Episode 107 | Reclaim Your Worth with Steve Wormer

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speaker-0: Have you ever felt stuck between what you've been through and what you feel called to do? we're talking about moving from that pain to a place of purpose, ⁓ confidence through daily habits, and overcoming obstacles to reach your dreams. Welcome the Lead with Hope podcast, where we explore the power of hope in leadership and in life.

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speaker-0: My guest today will talk about his experiences as a pastor and an entrepreneur and how he has used hope as a leadership strategy.

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speaker-0: Welcome to the show today, Steve.

speaker-1: Randy, I'm excited to be with you. Thank you so much for having me today.

speaker-0: this is definitely going to be a fun conversation and I think it's going to be an insightful conversation for the listeners too.

speaker-1: Absolutely.

speaker-0: Steve, why don't we just start off with one of my favorite questions? Tell your story. Tell us about you.

Brandi Kelly: A big thank you to Craig Williams and Convissary for being a legacy sponsor of this podcast And for investing in stories that matter because when we share our stories with clarity and hope, real change happens.

speaker-1: gosh, you know that question's so easy, but it's so so challenging to give the Cliff Notes version. ⁓ well, I'd be nothing without my faith. So I've been a Christian for twenty-two years, and even before that, the Lord was using my bride who I've been married to for 30 years here in a couple of months, to start to calm The the immature, wilder version of Steve back in his twenties. so she's definitely been a gift. I have three k we have three kids, 1917 and 15. We currently live in Memphis, Tennessee, where I'm a pastor. have been for 15 years now, ⁓ and got feet the entrepreneur waters the last three or four years of pretty Pretty significant w depths, I guess you could say, if we're talking about waters. on the fun side of things, I actually like to go to the gym. I like collecting ⁓ sports which I just got back into about a year and a half ago after many years of not doing it all. I have a bass guitar that I'm looking at in the corner of my office that literally has some dust on the stand that it's sitting in. That that tells me it's crying out for me to play it. that's that's a little bit about me.

speaker-0: I love that. Now, just took the disc assessment again today, Steve, and you were talking a little bit about ⁓ things that fuel your your passions and some your core values and and we're gonna unpack more of that in this show. But ⁓ have taken the disc assessment?

speaker-1: I've never actually taken the disc itself. I've taken a couple similar, but not not disc if you're talking about the one from Maxwell.

speaker-0: Yes. We're gonna have to fix that. We're gonna have to get you hooked up with the disc assessment. So I've taken it a few times. I took it in transition. And so now that I've transitioned out of the superintendent role and I'm more steady in my entrepreneurial lane as a speaker and a coach, I wanted to take it again. And the really cool thing about that, Steve, is we talk about our faith and we talk about turning the pains that we have experienced in our life into purpose. Well, I believe we have to lean into who God created us to be. We have to lean into those God given strengths. I'm a very high D. So I'm dominant, I'm direct, I'm decisive, sometimes too much so. ⁓ as a matter of fact, as my stress increases, I have to be careful. I have to watch that because I go even more D instead of less D. So I say all of that to say ⁓ you have kind of traveled this journey of life and you have gotten to know who you are a little bit better. with each decade, right? As we get older we should get to know ourselves a little bit better. Talk to me about your strengths. Talk to me about what makes you who you are.

speaker-1: Yeah, we will need to fix that ⁓ disc assessment at some point. I and I alluded to this when I was telling you who I was, when I was younger, like a lot of ⁓ young folks that are still processing who they are, where they come from, all that, ⁓ had no filter. And I would stuff emotions, but only so long. And then because I didn't know how to process those emotions that I was stuffing. I was also very direct like you, but I was very it wasn't it wasn't just direct with my words. I was very confrontational. obviously, ⁓ you know, as I've matured, ⁓ I found God, that a lot of that has has been honed. but to answer your direct question, I think where I've grown into and and i'm i'm even thinking of paul right now when he says i've learned to be content like it's doesn't just come easy right i think i'm a good listener i th I can't I'm about to say this about myself because sometimes I wonder if it's still true. I think I've learned to be more patient. I've learned to more tolerant. I know there's a ton of room to grow Mat matter of fact, my joke about patience is there's there's eight other fruits of the spirit. I'm not gonna pray for that one because God's gonna give me that test whether I pray for it or not. Exactly. But I I I I think the two things that really stand out to me are from what other people have told me is I'm a good listener I'm very resilient. And think that's just come from the trials that God's given me.

