520
So with that, we packed a case
and another and another.

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00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,280
And because of amazing people
like you have given us platforms

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00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:17,760
like this, we have packed and
delivered over 300,000 cases.

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00:17:17,760 --> 00:17:21,079
We have delivered them to all 50
states, CN, Puerto Rico.

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00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:23,280
And I know I don't need to
remind your smart viewers,

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00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:26,359
Puerto Rico belongs to us.
Yes, it's surrounded by water,

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00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,800
but so is Hawaii.
You know, the thing that we must

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00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:31,760
remember is that our
forefathers, they truly actually

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00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,520
built communities for one
reason.

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00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:35,240
And it wasn't for our bushes to
match.

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00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:38,440
It was for us to take care of
each other and to understand

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00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:40,520
that your community is not your
zip code.

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00:17:40,760 --> 00:17:42,800
Your community is our human
race.

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00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:47,040
Absolutely, Rob.
That is such a powerful story.

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00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:50,440
And you know, I often say it's
the small things in life that

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00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:54,320
are the big things, but what are
we communicating to the people

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00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:57,040
that we come into contact with
each and every day?

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00:17:57,040 --> 00:18:02,120
And for those kids that trash
bag the small things like having

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00:18:02,120 --> 00:18:06,560
a 2 toothbrush, I mean, we we
don't think about that whenever

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00:18:06,560 --> 00:18:08,080
we.
Never remember going to the

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00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:11,280
dentist as a young boy.
Those small things that we take

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00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:16,480
for granted are basic things
that our kids in the system

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00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:20,840
don't have.
And so your story is so powerful

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00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:25,680
and what you're doing for those
300,000 kids that have received

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00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,800
a comfort case, that gives me so
much hope because those kids are

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00:18:29,800 --> 00:18:34,840
our future and they have to know
that we have hope in their

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00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:39,560
future in pre providing them
with something better than what

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00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,160
they have right now.
That's what we all want.

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00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,640
We want hope and we want love in
our lives.

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00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,840
And that's exactly what you are
providing for those kids.

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00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,560
So thank you for that.
And that's exactly why with us,

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00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:55,440
for our mission, it's all about
dignity and hope.

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00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,880
Because truly, without those two
things, where are we?

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00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,960
And for someone who's in foster
care, you know, something is

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00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:05,640
sometimes all we have.
It's all we have.

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00:19:06,120 --> 00:19:09,840
And I want kids who are
listening to this or kids to

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00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:14,120
know that they are the author of
their book.

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00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,560
They're the author and they get
to determine when the chapter

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00:19:18,560 --> 00:19:21,520
goes to the next one.
They get determine who's in that

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00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,000
chapter.
They get to determine where that

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00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:27,080
chapter goes.
And that's what I want them to

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00:19:27,080 --> 00:19:31,080
know is please, please don't
blame the system.

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00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,520
What you need to do is come with
me and help me change the

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00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,680
system, because that's how our
future will be brighter.

378
00:19:37,720 --> 00:19:40,000
Absolutely.
And I would say that there's a

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00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:44,040
lot of similarities in the
different systems in our world

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00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,360
education right now.
The leaders that are listening

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00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:50,840
to this show, oftentimes they
feel like the education system

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00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:54,920
is broken too, and that they're
kind of stuck in some repetitive

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00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:59,280
patterns that aren't serving
them or the the adults, the

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00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:04,080
teachers, the the counselors,
the principals, and certainly

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00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:07,120
not the students and the
education system.

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00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:11,160
But you're exactly right.
They have the pen and they get

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00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,520
to write that story, but it's
the choices we make.

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00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:17,600
Exactly.
We have to be empowered, we have

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00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:21,800
to encourage and surround
ourselves with people that lift

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00:20:21,800 --> 00:20:25,040
us up and make us better as a
result of being in that

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00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,720
community.
There's so much power in

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00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,200
community.
I agree.

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00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,280
I agree.
You know, I say that quite

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00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,520
often.
I also remind people that are,

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00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:37,160
you know, the elders used to say
invest in a child, you invest in

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00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:38,960
their future.
That is a lie.

397
00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:42,960
When you invest in a child, you
actually invest in my future, in

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00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,680
your future because they are
leaders of tomorrow.

