More Than Your Business Card with Carley Crose

0:03 I'm predicting that if you're listening to this podcast, you are likely a high achiever and you may be also experienced, second guessing and people pleasing. And you 100% are eager to make an impact on the people around you. And that is the reason for this podcast. I am Casey Watts, host of The Clears, the new confident podcast speaker, author and brain coach. And I am on a mission to empower 50,000 women to Createspace for Confidence so they can stop second guessing, say what needs to be said, and lead by influence, not authority. And I believe that starts with clarity. Clarity about who you are, clarity about how you show up, and clarity about what you want from both work and life. Now, with all that said, let's Createspace for Confidence. Well, hey everybody, welcome to today's podcast episode. I am excited to have a guest with me today. And we're going to be talking about something I think so many of you, if not all of you deal with when you are thinking about your job, your title, your business card. And before we dive into my guest's let me be clear statement, let me introduce our guest. Her name is Carly Crows.

1:33 And actually, Carly, I'm going to let you share a little bit about who you are and the work that you do. Thanks, Casey. I'm excited to be here. My name is Corley Krauss. I'm actually recently the lead program manager for a incentive meeting planning agency. Bish McCann and Nashville resident dog mom also native Texan. So I feel like I carry a lot of titles, but yeah, I make dreams come true for people as my job and travel around the. World Now we have a really unique connection because Corley and I are cousins and we I've never had a family member on the podcast.

2:14 You were my first family member to have SO. Well, it's neat. I know and the way that this have you ever tried? To describe our cousinship like how we're actually, I just stop it cousin, I don't, I don't. I don't know. I was just about which brand. What tree I don't know. Are we first cousins? I think we're second. Cousins, 2nd cousins, or there's some kind of removal situation? So our moms our. Moms are first. Cousins. Our moms are first cousins, which makes us second, second. Cousins, by the way, not on board. Yep. Yep. Again. Titles, yeah. Was it really modern so. You're related? Yeah. If you don't know Corley, like you don't already follow her on social, you got to follow this chick on social media because I was seeing all the places that you travel, but also like the real life.

3:03 Like I am so inspired by your travel and the things that you get to see and the people that you get to work with. It's super, super cool. So definitely follow her on social. Where can they find you on social? Media, my Instagram is pretty much the main one. It's at curly CR pretty easy and that's pretty much my only social. You can find me on LinkedIn. I think it's at curly CR at Curly Kross. That's more business. If you want to see the shenanigans that is my day-to-day life, the travel, the airline delays, the good and the bad of travel, the business travel and also dog mom humbleness that is the the Instagram.

3:44 Yeah, I love it. And I I like to see them. Really. Yeah. OK. So, well, if you were to finish the statement, let me be clear. What might you say? Oh my gosh, if I was going to say, let me be clear, you are more than your business card. OK, dive more into that. You're more than your business card. So just as a person in general, I feel like you go through the like you're a child and then you're a student and then you're a graduate and then you're all these things and you get your first big kid job and you get your first business card and you're like, this is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me. And whatever it is, like, right, Junior, whatever, assistant, whatever.

4:29 And it's like, I remember getting my first business card and being like, I has made it in life. I've made it. This is, I just want to hand up everybody. Yeah. Like a waiter in Chili's. You're just like, here, I don't know if you care, but here and call me. And it's just like, so it becomes like this such a cool thing. And then the greater you get in your career, it's like you're chasing the title and the next promotion and all these things. And then as a woman, you also want these other titles or in like business cards, like you want to be a mom or a wife and a mom and all these things. And for me, that was my dream. I didn't really care about the business card. I got the business card because my dad made me go to college and I was like, well, I'll just get a degree and then graduate and then I'll marry somebody and then carry on about my life. And it's so funny that life is definitely not gone that that way.

5:17 And it's been such a whirlwind of how my life is gone, but it's never been that kind of wife, mom, we'll call it the southern standard of the picket fin when half kids and the dog and whatever. So it's been this more career driven path, which is so funny because that's never what I thought I was going to do. Well, then I was like chasing the title and I was spinning my wheels because I felt like at one point in my life failing at everything, right? I'm not a mom, I'm not a wife. But it must have not a VP or an exec or a this or a senior this. And then I was like, what am I doing? And it took me really longer than it should have been way too long to really get to a place where it was like, it doesn't matter.

