Let Me Be Clear: Leadership is a Mindset

0:05 Welcome to Clear is the new Confident. I'm Casey Watts, speaker, author and the host of this show. If we haven't met yet, there was one important thing you need to do, and that is I am completely obsessed with clarity. I've seen too many brilliant women stay silent or feel stuck because they didn't have the tools and strategies to be courageous. If you are ready to stop second guessing yourself, say the things that need to be said, and stand firm in your integrity, you are in the right place. I am on a mission to spread the message that clarity precedes capacity, helping you lead those around you with great courage and confidence. Now, with all of that said, let's dive into today's episode and gain some clarity.

1:08 Hi everybody, welcome to today's episode. I am joined with Joyce Connelly Hemmings and we are going to have a let me be clear episode and drop some truths on you guys. OK. And so I am super excited to have you. Joyce, will you start by telling us a little bit about who you are in the work that you do? Sure, and I'm excited to be here, Casey. I know we went live. Like what, over 3-4 years ago when we started this journey. And I'm really excited to be here on your clearance, to be confident and to share, you know, just where I am now four years ago. So I am Joyce Conley Hemmings and I am an educator, current principal.

1:55 So I have been in education for 17 years and I have to recalculate all the time because you just lose count, right? So I've been in education for 17 years. I have been a teacher, instructional coach, assistant principal, now principal and currently on this journey, I am an author. So and now I add that to my resume. I am an author and podcast host myself. So it's that's where I am. And in my journey, I've learned a lot. I've learned a lot. So a lot of my focus is on assistant principals, aspiring and assistant principals because I spent seven years as one. And so I understand what it's like moving from instructional to administration.

2:41 And so that's where my passion is. And so I'm here with you today and I can't wait to talk more. About all that, yeah, this is going to be a really good conversation. I already have a couple of questions like specifically around why you're choosing assistant principal as your target audience or focus. But before we dive into that, so we can do this one of two ways. And I feel like actually, if we drop the Let Me Be Clear statement, it's going to segue right into talking about your book in the podcast. So what are they on these episodes? I like to start with that. I have guests. I like to ask, if you were going to drop a Let Me Be Clear statement, how would you finish that? Off OK, so this is pretty much the foundation of my work. Let me be clear.

3:31 Training builds skills. Mindset determines whether that becomes leadership. OK. And can you say it one more time? Yes, let me be clear. Training builds skills. Mindset determines whether it becomes leadership. I love it. Now let's take that and unpack it a little bit. So it's so interesting and this is the perfect timing for this episode because last week I dropped an episode that was very similar or somewhat around this topic. And so I'm excited to dive even deeper because I know that this is your focus and this is probably where a lot of the book content and your podcast stems from. So when you say training, build skills, mindset determines whether it becomes leadership, what does that mean for some, for just the average person?

4:24 For the average person, it means this. I am, I have 17 years of experience, right? So let's say I am well versed. I've been in training. You get trainings every year. We're walking into the trainings together, we're walking into the trainings, receiving the same content. I'm hearing what you're hearing. However, I might walk out of that training and implement it in a different way, receive it in a different way, reject it in a different way. So that's where the mindset comes in, sitting in that gap of OK, now what do I do to move that training, what I just learned and impact. If you don't have your mindset ready to go and able to combat all of the other things that are coming at you and leadership, that training was pointless, right?

5:14 It was pointless. It's like an Etch A Sketch. I like to say that to teachers all the time, right? When you have a child who misbehaves one day, the next day it's an Etch A Sketch. It's the same thought process. If you don't have clarity and, and focus on your mindset and how you're going to navigate all of the things that you're going to have to face, you're not going to learn, you're not going to use those skills. They're just going to be out. But for the next person who has their mindset in check, you know, they're able to combat all of the things that we deal with on a regular basis. They're going to be able to take the training and implement it and receive it in a different way. And I know that that's not necessarily always black and white.

5:55 So people don't they, they kind of step away from mindset because it's like, there's no, I, you can't necessarily measure it, but we know that it has a positive or negative impact. So that's that's layman's terms. And you wrote a whole book about this and it's called The Unspoken Mindset, right? And you, you also have the podcast The Unspoken Mindset. So your focus is very much on mindset. What made you decide to move in that direction? Like why is that your focus? That's a very good question. So I have had a platform for a system principal for about four years, right? And online.