speaker-0: Yeah, and I do believe that we have a choice. We can either use what we have gone through. And help others because of our adversity, because of our pain, ⁓ can continue to stuff those emotions, we can become bitter, we can let that ⁓ of bitterness really affect our lives, and it it can take us down really ugly paths in life. So I agree with you, Steve. I think God's going to teach us patience whether we pray for it or not. I'm in a season right now where I believe with my whole heart that God is teaching me patience in the big things and the small things, but it's refining our character and it's helping us to be more like Christ. And it's helping us to be a better version of who we are. Now I think God also, I don't think, I know God places people in our lives at the right time. help us to develop character ⁓ and become the version of ourselves. You're a person early on when we started talking, ⁓ you're easy to to. I think ⁓ you are a listener. I would definitely agree with that statement. ⁓ And I think just clicked, Steve, but Like me, I'm sure you've had coaches along the way and I'm sure you've coached people along the way. Talk to us about the role of coaching in your life and in your leadership to help you to refine that character and to be more like Christ.

speaker-1: What a great question. Well, let me let me back up. The coaching world is still a little new to me in terms of I I first experienced my first coach seven years ago. And it like kid in the candy store, right? I mean, if if you find the right one, not only do do they care about you. It's not just a a transaction, right? But they actually care enough to ask you deeper probing questions, to give you ⁓ steps, or actually you're giving yourself action steps. They're just holding you accountable by giving you timelines to achieve said goal in. It be life changing. Now I've also been in in times of my ⁓ journey I've had more than one. And is that good? It can be. The challenge in it you have too many voices speaking into your ear. And it's ⁓ easy be swayed the voices instead of what God's putting on your heart. Does that make sense?

speaker-0: Makes perfect sense because know, in in ⁓ and leadership, we tend to overcomplicate things. I know I do. My husband tells me that on the regular. I'll ask him a question and he'll look at me and he'll say, Man, you really have a way of complicating things. It's just not that hard, Brandy. ⁓ he keeps me honest, right? He keeps me humble. But it's simple. When you stop and you think we have to first love God and then love other people and then serve all. It's that simple. But life gets noisy. And the more people you have in your ear, the noisier it becomes. But as you said, if you have a good coach, if you have a coach where there's a good fit, alignment is everything, your values match. you're very clear on where you're going, what you want, what that vision is, that person can really hold you accountable and help you to move to that next level, whatever that is for you. And I think now a lot of people that I talk to, a lot of leaders that I talk to that feel stuck. That's the word that comes up frequently is they just feel stuck. They don't know how to move past really themselves to get to that next level. And oftentimes it boils down to that mindset piece.

speaker-1: That's huge.

speaker-0: They're in their head.

speaker-1: Yeah, let me let me let me take us back a half a step because you you didn't use this term per se, but I think it's important to add the word to our conversation. And so ⁓ coach would potentially be a part of that healthy circle surrounding us because ⁓ of us achieve success on our own. I think we all agree with that, right? have to you you'd have to be talking to a narcissist to not agree right and it does happen but we we we all need a healthy circle and maybe maybe that's a mentor which is a little different than a coach right maybe that's a best friend maybe that's accountability partner and there there's some overlap in these roles but but typically a healthy circle you know three to five people not to be legalistic about the number right I'm in a seasonal life and and I've learned as I'm vulnerable about this topic. I've I've done a video or two on it it really resonates with people. Your circle ⁓ change. Yeah. Some of that is your choice, and some of it ⁓ ⁓ It's God moving people ⁓ It's you haven't to have ⁓ new boundaries that somebody in the circle's crossed. you have to make that tough decision that you do need to forgive if something's been done. But also trust is different than forgiveness, not to go too far down that road. and I'm in that season of life where God has moved some people ⁓ out the last 60 to 90 days. And it's ⁓ you can caught off guard by it if you're if you're not surrendered to that's gonna be the way it is on your journey. Yeah. That the circle you have now may not be the circle you have in six months, definitely not in six years. You'd be blessed if you have one or two people that remain in that circle for a number of years. And so I I think what I'm trying to communicate is it's important for us to be flexible and surrendered to who God's gonna bring into that circle. And it can be exciting, actually. Like right now, I know that He's gonna bring two or three new people in my circle. I I'm I'm being cautious in discerning on who that's gonna be, but open to who that might be. I I hope that makes sense and adds to what you're trying to say.