6:03 It doesn't matter. Like, and then I realized then I had a couple jobs that were made-up. Like I made-up the title. Like I told them whatever I felt they were like, you can just call yourself whatever you want. And I was like, yeah, but isn't there a there's the rules and it has to be the thing and the org chart And they're like, yeah, what do you want us to call you? And then I was like, all of this is made-up. Yeah. All of it. I'm like, it's just been a really cool revelation. It's like I'm me regardless of what my business card says, regardless of what people call me. Like I'm still me and I still have value innately. And that was a really hard lesson to learn. That's so accepting it.

6:44 Like I, I think I struggle with exactly the same thing. And I was just telling someone the other day, you know, I'm from the education space. And, and it could be the case for you too, or any, any career where it's like you are provided your trajectory, like the, the trajectory that you follow is really the only thing that you've ever known. And it's what's been modeled for you. It's what's been told to you. So for an educator, it's, you are a high achieving classroom teacher. Well, your natural next step is instructional coach. And then your next, next natural step is just on principal principle. And it's like, OK, well, I guess if I'm going to make an impact, then this is the path that I have to follow. And then as a high achiever, you're just constantly striving for that next title because you think it's going to bring meaning and it's going to allow you to make an impact. And then you also realize, wait a minute, and this is the case for me.

7:41 I don't really want that title. Yeah, I know principal is the next thing that I should do. And you have people even telling you, I'm sure you've had this, Carly, where people are like, oh, my gosh, have you thought about being the VP? Have you tried to go for this job? You would be great at da, da, da, da. And I'm like, yeah, Parsley wants to people please and like, go for that because I feel like that's what I'm supposed to do. I don't want it. I don't want that. But then I'm stuck thinking, OK, well, what do I do then in order to make an impact, in order to be, to continue to strive to my maximum capacity? Where, where do I go?

8:21 Have you tell me about your experience with that? Absolutely. So I have always struggled because I didn't follow 1A traditional path. But two, I was never in jobs like you couldn't dress up as me as a kid. Like you. There's not anybody that's like a six year old that's like, I want to be an event planner. Yeah, I want to be a college recruiter. Like those are not costumes you wear for Halloween, You know what I mean? And so it's like I was in a whole world I didn't even know existed until I was in my mid 20s. And now I'm like doing this crazy job in this crazy industry that like no one's ever heard of. But then it's like, well, you have to be a people manager and you have to be at this or that. And I was like, I don't want to do that or you have to go into sales.

9:07 And I was like, don't, don't want that. But then it was like, so he was like, you have to achieve and you want to make everybody happy. But then there's like this false pressure of busyness and then I think our generation, specifically millennials and elder millennials and even and genoxers for sure, it's like we define ourselves with busyness and who's so we're so tired and we're so busy and like I just, I stayed up till midnight doing da da da or I insert 1000 emails or I was on calls for 8 hours today. And it's like, since when is that the brag? Like, yeah. And it's funny, the more you chase the title or the path or whatever, and you don't focus on what you want and like what really makes you happy, the more you just make up stuff to make you busy. Oh my gosh.

9:53 And I noticed that. And especially like if you're in an office and you're like, you got to know, you got to commute and you got to be there early and it's optics and all these things. And you're just kind of chasing this like wild agenda that like nobody assigned you except for your own brain. So when I, when I moved into my business full time, that was one of the things that I struggle with most is OK, I've been accustomed to this nine to five. Now all of a sudden I create my own schedule and I felt, and I still do, I still struggle with this. I feel guilty when I am not working from like the time I drop my boys off to the time they get home.

10:34 It's been such a weird shift to give myself permission to have that flexibility and to not to remember I who am I reporting to accept myself. And I think actually even in my job at in a nine to five, I think sometimes I would fill it with things just to fill it with things because I felt like, let me show everyone how busy I am because with the business comes the credibility. And I remember teachers would say, Oh, I know you're probably so busy. I was like, and what, why? Why is it that I want people to know that I'm busy? Because number one, that doesn't give me more credibility. It doesn't make me more important. And also it it keeps me from allowing space and time for them.

