Episode124 | Introducing the HOPE Hot Seat

speaker-0: Hey everybody, welcome back to the Lead with Hope podcast. I am your host, Brandi Kelly. And today I am excited to introduce a new segment on the show called The Hope Hot Seat. And this is a segment where I get an opportunity to talk to real leaders, pull back the curtain on challenges that they're facing in their leadership today. So today, what you're gonna see is a real life coaching session with a principal. in Michigan, correct Will? That's right. All right. So Will, why don't you start off by just sharing a little bit about who you are and your leadership journey?

speaker-1: For sure. Brandy, thank you for having me on. This is awesome. It's it's really great to be a to be a guest here and and I'm also just looking forward to getting coaching from you. Will McLean, I'm starting my twenty fourth year in education, predominantly in secondary, middle schools mostly with some high school and a little bit of elementary experience. My family just made a big change where we moved from Richmond, Virginia to Kalamazoo, Michigan. where my wife has started a new job up here and I had the opportunity to join Climax Scots Elementary School as their new principal. So it's been really, really, really cool coming from a much larger market in Richmond, Virginia to now being in Climax where you know, just on the other side of our playground fence is a gigantic corn cornfield and soybean farm and yeah, it's a beautiful place to be. It's been been quite different.

speaker-0: So let's go ahead and just jump right into this coaching session today. You are navigating a lot of change in your personal life. There's been a lot going on for you and your wife and your family. But when you think about the single most important outcome that you would walk away from this session with today, what would that be?

speaker-1: think what I'm trying to walk away from and what I spend really every day trying to work through is leading from a different place where, you know, where I had to kind of use armor a little bit in my leadership in my former environment because it was very it was very fast. You know, I was in a building with sixteen hundred middle schoolers from sixth through eighth grade and things come at you really quickly. not just from parents and from students, but just the expectations from everybody involved. So you really do learn to walk around with an armor a little bit where you try to really control your environment. You try to predict things that are going to happen. You try to predict conversations and you try to control them, right? I mean that's kind of a bad way to think about it, but you do because predictability and consistency means no surprises and no fires and it just makes it a little bit easier. So I'm now learning that I don't have that in this environment. You know, I'm I'm now in a system where I am the elementary school principal and I work closely with our junior high school principal and it's just the two of us. And you know, like you saw me on the phone with my superintendent right before we started here. It is a pick up the phone and just talk. So learning how to how to lead without putting armor on, if that makes sense.

speaker-0: Okay, so if you were to learn how to take that armor off, how is that going to transform your daily leadership focus?

speaker-1: Yes. It helps me not second guess myself, right? It helps me it helps me lead by not thinking, okay, who is this going to hurt or who do I need to protect from this or it helps protect me from that overthinking or from that decision making with with hesitation. Because that's not that's not a comfortable place to be, you know, in twenty four years I'm I know that I'm not a perfect leader, but I I do have certain skills and I do know how to execute and I I know how to take care of my staff and I know how to take care kids and I do notice myself operating from that place of overthinking and and and yeah, over contextualizing things.

speaker-0: That's great insight that you have. And I know that you have worked very hard to get that level of self-awareness. When you think about moving away from that overthinking, taking that armor off, what makes this goal so challenging for you right now?

speaker-1: You and that's that's something that I asked 'cause it should be as easy as, well, okay, but will you now you're going to work in this building. So I think it's it's almost just that. It's that I didn't realize I was putting armor on or the extent of the armor I was putting on, you know, because it wasn't it wasn't a negative thing, you know, it wasn't a negative experience. I had a great experience working there. It was just Now that I've stepped away from it, I realize all of the things that I had to do and all of the systems that I had to try to control or put in place or predict or or manipulate. It's exhausting. Yeah. And I think I think that's the hard part for me is I didn't realize that I was falling into those patterns until I got here. So now I'm having to kind of move away from those patterns while I'm living it, you know, while I'm trying to lead and learn in this way.

speaker-0: Now talk to me about the habits or those underlying beliefs that contribute to

speaker-1: you know, and I'm I I admit it and you and I know each other from all these conversations, you know, just who I am as a person, but it is the perception, right? It's operating from a real fear of is this decision going to impact how I'm perceived as a leader globally? Or, you know, is this decision going to reflect my responsibility or going to reflect my care in a way that I don't that I don't want it to? Mm-hmm. That that's heavy. That those are exhausting ways to to kind of think about to think about life.

speaker-0: It is. And and what you do matters so much. You're you're taking care of other people's children. You are taking care of your staff so they can take care of other people's children. And so sometimes, whether it be fear or underlying belief that keeps us stuck, we've got to peel back that onion and really understand the cost. What is the cost to staying where you're at and not addressing the obstacle of overthinking or the fear based reactions. What's the cost if you do nothing?