speaker-0: And and I think that sometimes we look at that change as a negative when in fact can be very positive. We may outgrow certain people in our life. And ⁓ if that happens, it's not a a negative thing for us the people that we've outgrown. It's just indicative of the fact that we are all going to grow and change through the course of our adult lives. that is something we should welcome.

speaker-1: That's right. And and and if it is coach specifically, if they're a good one, they will even tell you you've outgrown me. You're ready for what's next. Yep. ⁓ and not be offended by that. Be happy for you for that.

speaker-0: ⁓ kind of leads into the next question, Steve, because when ⁓ we're talking about a of coaches are also speakers and authors ⁓ and powerful communicators. So when think about communication as a skill, ⁓ what role ⁓ does that in building the the habits to produce confidence and clarity and purpose in your life.

speaker-1: Hmm. I gotta make sure I understand the question. So as a communicator, what what role does that play in my life or or how how do how do I influence others with communication?

speaker-0: Yeah, talk to me about the habits you ⁓ in your daily life to affect other people.

speaker-1: Okay, great, great question. And I'm gonna preface this by saying the answer I'm about to give, I need to improve on it myself and be more consistent with it. ⁓ But I'm doing well, I find that it's because I'm I'm doing some things early in the morning that have an impact on the rest of my day. And I think about I think about that even from a faith perspective. I for I forgot who the quote's from, but it's like this this is in reference to ⁓ reading your Bible, which I'm just gonna talk about ever so briefly here in a second. But you don't go if if you're a musician, you don't go to the concert and play your concert and then tune your instrument afterwards. Right. I was like, that's so powerful, right? But I also don't want to come across as legalistic. I think anytime you can get the word of God in, it's a good thing. I do I do enjoy reading the scriptures, doing a devo in the morning. I do enjoy doing some mindset work. I I some folks may think this is ⁓ a cheesy, but I had someone when I was doing mindset work, deep mindset work about a year ago, challenge me to look in the mirror. And no distractions, just nope just close the door and look in the mirror, look myself in the eyes and tell myself how much I love myself and how worthy I am. Yeah. And I I I know that even gets a little some Christians think that's a little out there. but we tend to go the opposite direction in 2026. ⁓ it's like the the the pendulum has gone the other way. As far as our self-esteem and lack of self-love and limited thinking and all that mindset is huge. Let me let me get back here to the to the mirror exercise. Right. So they said when you do that for the first time, don't be surprised if it's in a very emotional experience for you. they weren't kidding. And and I still need to do it more. I've only done it a handful of times. I need to be doing it. A couple of times, if not more weekly. But there are some even though statements. I'll give you an example. ⁓ I'm trying to think of a topic. Let's let's let's talk finances for just a second. How even though statements, here's what they do. though my finances are not where I want them to be right. I'm working harder all the time to make wiser decisions and trusting God that there'll be a blessing in that area. Yeah. Okay, so what have I done there? I've not denied the reality that my finances need work by using the even though. We we sometimes we think, well, just don't even talk about the negative. ⁓ I don't know if that solves anything. So we're acknowledging the elephant in the room, but we're not ending there. We're ending it with a positive, hopefully. response and where we end is more powerful than where we begin. So it's it's it's mindset work like that that I like to do.