11:23 Do I really want to show up as someone who doesn't have time and space for the people around them? Absolutely not. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah, Yeah. It is crazy. Well, it's like, it's like the old adage, like you can't pour from an empty cup. Yeah, it's like, but we're so busy and then you're like, you don't have any room for yourself or your or what really matters because like most people, if you ask them like, what are the top three most important things in your life? Very few people or at least in my orbit are going to say job, work, whatever. It's going to be, you know, religion, higher power, family, spouse, kids, pets, all these things. And then it's like, oh, and then job and work and all the things which are important, like you have to fund your life. It's not cheap to live here, but it is funny that that takes all of our time and energy and focus a lot of the time, especially when you're on that climb or like the validation from it. And I've had so many friends and I I feel like I give advice like I but I that I need to hear myself. As we all do.

12:30 It's like. Well, I well, should I go for this job or should I do this or I don't want to quit And I'm like, why? It doesn't really matter. You're more than this thing like. Do it. I was at a women's conference on Saturday, and it's a room full of women in higher leadership roles, like executive directors, superintendents, things like that. And one of the things that someone said, and I've heard this before, it's like you're striving for this next thing, this title, this achievement. I've also heard people who are authors talk about this, like, OK, you write the book and you think like this next thing, like that's going to be the thing. That's when I'm going to know that I have made it, that I've reached the peak of my career and it's just going to feel amazing.

13:17 Well, then you reach that thing and all of a sudden it's like, all right, so that I did the thing and it's lasted one day where I said, OK, I made it. I made it to Superintendent. I made it to becoming an author. Now what? Like it's, it feels great for that short period of time, but it doesn't change anyone else's life really. It doesn't really change your life because it is just another thing. And I'm not saying that those things aren't great and exciting things that you shouldn't strive for, but we attach so much to it. And then it gets here and it's like, oh, well, it's not it's great. It's kind of like, you know, a Christmas morning where you hype it up.

14:02 I was. Literally going to let down a Christmas afternoon. You're like, well, all right, Yes, I'm gonna. Clean. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, you, you talked about earlier the time I want to go back to this when you had to create your own title. I'm curious because now I'm I as a consultant I also have the ability to create my own title. Did you find yourself thinking what is the most like either luxurious or important sounding title I can come up with? Yes, absolutely. It was like, how close to the line can I get? That's not false.

14:46 Yeah, like, how powerful can I be without misspeaking? Yeah, I think I was the director of like some engagement and experience or something like that. And I was like, I've never been a director before. I don't even know what director means, but it felt like the next step and it felt and then I think it was I was like an engagement and experience manager. I think I googled like 1000 titles and like what made what was like impressive to me and I was like, how can I spin that? That's accurate. But also like a little bit probably like, we'll call it ambitious like, well, and it's like there's dollar signs attached to it, right?

15:29 In professional life, there's bands, there's salary bands. I was a recruiter for a long time when I was much, much, much younger. But there are salary bands that go with that in companies. And it's like, well, what is going to get me to that next title? What is going to get me in that search bucket? What is going to like kind of level me up? And yeah, I totally did that. It was like, what is the most dramatic, memorable, like powerful title that I can give myself? That's still not a lie. Right, right. What that that's falsifying? Like my experience. Exactly. Yep, 100%. I was in that same boat. Part of that was I was doing it for myself because I wanted to feel like, OK, yeah, I'm credible enough for this position. And it was like almost overcompensation, you know, like I'm overcompensating for the fact that I'm insecure having this role.

16:25 Yeah, there's. Oh, absolutely. Insecurity there. What are some other reasons you feel like women specifically, and I do think it's specifically women, do this. I think it's because we are from a young age and I remember this, I was in a session with my therapist and she was like, it was early on in our journey and she was like, describe yourself. Like, how would you describe yourself to me? And I did it on this podcast. I literally did it as an intern at the podcast. We describe ourselves as titles in the roles we play in other people's lives. So from a very young age, you're a daughter, you're an oldest born, you're a middle child.