399
00:20:46,800 --> 00:20:49,320
So come on, this is a no
brainer.

400
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,120
This is a no brainer when it
comes to.

401
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,280
And by the way, you know, Nelson
Mandela said, it's so clearly

402
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:58,520
each and every one of us are
judged in society by the way we

403
00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:01,320
treat our children.
We almost understand the kids in

404
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:03,160
foster care, they don't belong
to you.

405
00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:05,240
Kids in foster care don't belong
to me.

406
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:09,000
Kids in foster care belong to
us, to us.

407
00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:12,000
And right now, if someone's
looking at the way we treat

408
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:14,960
them, it's very shameful and we
can do better.

409
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:18,800
So you've talked to us about
your story, some powerful

410
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,680
takeaways there, Rob.
But when you reflect on that,

411
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:26,880
what would you say had the
biggest impact on where you're

412
00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,960
at now you've started this
company comfort cases.

413
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,680
So what had the biggest impact?
Or was there like that aha

414
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:36,640
moment where you just knew, OK,
I have to do this?

415
00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,000
You know, I, I don't really, you
know, there's so many things in

416
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,280
my journey that, you know, I
even write about it in my

417
00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:45,080
memoir, Forever Family.
You know, I had an amazing

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00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,920
teacher in high school who
always would bring extra food.

419
00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:53,040
I think that she truly was the
one who got me through not being

420
00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:56,560
able to do something stupid when
I was in school, when I was in

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00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,960
my early 20s, I had somebody in
my career who believed in me and

422
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,120
gave me that shot where nobody
else would.

423
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:05,280
Again, act of kindness.
It's the one simple acts of

424
00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:08,040
kindness.
And when it comes to our our

425
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,640
nonprofit comfort cases, I have
to, I say it all the time, I

426
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,200
have to give all the credit in
the world to Noel Kalfi, my

427
00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:19,120
assistant to saw what we had
done packing those cases and

428
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,000
said, you're starting a
nonprofit.

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00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:22,360
And I said, what are you talking
talking about?

430
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:24,800
I come from the.com world.
I'm going to take her.

431
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,520
How in the world are you going
to think you going to throw

432
00:22:26,520 --> 00:22:28,840
methat.org world over a bunch of
givers?

433
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,320
She did the best thing for me
because guess what?

434
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:34,400
I don't have a job anymore.
I have a purpose, and there's

435
00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,480
nothing better than to wake up
in the morning and know that

436
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:42,320
what you're doing is purposeful.
A college professor once told me

437
00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:45,360
that if you love what you do,
you will never work a day in

438
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,840
your life.
And it's that's.

439
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:49,920
Why we never talk about the R
word, You know, it's funny

440
00:22:49,920 --> 00:22:52,760
because my husband has been, you
know, he's the kids are all you

441
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:54,440
know.
So now just to let you know, in

442
00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:58,800
2019 when I took the leap of
faith and decided to get out of

443
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:04,040
my banking plush job and go into
the nonprofit public speaking or

444
00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:07,120
arena, little would I know, not
only would that change my life,

445
00:23:07,120 --> 00:23:11,720
but we would meet our fifth
child and you know, meeting Alex

446
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:15,280
and Naam in 2019.
And you know, we actually met

447
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:19,160
him in 2018.
In the fall of 2018, he moved in

448
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:20,560
with us.
I met him in September.

449
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:23,720
We asked him to live with us in
December, COVID heads.

450
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:26,560
And the next thing you know, a
year after that, we adopted him

451
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:32,880
and he's now 25 years old.
My kids are 25211918 and 17.

452
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,840
I'm a proud dad.
I'm a proud dad.

453
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,880
Awesome.
And I'm I'm assuming that none

454
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:42,240
of those kids when they turned
18 saw a trash bag.

455
00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:44,640
I will.
You can also make the assumption

456
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,080
that my keep my oldest is 25, my
youngest is 17, and all five of

457
00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:51,640
them live at homes.
Well, as as a mom, as somebody

458
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,640
who has an empty nest.
My husband loves it.

459
00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:57,280
I do not.
I would to have the children

460
00:23:57,320 --> 00:24:00,160
come back and live with me.
I miss him so much but

461
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,400
differences.
And I totally understand that,

462
00:24:04,400 --> 00:24:07,320
you know, for my husband, you
know, my husband, you know, he's

463
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,800
been a stay at home dad for over
16 years.