speaker-0: And it's a simple reframe. It is really what you're talking about there, Stephen. You know, you do a lot of ⁓ ⁓ the area of this mindset piece ⁓ positive psychology, ⁓ you gonna find that we were created, our brains were created to attract we focus on. And a very simple way to look at that is think about when the last time you went and bought a vehicle. And let's say that you bought a red Ford pickup truck. You didn't see any red Ford pickup trucks before you bought that red Ford pickup truck, which is why you bought that red Ford pickup truck. But now they're everywhere. Whatever you focus on. That's what you're going to grow. And we miss that. Somehow in life we miss that. And if we could just accept the fact that that's how we were created, that's how life works, and utilize that to our advantage, I think we would be healthier, happier human beings.

speaker-1: That's so good, Brandy. I'm I'm thinking of ⁓ yeah, I'm thinking of the red pickup truck now. But I've I'm I'm thinking of something else too. And this kind of circles back to why we need one another. just use the red pickup truck for a second, even though it's not a ⁓ vital issue, right? It's transportation, but we could become focused, fixated on that red pickup truck. Well, I would have known everybody has one, I would have bought a different color or I would have bought a different kind. And so suddenly what's happening with that, if you keep, if you keep telling yourself that, is seeps And I just talking to a friend of mine the other day, and you know, I was helping him to see the choice he needed to make along the lines of gratitude for a situation he's going through. But then I was thinking, you know what? He helps me see that all the time. It's so easy to give that advice and see it clearly in somebody else's life, but we have such blind spots in our own. That's why we need those folks in our circle to help us with those blind spots and make better decisions, right?

speaker-0: One hundred percent. And you know, I've heard it said many times, we judge ourselves based on our intentions and we judge other people based on their behavior. And sometimes we need to get those those blinders off and we really need to try to see the other person's perspective. And and that can be hard, it can be challenging, but if we're leading with love. And we're leading with hope, it makes it just a little bit easier because it's a choice. It's not wishful thinking, it's not toxic positivity, it's a choice. And we can choose to focus on what we don't have, what's lacking, what we want, ⁓ can focus on the good, on things in this life that we're grateful for. ⁓ And a lot of science out there that that you know points. To the fact that if you do that, if you focus on gratitude consistently, it will literally rewire your brain and it will help you to become a more positive, optimistic person.

speaker-1: Well I yeah, you you don't want you don't want to open the door to gratitude. I'll talk the rest of the time on gratitude. I love that topic for sure. And and it is a choice. It is a decision. Absolutely.

speaker-0: It is. It absolutely is. And you know, I think that makes me think about when we were kids, you know, what did you love to do, Steve, when you were a kid? kids, it's easier to be positive and to be optimistic. As kids it's easier to dream. You know, we had big I had big dreams when I was a kid. Maybe you did too. but as we get older and older that skepticism seeps in ⁓ and kinda lose sight of those dreams and maybe get a little bit adrift in our life. Which makes us feel a little stuck at times. And so kind of coming full circle with this question, Steve, do you have any big dreams right now? Things that you're really working on?

speaker-1: I definitely do. And and I I I'm thinking back to your about childhood. I've I used to know the stat off the top of my head, but there's a a ⁓ eye-opening stat about how many times mom and dad say yes ⁓ their kids versus how many times they say no or a variation of don't do this, don't do that. And that's all going into programming. Now, some of it's smart, right? Don't don't touch the light socket. Don't touch the stove. I mean, we get it, right? we do stop dreaming somewhere along the way, I think, and responsibilities and bills and parenting and all that comes in there. I I've I've got some huge dreams right now. I'm trying to get on spages stages to do more public speaking. I've got some coaching programs that that are in development. I've got a school program that's in development, ⁓ and things do excite me very, very much. some of them are further along the you know, down the down the road than others. but those those are things that light me up even at 57 years old. I I I said a prayer to God a couple years ago. I said You know, Lord, if you're gonna have me around by your grace for another 25 years or so, I say, can can you me dream again and teach me how to work smarter, not harder? Yeah, and ⁓ back to that, back to that patience thing you and I talked about. ⁓ think I'm definitely in the throes of him answering some of those. Yeah. but I but I equate it to ⁓ the same friend that I talking to you about just a minute ago about blind spots. We we have this little saying among each other about in in heaven there are no microwaves, crock pots. Yeah. And and and and sometimes I have to ask God, can you check to make sure mine's plugged in at least? but but then our other other joke is God's baking cookies. And he's baking our favorite cookies, and he's he's wait. To give you and I our cookies, our favorite cookies. But what do we like to do as kids, right? We like to go sit in front of the oven and we hit the light on and off, right? Or if we're being honest, we want to whiff, we want to smell it, and we open the oven door and that slows the process down. And so I'm like a kid sometimes. I want to know what he's working on. And and and and there's no this is just my opinion.