17:06 You're you know, you're these things, you're a granddaughter, you're a cousin and aunt, whatever. Then you're like I said, a student, a graduate, like you're all these things. And then when you get to describe yourself, you don't like even when we introduce ourselves, we give our title, we give what we do, like dog, mom, mom, yeah, cousin, whatever. And we don't, it's not who we are. It's not core values that we bring to the table or skills that we bring. It's who the role we play in other people's life and in the world. And I think that's so interesting. And it starts when you're little. Like, it's not like I'm funny, like I'm a hoot. It's like I'm this part, like I'm whatever role you in your life that you want me to be.

17:53 I'm your friend, I'm your sister, I'm whatever. And I don't know why we do it, but I do see women doing it because like little boys are like, I'm strong. I'm, I'm a superhero. I'm all of these things when little girls are like what their role is in the world and not what characteristics they bring to the table. And I think that's really interesting. Yeah, that is super interesting. It when I so I interviewed you for the upcoming book and when I interview women, the one of the last questions is our first questions is what legacy do you want to leave behind or what do you want people to say about you in rooms where you're you're not there. And for so many women, they led that question with a focus on the workplace. And so I had to re reposition them to think about, OK, that's a part of your life, but when you're no longer in this world, we want people in general to say about you. And and it's hard for people to to think about that because they tie themselves so closely to the work that they do, especially high achieving women.

19:04 Absolutely. Who in your life has been someone that you looked up to that you're like, that's the person that I want to be one day. Oh, that's tough. I mean, our queen, Dolly Parton, let's be honest, who doesn't want to look up to her? And but she was such, I feel like she truly is a testament of all the things. She was such a savvy, smart, wickedly smart, ahead of her time businesswoman. And she was so talented as an artist and a musician and a songwriter and all these things. But she was also heart and soul in a family. She was like she never lost herself in the growth. And she sacrificed many times the climb and the title and the things to to hold true to her roots and not selling, selling out and selling songs like I love the story about. I will always love you.

20:04 And Elvis wanted to cover it. And she wasn't going to give away her rights to the song. And his camp wanted them to just give it all away. And she was like, absolutely not. And she held onto it. And then I mean, that's literally one of the most famous and monetarily valuable songs that she ever wrote. So I think Dolly in like my big in the global world, in my orbit. I've had so many powerful women leaders in my career that are more than just their title. And it was like, I've never seen that before. So like early on in my career, I mean, my dad works, my mom stayed home. Then you see a lot of male leadership, especially at the executive level.

20:49 And then I got into my own career and I've been so fortunate to have executive leadership on the female side. Honestly, more often than I had direct reports or direct leaders that were men. And so I could list them all day. But just so many women have impacted my career and my journey. 2 that are really that kind of just stick out is 1. Amber Antlich. She was one of my very first leaders back when I was at Snyder Electric a million years ago. And then Sidney Avalos, also a leader and she kind of pushed me. Amber kind of was a critical person in my just getting into the business world and starting in corporate America and kind of guiding that journey and our paths across multiple times over the years are just really amazing. And then Sydney really kind of pushed me to get out of the comfort zone and she was kind of like, you've reached the, you've kind of peaked here.

21:49 You got to move off. You move off or move out and it was really a cool spot as a leader. That's like, I'm not kicking off my team, but I'm kind of kicking off my team because I know you can be bigger than this role. And it was such an incredible pivotal point in my career and it literally such a trajectory for me to kind of do something different, which led me to wear now, which has been so cool. So those two ladies get specific shout outs, but there's so many others that I can name that have been had an incredible impact on my life. I one of the things that I love about that is specifically the person who's pushing you outside your comfort zone. Like we're going to stretch. And I think there are so many probably high achievers, people pleasers that listen to this podcast that you have reached what like you said, your peak. Well, you've peaked here.

22:39 We've got to go beyond this and it doesn't necessarily have to be that you're looking for the next title within that organization. It could be we're stretching beyond. We're looking at trading in the the ladder for the Rockwall. Right, I I think. To someone that we share is our deceased great aunt, Aunt Joy. Joy Morgan. I mean, I don't think there are words to describe her. And you would probably, yeah, you would probably do a great job describing her. So tell everyone about our great Aunt Joy. So our aunt Joy was the middle, lower end of 13.