464
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,920
And so, you know, The funny
thing was when our youngest

465
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,560
finally got his license and his
own vehicle, my husband was

466
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,680
like, I'm not an Uber driver any
longer.

467
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,720
And now I just love when they
call me or text me because even

468
00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,720
when they're home, sometimes I
don't see them.

469
00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,280
There's nothing better than
spending time with your grown

470
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,240
children.
It's just amazing.

471
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:33,560
And then when your children have
children, my grandchildren, I

472
00:24:33,560 --> 00:24:37,400
have 3 grandchildren about to
have my 4th.

473
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:42,960
And the time I spend with those
boys is just that is what's

474
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,400
giving me hope right now for the
future.

475
00:24:45,400 --> 00:24:47,920
Those boys, they just light up
my life.

476
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:51,320
My kids, my kids joke all the
time that they're they're kind

477
00:24:51,320 --> 00:24:54,240
of worried about when the
grandkids come because, you

478
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,520
know, I'm just, but I tell my
kids all the time I'm nowhere

479
00:24:57,520 --> 00:24:59,960
ready to be a grandfather.
But you know, I'm more than

480
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:02,400
happy to have my granddog that
my I have.

481
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:06,680
My grandkids.
It's even better, Rob, than

482
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,960
being a parent, trust me.
I can't wait, but I'm not ready

483
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,640
anytime soon.
Maybe like. 6-7 years.

484
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:14,840
I get that.
Completely, completely

485
00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:17,080
understand.
So I told you what's giving me

486
00:25:17,080 --> 00:25:19,640
hope right now.
Tell me what's giving you hope

487
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,120
for the future right now.
What a great question.

488
00:25:22,120 --> 00:25:24,000
What's giving me hope for the
future?

489
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:27,360
You know, I came into our
National Center yesterday and

490
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:31,480
sitting at the table were three
of our interns.

491
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,360
I'm still home from college and
they were handwriting.

492
00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:38,480
Thank you notes to our donors,
which is something that we've we

493
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,560
all wait, we've been doing, I've
been doing it since I started

494
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:43,840
business.
I think it's very, very

495
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:48,160
important to acknowledge people
and by doing a handwritten thank

496
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,280
you notice to me so, so
important.

497
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,560
And as I looked at these three
college students, you know, 1

498
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:58,680
was a freshman, 2 were one was a
sophomore and one was a senior.

499
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:00,720
And they've been with comfort
cases for years.

500
00:26:00,720 --> 00:26:04,800
And turning that's what I saw as
hope because when I see kids

501
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:07,720
helping kids, I know my future
is brighter.

502
00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,760
So that truly gives me hope
because through all the dark

503
00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:14,000
storms that we're seeing on the
horizon, through all the

504
00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:17,480
darkness that we see with kids
in our foster care system, if we

505
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:21,560
do not look within our day for
that spark of hope, how do we

506
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:26,280
really get through that day?
Yeah, we all need hope, and that

507
00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:31,360
is what fuels that belief that a
better tomorrow is possible.

508
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:34,200
As I said earlier, I love the
work that you're doing.

509
00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:37,840
I love the fact that you're
providing these comfort cases

510
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,840
and the resources for these
kids.

511
00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:41,880
So, you know, I'm here in
Illinois.

512
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:45,960
If somebody's listening to this
show, yeah, they get in contact

513
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:49,120
with you and learn more about
comfort cases if they wanted to

514
00:26:49,120 --> 00:26:52,640
bring it to their area.
Yes, we have comfortcases.org.

515
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,600
And by the way, as I said, we're
in all 50 states, DC, Puerto

516
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,240
Rico.
And in 2021, we opened up a

517
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:02,520
center in the UK where we serve
roughly about 84,000 children in

518
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,680
the United Kingdom.
This year, hopefully by second

519
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,840
quarter, we will start our
mapping out.

520
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,400
We just got approved for our
Canadian license, so we'll be

521
00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:15,320
having a center in in Canada.
So first of all, if you're a

522
00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:18,280
social worker and you work
directly with kids who are in

523
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,360
our foster care system, go to
comfortcases.org, get the very

524
00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:23,760
top order a case.
They're free for you.