speaker-0: Yes.

speaker-1: Sometimes I think he doesn't answer because he's working so hard to get it done for us. And there's so much involved with that because he's moving all the pieces and all the people around to do that. And that maybe in his excitement, I forgot to get back with you on that, Steve. I was working hard on it. Yeah. Obviously that's not scriptural, but ⁓ that that's that's my view of God.

speaker-0: Yeah. No, that's good. And I think it's it's good we are childlike at times, you know, childlike in terms of being curious and dreaming ⁓ drawing to the father, relying on father unconditionally, you know, as I didn't question my dad, just trusted him. We need to be more childlike at times. I think there's a lot of wisdom in that. like you said before, we can't just gloss over the negative. I mean, right now our world, there's a lot of hopeless people. Mental health issues are high and they're on the rise. And sometimes it's hard to find hope. ⁓ And that's why I like this question. Steve, right now in the world, what is giving you hope?

speaker-1: Well, obviously my faith gives me hope. I have been in some severe wilderness seasons. God always come through for me. my family is going through an intense situation as I speak you with a family member that's near and dear to us. And it's and it's one of those seasons that it's not gonna be over with. In a week or two. It's gonna be a prolonged season, more than likely. I hang on to Jesus. And I people this all the time. do you like all of Jesus' promises? And people usually say yes without thinking about that. And it's like, you like the one where he says you will have trouble? ⁓ And we don't that one. But he did not promise us that we would get through without trouble. He promised.

speaker-0: Thank you.

speaker-1: Promised he would be with us in the trouble. He's with us in the boat. if you're listening to this, I also want to encourage you with this. Wherever you're at on the journey, if you're on the mountaintop, come share your experience with us because we need to feed off that encouragement that you have right now. ⁓ if you're in a, it's Tuesday, it's mid-May, okay. We all have seasons like that too, right? But I really want to communicate to whoever may be watching this that's really in a low season and looking for hope. Whatever season you're in, I want to encourage you. It's just a chapter. Your whole book is not written yet. Some of your best days are still in front of you. And so be encouraged that that chapter, it's going to help you grow and it's going to put you in a position to help. somebody else through the experiences that you gained through it. I know you don't feel that right now, but it's true. And your story's not over yet. It's just a chapter.

speaker-0: That's good. I like that. And you know, that makes me think of another promise that he gives me. And you kind of touched on the tip of the iceberg there. But he tells us in his word that yes, we will have trouble, but he has overcome. He has the victory. And not only does he have the victory, but he's going to take that trouble. And he's going to use it for the good of those who love the Lord and are called in accordance to his purpose. Romans 8 28. He's going to use it all. little bit of it. And so ⁓ Steve said, if you are feeling discouraged today, rest assured. We know who wins in the end. And he has the victory.

speaker-1: So true.

speaker-0: Hmm. Wow. That gave me goosebumps, Steve. Mm. So good. So, Steve, as We are finishing out this episode of the Lead with Hope podcast today. If a listener wants to get in touch with you, wants to talk to you about your story, wants to learn a little bit more about what's on the wall behind you in your office, you are worthy network, how would they get in touch with you? And I would be remiss if I didn't give you an opportunity to share about the You Are Worthy Network.