6:40 So I've done different training, provided some resources and I asked the question. I asked them, what do you want from me? I ask it almost every year. What do you want from me? What more can I provide for you? A lot of them say I want, I want the checklist, I want the handbook. I want somebody to give me the handbook. Yeah. But my handbook is not going to be your handbook and it's not going to be the next person's handbook because we have district policies. We have different different tools that we're having to use, different platforms, platforms that we're having to use and utilize. So I said, all right, what is going to truly help 1 aspiring and current assistant principles?

7:23 But honestly, any leader that is in leadership right now, whether you're five years in, 20 years in mindset is something that is up and down, in and out, depending on your experiences, depending on the time of the year, depending on the school that you're in, it's always something that you have to review and reflect on. So I'm always about how can I impact the masses, not just give you a handbook and hope that you do something with it. Yeah, there's some out there that I, you know, I have a manual for mentors, but that's only going to be good for some people.

8:05 Mindset is everyone, everyone. I don't care who you are, where you've been, what you're doing right now, you always have to reflect on your mindset. Yeah. And if we look at the more tangible things like a handbook or a checklist or any kind of PDF downloadable thing, it's not only going to be utilized in different ways by different people, but it's also going to be short lived. Like things are constantly changing and that makes your mindset and your approach to working on your mindset so much more significant. Especially, especially because I love the way that you said if we want to impact the masses, right? Like the only way to do that.

8:52 And I like to think of like Liz Wiseman's work where we think about creating or becoming multipliers. We're not necessarily multiplying ourselves. We don't want to multiply ourselves, but we want to help people multiply their own native geniuses and intelligences. Well, that happens through mindset. So I want to know it like when someone opens the book or they listen to your podcast, what are going to be some of the key things that they learn about Or like some of your favorite things that you wrote about in the book that you just are like, man, people have to get this from the book if they get nothing else. Yeah. So I love that you said that in the in the book, it starts off with basically it's a survey. And I know it was like, OK, it's a survey and it really tests where your mindset is.

9:46 So I'm asking you questions about how you handle truly impactful parts of leadership. So how do you handle difficult conversations? Because I've done trainings on difficult conversations and everybody needs that. How do we handle that parent that's coming in upset with you or the teacher that is blasting you all over the Internet, right? So I can give you responses, but I need to know where your mindset is. Is that even a place where you need to support? So there is an inventory. That's the word an inventory. And it's also on my website. So you can go and check and see where are my mindset gaps. I think that that's extremely powerful because it will navigate where you need to start. And when you read books, sometimes it's like, I don't get where this is applicable to me until Chapter 4. However, with my book, the way that I designed it, you can start at Chapter 4 because that's what you need in that moment.

10:42 And then if you pick up the book in August, if you do the inventory, you may start at Chapter 2. But in January, if you do that inventory again, you may be on Chapter 6 and it's just a matter of where you are in that moment. So, and I don't know why I did that. I, I'm big on like, I need this to be purposeful for me and I'm not necessarily a huge reader already. So I need to read books that are going to keep my attention. Yeah. So I wanted it to be something that I would want to pick up and say, hey, you know what? I only have 5 minutes today. What are my? What am I going to spend my time? Yeah. Can you give us a sneak peek into the table of contents? Yeah, like, just hold it up.

11:25 Sure. OK, well, here's the book. It's beautiful. It's so funny because when I was designing the book, the my publisher, our publisher came up with a few designs and colors. And I'm big on blue, like blue is my color. So my math coach, she'll probably watch this later. She starts Googling the impact of colors and how it will people will respond. So we landed on this. Wow. Either credit or discredit her. I don't know. I love her. So let's see, yes, good. So this is the survey, so the inventory. So you literally are going through and you're tallying where you land on different domains that are going to then target where you start your reading.

12:09 You can read this linearly, but you don't have to. So I do talk a little bit about my experiences because I do think that it matters in the my experiences so that you can see where and why, how I started my position and my journey because my journey was challenging, right? Going into being an assistant principal, I started one way and ended another. So I talk about that a little bit. So we talk about mindset shaping training, right? So that's literally chapter 0. I made it that because I wanted people to kind of start there.