23:21 She was a twin. She was one of 13. Kids grew up in the 20s and 30s in Texas and I don't even know if there are words to describe her. She was the feistiest, fiery, fieriest, sweetest, sassiest woman I've ever. And I mean they came from small, plenty sex with no money. She was one of the only, I think only girls that ever had a professional job. But she was so fiercely loyal to her family, but so driven. I mean, she was, I think she went up the range. She was at the Southwestern Bell. She was like the operator, like a phone operator back in the day. And like she was the cool aunt.

24:06 She had the coolest house. She had the sassiest, brightest colored, wildest outfits. Like I wish I had her closet now because she I remember going in college. I went to college to college near there and she had my girlfriends over for dinner and she called my nanny and asked what we like to eat. And she was like, oh, they kind of eat anything there in college. But she really likes Doctor Pepper and she likes, you know, spaghetti or whatever. Me and three college girls. So it's 3 college girls total. We get over there and there are 59 by 11 casserole dishes of pasta because she wanted to make sure that we had all the pastas that we wanted and then leftovers. And there was like two kinds of salad, bread, appetizers. And I was like, there are three college girls here. Who are you feeding?

24:57 Yeah. Remember what's how she was in everything in life. It was like so over the top and so fantastic. And I just remember thinking she was the coolest person on the planet. Full of dignity and grace, Yes, so full of dignity. But with all sounds, 00 regard for what anybody thought of her. And here's what's so crazy. You mentioned she worked for Southwestern Bell. And is that right? Southwest, Bell, Southwestern, Whatever it. Is before he was 18 to 1. I never really knew what it is she did. I just always knew. I want to be like her. She's the person that I want to model myself after. When she passed, you know, it one of our reunions, they had all of this stuff that they brought from Aunt Joy's house, like her things that she collected over time. And I've got her nameplate for it from her office. And I just leave it in my office. And I'm like, that's who that's who I want to aspire to be. And I never knew her title because it's not something that she talked a lot about.

26:05 It was. She talked about things that were so far beyond the title to make it more about the person than the thing that you're striving for. Absolutely. Yeah. Even her husband, our Uncle Jim, he was like some way high-ranking in the Air Force. No idea. Yep. No idea what his rank was. No idea what? And like, they had a lot of really important people, like, in their lives. And she was on the boards of this and that and no idea. No idea what board it was. No idea. Like, I don't know any of her titles other than Aunt Joy. Yeah. But she made you feel so incredibly special when you were around her.

26:45 Yes. It didn't matter. Yes, absolutely. It didn't matter. When you left her presence, you felt something. OK, that's a great way to close this episode. Remind us of your Let me be clear statement one more time. So let me be clear, you are more than your business card. Yes. And the other option that we had for the let me be clear statement, what was? That was that your title does not define you. Yeah. And the 2GO hand in hand. And we chose to start with your more than your business card just because it is I when I think about Aunt Joy, I don't think about that business card. If if you handed me a business card with her name on it, her title, the only thing that I'm going to look at is her name. And the only thing I'm going to think about is how she made me feel when she was around me.

27:38 My favorite quote that I live by is be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody. And I feel like that that mindset transcends whatever title, in whatever role you're in, in any given room. It's about the feeling. It's not about what you call yourself or what anybody else calls you. It's how you make people feel. So that's my mic drop. So, Carly, you've already shared where people can find you. Any other places on the intranets? LinkedIn, Instagram, and then if you are in the need or looking for support from an events perspective, big meetings, incentive trips, anything like that, my company is Bishop McCann and you can certainly find us on that website as well. All right.

28:28 Thank you so much, guys. We'll see you in next week's episode. Bye, everybody. Hey listener, I am so honored that you listened to today's episode and I hope you gained something valuable from it. I'd also be honored if you did ME3 solid favors. First, subscribe to this show. I've got a lot of great content coming up and I don't want you to miss any of it. Second, be sure you're following me on social media platform. You can find me at catch up with KC on LinkedIn or Instagram. And finally, if you were looking to book a dynamic and relatable speaker for your next event, conference, or retreat, I would love to bring a message about how the craft of clarity makes a significant impact on both leadership and life.

29:10 Until next time, always remember clarity precedes capacity.