speaker-1: Well, Brandy, first of all, let me let me say to your viewers before I tell you how to get in touch with me, I do want to hear your story. I love hearing people's stories because they give me inspiration. They give me hope. Yeah. Because you're still fighting. And so I love would love for you to reach out and tell me your story. I'm easy to get a hold of on social media. There's not too many wormers in the world, trust me. you can find me. It's www.stevewarmer dot com. I'm over Facebook, LinkedIn, YouTube, ⁓ all under my name. book a call with me and we can sit down and ⁓ I I drink mostly water this time of day, but ⁓ we can have virtual coffee ⁓ ⁓ get know each other. The URWorthy network was something that I started not even a year ago and we we've touched on it just a tad. It was mindset work I was doing the last year, year and a half, and this word unworthy kept popping up. And I knew it wasn't true. I also knew the origin, but like a lot of things in life, we know it here, but had problems getting it here that I was worthy. And when finally busted through some of that limited thinking, I said, I've to help. Do my part. Do my part to help other people with it. And I was looking at launching a traditional podcast and I had tabled it. And I said, a private Facebook group, because somebody had interviewed me inside her private Facebook group. This is the way to do it. So what I do on the URWorthy Network is I interview entrepreneurs and leaders. If you're listening to this and think it's elitism, it's not because the reason I interview them is because they have a lot of success stories. But we don't just talk about their highlights. We also talk about what they've overcome and their bouts of unworthiness. And I can promise you when I'm on a Discovery Zoom, because I always do that before I interview somebody, I said, my interviews are totally not scripted except for one question. And that is tell me about a time in your life when you didn't feel worthy of love, respect, and success. And every single time I either get an eye roll. I get a head going down, I get a head shake, or ⁓ my gosh, there's so many to tell. We're all going through this journey together, and we all have had seasons of times of where we've had to overcome our own unworthiness. And so I put that in there to show the viewer that even these successful people go through things just like we all do. And that resonates with them. And and God has grown that group from zero in August August fifth, two thousand and twenty five, to later today it should cross over fourteen thousand people. God has done that. So it's resonating somewhere.

speaker-0: is awesome. And it really resonates with me. I was a guest on your show several months ago, and ⁓ just last I was at a speaker's event. And you know, speakers that were sharing their story on the stage ⁓ that felt unworthy. dentists, ⁓ lawyers, people we see as successful, but we only see the highlight real. You know, in this fast-paced world that we're living in with all the noise and all the filters, all we're seeing is the highlight reel. You don't see what it takes to get there. You don't see the pain that they have pushed through and turned into purpose. only see the highlight real. So just know, listener, if you are feeling unworthy today, you are worthy. And I would encourage you to tune in and and check out that Facebook group and learn more about the work that Steve is doing with the You Are Worthy Network.

speaker-1: Can can I share one story with you, Brandy, before we go? Yes. And and and Brandy was a guest and did a great job. And you can you can go to our YouTube channel, You Are Worthy Network, and see Brandy's interview ⁓ maybe four or five months ago, but you should be able to find her easy. had the honor of interviewing ⁓ a lady from the Midwest, about that ⁓ just right before you, Brandy. And she been ⁓ a contestant on the CBS show ⁓ Survivor. she had done really, really well and it gotten to the very end. ⁓ the she was it was her and two guys left. And the two guys voted her off because they knew she was a threat to win it all. And told me ⁓ that she had had a meltdown on national TV. Cause, you know, ⁓ most that she told me most of that is actually real, what they're enduring on on Survivor. And the point of the story I want to tell you is as she was flying back home from Nicaragua, she got back home. I think she's well, she's from the Midwest. And when she got off the plane, she had voicemails, and they kept coming the next couple of days. And who were those voicemails specifically from? They were from all kinds of organizations ⁓ her to tell her story as a keynote speaker. And she ignored those voicemails for about two weeks. her friends are like nudging her, what are you doing? And she's like, I'm terrified. And she eventually returned those voicemails and has been traveling the world for the last 16 years as a well-known speaker. Her chapter was not over. Right. ⁓ And tell you that because she stepped into something beyond. what she thought she was worthy of beyond her self doubt, her limited thinking. And look how the Lord blessed it. He can he's waiting he's waiting to do that for all of us.

speaker-0: Absolutely. Powerful stuff, Steve. Powerful stuff. I appreciate you coming on this show ⁓ today. I look forward to staying in contact with you and seeing what the Lord does in your life. So again, thanks for being on the show ⁓ and I talk to you later.

speaker-1: Brandy, you're a treasurer. Thank you so much for having me.