525
00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:28,040
Our case is retail for $178 with
all of the things in them.

526
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:30,200
We do not brand any of our
stuff.

527
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:33,520
Children are not walking
billboards and we do not allow

528
00:27:33,520 --> 00:27:36,120
things to be branded within our
our cases.

529
00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:38,200
But go on and you can order
them.

530
00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:41,240
But guess what else you can do
is 7 years ago, recent, I

531
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,840
realized the trash bag wasn't
being eliminated.

532
00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:46,560
So we were able to get our
amazing friends at Briggs and

533
00:27:46,560 --> 00:27:50,520
Riley to actually get us a bag
that we call the Comfort XL.

534
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:55,040
It is actually a 32 inch duffel
bag that folds up the size of a

535
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:59,800
book, retails for about $129.
I get them for $10 a piece.

536
00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:02,920
We give them free.
They come out to be about this

537
00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:08,080
big OK, and so social workers
can order better than for free.

538
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,120
We will ship them out within
three days.

539
00:28:10,120 --> 00:28:13,240
And the only thing they need to
do is go to comfortcases.org.

540
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,080
If you're someone within the
community who wants to truly

541
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,560
impact your community, reach out
to us.

542
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:21,920
We do packing parties.
We have comfort cases clubs

543
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:24,160
throughout high schools and
middle schools throughout our

544
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:27,240
country, including on our
college campuses.

545
00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:30,080
So there's always a way for you
to give.

546
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:33,520
Because the thing I will say,
Brandy, as we end this talk,

547
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:36,720
each and every one of us are
different colors are different

548
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,600
to everything about us is
different.

549
00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:41,960
But the one thing that we're the
same is that each and every one

550
00:28:41,960 --> 00:28:47,240
of us, we all have time, time.
And it is the most valuable

551
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:49,560
thing that is given to each and
every one of us.

552
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:55,440
The thing is, is truly how do
you use that time?

553
00:28:55,480 --> 00:29:00,120
And that to me is so, so
important because we're 96%

554
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:04,400
volunteer and organization.
So when people see things that

555
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:06,240
we do and they're like, how did
you do?

556
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:08,400
I'm like, because I'm a true
believer.

557
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:12,680
If you go to your community and
you tell them of a problem and

558
00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,840
you show them how to correct it,
they will correct it.

559
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:19,560
And we've seen that through the
waves of laws that are now being

560
00:29:19,560 --> 00:29:23,400
passed, bills that are going in
front of different states.

561
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:27,400
We've passed it in Texas,
Maryland, we've passed it in New

562
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:30,040
York and Colorado.
We're getting ready to pass it

563
00:29:30,040 --> 00:29:33,920
on Friday in Virginia, where
there's an actual bill that says

564
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,800
you cannot give a child in
foster care a trash.

565
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:39,960
Bag.
Such a simple thing, but such a

566
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:44,040
powerful purpose.
And for the listeners, what I

567
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:47,960
would encourage you to do today,
no matter who you are or where

568
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:52,240
you serve.
What is 1 of kindness that you

569
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:56,000
can pay forward today?
Start there and just build from

570
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,400
that.
Because when kindness ripples

571
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,840
out into our community, hope
grows.

572
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,200
So Rob, thank you so much for
being on the 3rd and sharing

573
00:30:06,200 --> 00:30:09,680
your purpose and your story.
I love what you're doing and I

574
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,920
hope we can stay in contact.
We will.

575
00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:13,680
Thank you, Brandy.
Take care, everybody.

576
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:18,560
That's a wrap for today's
episode of Lead with Hope.

577
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:23,080
Remember, the world needs your
leadership and change starts

578
00:30:23,080 --> 00:30:24,880
with you.
Fuel your life with hope,

579
00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,240
embrace your purpose, and shine
your life for others.

580
00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:32,560
If this episode inspired you,
I'd be so grateful if you could

581
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:36,000
take a moment to give us a five
star rating and share it.

582
00:30:36,560 --> 00:30:41,560
Every review helps spread hope
and empowers more leaders to

583
00:30:41,560 --> 00:30:44,080
rise.
Thanks for listening and until

584
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,400
next time, leading with hope.