12:52 Yeah, we talk about being ready or how readiness is an illusion. I think I talked about that on podcast episode 1 because I think it's a big one in leadership to yourself. We're good. OK, so yeah, absolutely. I love it. OK, tell me, when people read your book, what do you feel like? Which chapters do you feel like they are most drawn to if there were like 2 that you were to pick out? OK, good question. If there were two that I would pick out and I'm thinking about to just where I am and leadership and some of the assistant principles that are around me. One is the relationship boundary. I actually saw someone as well asking about that because that's huge when we're moving into administration. How do you establish boundaries but also build relationships at the same time?

13:40 And I've worked with an assistant principal. I think I talk about this in the book. Yes, who was moving from 1 teacher level to administrative level level in the same school. So that one's a good one. Just by the title. The fix it fallacy that was right about. That. I know I had someone pick up the book. It was like, Oh my gosh, I'm reading that one first. So I'm a fixer. It's part of why I got into the position. I'm on Year 3 as a principal and I am in, I am just feeling like very comfortably, I don't have to fix everything. Yeah, fix when you don't.

14:25 And I say that out loud all the time. I coach it and I preach it and I teach it. But I, I also have to remind myself I don't have to fix everything. That is not reality. Just because you're in the position that you're in. You're a principal and an assistant principal. You don't have to fix everything. That's not going to help other people to get better. And we're all about right, impacting the masses and building up leaders and, you know, affected teachers. So we have to learn that, but it's hard. It's so hard when you find yourself in that position. So, you know, you said training builds skills, mindset determines whether it becomes leadership.

15:08 All of those things that you've written in your book, like people can get trained on those things. But from what I'm hearing you say, it's these things have to be practiced. So like, if I read your book, I'm reading a chapter that, yes, may resonate with me, but it's something that I need to practice. Like for you, you need to practice that fix it fallacy, right? And, and it's like constantly shaping your mindset to see things differently. Yes. Did you read the book? Yeah. I mean, you read the back. I know you did because on the back from one, the first step is being aware. It's being aware, and that's another reason why the inventory is so powerful, because it makes you aware of where your mindset gaps are.

15:54 And then it's a cyclical process, right? So you're aware and then you have to unlearn behaviors. OK. When I became an assistant principal, I saw principals doing things a certain way. I started to ask a lot of questions. It took me a while to ask questions though. Now I have no problems asking why, But when you're moving from one position to another, you you hesitate to ask why. So I had to unlearn behaviors that I saw other people doing or those unwritten unspoken rules that are passed down to administrators this generation that we have coming up, the new leaders, they're built different.

16:40 So we have to make sure that we're ready for that, right? On both sides, right? So the veteran leaders, we have to be ready for them. The new leaders, they have to be ready for what is expected of them. And that's mindset. So, and then the last part, of course, of anything that we do after the cycle, we're reflecting, right? What do I need to do to change? What do I need to now shape that mindset to where I'm making more of a positive impact? So it is a cyclical process. Yeah, yeah. I OK, there's a direction that I want to go, but it might take us a little bit off. It's going to sound like it's taking us off off track, but it's really not. It's all connected, I promise.

17:24 But you before I get there, you we talked about your focus on assistant principals. And when I think about assistant principals and I think about many of the women who are listening to this podcast episode, so many of them are in this like supportive role where they find that they are leaders. Everyone leads someone. So let's make that clear. Everyone leads someone. But sometimes we're put in these, especially if you're a high achiever, you're put in this middle level supportive role. And then also given tasks that are more authoritative, right, where you do you, they were expected to have more authority.

18:13 I'm just curious, what made you pinpoint assistant principals? Is that part of the reason? Absolutely 100. And that's hard, yes. It is very hard and I would like to say I've been fortunate in my experiences with the leaders that I've worked under, but it wasn't always teachers in Creed. That's just reality. You have to learn how to manage up is what they say, right? So and now as a principal who has an assistant principal, my lens is even more targeted because I'm reflecting on, OK, did I was I like that or did my principal do that? Or I want to make sure that I'm not doing the things that I remember, big or small, that were hard for me as a leader. No one's perfect though, right?