speaker-1: I think I keep I I keep that paranoia running, right? That that paranoid script in the back of your head of always thinking, like, okay, well, you know, how is all of this going to be perceived and and am I leading the right way? You know, according to who, you know, at some point becomes the becomes the thing. Because, you know, bu building leadership is a really difficult thing because there does come a point in time where a decision does have to be made and it may not be popular and it And and it may not matter if it's popular or not because it's a decision that has to be made and my name's the one that has to to go on it. So the cost if I do nothing is that hesitation and not trusting the skills that I have, not trusting the mentorship that I've had, not trusting the experience. You know, that would be the cost. Because what a shame, right? What a shame to not rely on twenty four years of that coaching and mentorship and experience when making these decisions, 'cause they're super important. Like you said, that the outcomes are are these kids that are that are running around. So I think that's the cost would be wasting those twenty four years worth of lessons.

speaker-0: So let's brainstorm because it's clear you're not willing to pay the cost. You are going to take this armor off, you're going to get rid of the overthinking, and you're going to step into a mode of leadership that you're very proud of. Not that you weren't proud of the previous version, but we are always becoming a better version of ourselves. So as you think about your options for success. How do you overcome these obstacles, Will?

speaker-1: So for me is acting on the small things. It's almost exactly what you would do or what I did for my students in the classroom, which is, all right, by the end of the year, we're gonna be sweating in here and the rigor's gonna be really high. So I'm gonna give you guys some opportunities for success. I'm gonna feed you success first. so I'm doing that to myself a little bit too. I'm I'm I'm really celebrating those low stakes decisions, those times where I can make a decision. And maybe the perception does get a little wonky, but it's okay. So For me, that's it, is giving myself those opportunities for success. But really the important part, and you know, this has taken time through through other things in my life, through sobriety and and through things like that that you and I have talked about. But it's the celebrating when I get it right. You know, it's wow, you did trust yourself. You did trust your coaching and your mentorship on that one. And so for me it's gonna be that. It's building those moments.

speaker-0: Absolutely that mastery experience, you're you're building off of past successes, you're building off of the self efficacy that you have have cultivated in your life and in your leadership. Do you see any hidden opportunities in this obstacle or this challenge?

speaker-1: Hope so. The one that I want to see that I haven't seen yet is like that that, you know, shedding that idea that, you know, folks' perception of me really, really does drive how I operate. 'Cause we're all human beings, right? Like I, you know, it doesn't matter if you have a hundred people on staff or if you have twenty people on staff, you want to be liked, you want to be trusted, you want all those things. So, you know, I think for me that's it, right? Is is kind of living life without that that fear of of is perception going to drive my next decision?

speaker-0: Now let's say that you were advising a leader in your position, a principal of an elementary school, exact same situation. What advice would you give?

speaker-1: man, I think I'd be a jerk and say, well, trust yourself. You know, you have twenty four years. It's so easy to say trust yourself, right? Like twenty-four years, right? You've got a great resume, you've got some great experiences. I would tell that person to trust themselves. But but boy, man, when you're standing over it, you know, it's a it's a completely different thing. But that's the advice that I've got to give myself is there's always that moment, right, where you're like, I got it, I know the answer. So trust it and go with it.

speaker-0: And you do. You have those 24 years. You have the skills. You have the strengths. But we have to build that muscle. And it takes time and that consistency compounds. As we wrap up today's coaching conversation, I want to identify the moves we walked through together. First, Will and I recognize the pattern. He began to identify how the armor that he had developed in a high pressure environment was showing up in this new role. And it was showing up as overthinking, hesitation, and trying to anticipate every possible reaction. Next we explored the cost. What happens when the desire to get it right keeps us from trusting what we already know? What do we miss when we When we spend so much energy trying to control the outcome that we hesitate to move forward. And then we began to reframe this story. Will has 24 years of leadership experience. He has wisdom and leadership lessons under his belt. He doesn't have to have every answer to be an effective leader. He can share his thinking, invite others into the process, and build trust without pretending to have it all figured out. And finally, I left Will with this question What's your next right step? Not because I expect him to have transformation overnight, because that's just not realistic. One intentional step toward leading with greater trust and authenticity, that's all he needed. And Will, I'm gonna check back in with you in 30 days to see how things are going, what you're learning, and the progress that you're making. Because the real work happens after the conversation ends.

speaker-1: Hmm.

speaker-0: It happens in the decisions that you make, the moments when those old patterns show up, and the choices that you make in response. And for everyone listening today, where might the armor you've developed to protect yourself be? Be keeping you from becoming the leader you want to be. And what's your next right step? You don't have to solve everything today. You do not have to eliminate every doubt or have every answer. You just have to be willing to take that next step. That's a wrap for today's episode of Lead with Hope. Remember, the world needs your leadership and change starts with you. Fuel your life with hope, embrace your purpose, and shine your light for others. If this episode inspired you, I'd be so grateful if you could take a moment to give us a five-star rating and share it. Every review helps spread hope and empowers more leaders to rise. Thanks for listening, and until next time, keep leading with hope.