19:04 No one's perfect. So, but I'm still growing when it comes to the principle. And so I, I have the tools, the knowledge, the experiences and I, I know what that's like. I was talking to someone in our training the other day and he asked me, well, we were in a meeting. He's one of an AP in my district. And he was, he listens who he follows and he's like, where do you get all of this information, this knowledge? And I said experience. I was fortunate to be in the ethical principal role with and three schools, three different, four different leaders and for seven.

19:45 Years, right? So that we spot and now having the experience on the other side as a principal, I just want to be of support and help. And I also will say KC that in my district, we're a very, very large district. At the time when I was becoming assistant principal, we didn't have any support. There was nothing that was. Put together, organized, I didn't have a a mentor, I didn't have a coach. And so now that I see those things are happening, there are way too many districts, like way too many that don't have something.

20:26 And so that's my focus is to bring training, but training that's going to impact for sustainability existence because we are not targeting our APS. Enough period. Yeah, preparing. Them enough? And I would say I don't, I don't know that I agree with what I'm about to say. I do agree with what I'm about to say. And then also there's caveat to that. So I want to say it may be even more important for someone in a supportive role to work through mindsets. Yes, or as important, maybe as important is the right is the right verbiage there because there it's so like working with someone who is in a leadership role that you were trying to support can can be so complex because we're working with complex human beings.

21:26 So you're working with the leader to try to communicate their vision and can and follow through with what they want the action plans to be, while also working with all of these other complex adults who you're trying to bring on board. 100% it is. I I moving from AP to principal was very hard on me when it when it came to like I didn't realize. So as great of an API was, I didn't realize the pressures of becoming a principal. However, I can say that being an assistant principal, especially when you're in a position where you and the principal aren't always seeing eye to eye, you don't work very smoothly together.

22:12 You're not as cohesive as you could be. It is a hard place to be. It really, really is. And you don't know, you don't always have people you can talk to. And I know they say like, oh, it's lonely at the top. Yes, it's lonely at the top and the principal is lonely too and everything like that. But you're in that space where you aren't the final decision maker, but you're tasked with being the a person that everybody's going to. So how do you navigate that? It's hard. It is very hard. And if you don't have your mind set ready, you're going to be like me because I talk about this a lot, ready to quit.

22:56 I was about to quit after during my first year, I was about to quit. I was done. I was like, I'm not doing this. She's don't listen to me. What she was listen to me. Now in hindsight, 2020, I'm like, OK, well, probably could have done some better. But you know, in my head I'm like, Oh my God, nothing I can do what's good enough. And you know, she wants me to be perfect. I don't even know what I'm doing. Nobody told me. OK, stupid, right. I was able to say, OK, take a brief breath. It's not you. It's it's the thing, right? Yeah, You are capable. You can do this. And it's not just that simple. There's a lot more to it, but it can be that simple too. Yeah. It really.

23:36 Yeah, Yeah. Yeah. OK. Yeah, any, any supportive role, I feel like is even a teacher leader, even someone who is, you know, wanting to strive to to lead the people around them. It can be challenging. OK, so we're going to start to come to a close with this episode. But before we do, oh, the thing that I wanted to put up that might take us on a tangent, but I really don't think it will. And I'm curious when I say this, you're going to remember what I'm talking about. And I want to know if there's somewhere in your somewhere in your book that you feel like kind of addresses this. Do you remember?

24:22 It had to have been. I mean, it's been years since you've posted this, but there was a post one time. It was a video of. You and you were talking about how you used to wear your hair straight and then you decided, no, I'm going natural. I'm going to do curly. And here's why I really want you to tell that story and how like where your mindset was with that, since we're talking about mindset here. Oh I love. That I love that because it, it does like it's my thing and it's still in the back of my mind, right? Every day. Like when we got on the call, what did I do first? Like right? Get it together. Get it together when I say get it, girl. Oh yes, Oh, let.

25:05 Me get these together OK so. And that's the. Thing all right, so I don't know where it started as a child, but I started straightening my hair I think 5th grade and I thought that straight hair was more polished, right? So anytime I had to be in front of anyone, I had to go on an interview. I knew someone was coming to my class to observe me. Anytime that I was in a professional setting or I had to exhibit professionalism outwardly, I would straighten my hair because I felt that curly hair was not professional. And I became a principal.

25:53 And up until that I was in and out. Every blue moon I would wear my hair curly but for the most part I was straight. I became a principal I October so I started in July. I did my meet and greet with straight hair. I looked back I'm like Oh my hair looks pretty that's nice. Why am I straightening my hair? Why do I feel like I am not professional or polished enough because I have curly hair? Absolutely not I'm done. I haven't straightened my oh I did once this year but it was for like 2 days. I was done. I couldn't do it. I couldn't, I said, you know what? I no matter where I go, how my hair looks, if it's curly, if it's in a bun, whatever it is, as long as I'm feeling good, I'm already bringing the knowledge, bringing the tools, bringing the skills.

26:38 My hair is just, it doesn't define me. It is, it is me. It's who I am. So it's like I'm done. If I straighten my hair, it's just because I felt like it that day. But it probably won't last long. But it did take a mindset shift for me and I'm older. OK, so that was year 30 plus years of thinking that way. And I just, I don't know, I, I just stopped. I stopped and now here we are. This is what you get, yeah. And I. Love it. I love your hair so much. And I think you also posted like the part of that post was there was a little girl who was like, your hair is like mine.

27:18 And it was like. Gave her the. Opportunity to embrace it? Absolutely. And that's one of those things that I think is important for us to be confident in ourselves. You know, you love that confidence, right? Be confident who we are because the children are watching us and we don't have to conform to anything, right? Especially if we don't believe in it, right? It's not who you are to the core. Do what you need to do to be who you are. And that was me turning curly. And it was a little girl who said you're beautiful, your hair is so pretty. And I'm like, Oh my God, thank you. You look like me. You know, my hair is like mine, so yeah. I love that so much, but just I when you post it, that's one of my very favorite posts that you've ever posted.

28:04 You might go back, you might go back. I'm going to go back and. Repost it. Repost it. And say, yeah, we were talking about mindset. This is and it, and I think it's a testament to to how mindset work is continuous. Like it doesn't, it does not ever stop. And that's one of the, the powerful things about this podcast episode and your book and your podcast, which everybody will be LinkedIn the show notes. So you can go and check that out. But the important thing about it is I love how you said mindset determines whether it becomes leadership. Leadership is not a, it's not necessarily a title or a position. It is a mindset. It is a way of being. And so there's only so much training you can do. To.

28:47 Support yourself as a leader. So thank you so much for this conversation. OK? Tell people where they can find you if they want to connect with you after this episode. Wonderful. So my website is the unspokenmindset.com so you can go there, but I am Most of my socials are Joyce under score the unspoken mindset or Google. Yeah. And then the book is on Amazon. So I would love for you to pick it up. I have gotten some great feedback on the book, especially for aspiring and new leaders. And someone say like this is for every new leader. It really will help you to prepare for this school year.

29:30 So that is on Amazon. The unspoken mindset, what no one tells you about school leadership because that's what I do. I bring the little Nuggets. I like to keep it real. You know how I've been like this? Like I'm gonna tell you can tell you everything. I'm gonna tell you a lot. I'll tell you the things no one told me. Yes, absolutely. OK, Joyce, thank you for coming on guys. Be sure to go to the show notes, get the book, go to our podcast, go to our website and be on the lookout because I know Joyce has some things up her sleeve for I Do I. Always supporting people. This one is coming. Yes, it is. Please. Yeah. OK. All right, guys, we will catch you in the next episode. Bye, everybody.

30:12 Bye, guys. Hey listener I. Am so honored that you listen to today's episode and I hope you gained something valuable from it. I'd also be honored if you did ME3 solid favors. First, subscribe to this show. I've got a lot of great content coming up, and I don't want you to miss any of it. Second, be sure you're following me on social media platforms. You can find me at. Catch up with Casey on LinkedIn or Instagram. And finally, if you were looking to book a dynamic and relatable speaker for your next event, conference, or retreat, I would love to bring a message about how the crash of clarity makes a significant impact on both leadership and life. Until next time, always remember dirty recruits capacity.