Episode 63 | Teaching, Parenting & Beating Burnout with Erin Shook

0:02 Welcome to Lead with Hope, the podcast where we explore the power of hope, leadership, and resilience in today's world. I'm Brandy Kelly, and each week I will bring you stories, insights, and actionable advice from leaders, innovators, and change makers who are using hope as their compass to navigate challenges, create positive impact, and inspire others to do the same. Whether you're a seasoned leader or just beginning your journey, this podcast is here to remind you that no matter the obstacle, hope is the fuel that can drive transformation. So let's dive in and discover how you can lead with hope. Hey everybody, welcome back to the Lead with Hope podcast. I'm your host, Brandy Kelly, and today I'm honored to welcome my guest to the show, Aaron Shook.

0:59 Aaron is a high school teacher with 17 years of experience and a passion for creating supportive, balanced learning environments. She is known for her innovative psychology instruction, and she also equips students with vital life skills like time management and resilience. A proud mom of four boys, Aaron brings a unique perspective on balancing family, career, and well-being, fueling her commitment to promoting both physical and mental health for educators inside and outside of the classroom. Welcome to the show, Aaron. So Aaron, why don't we just start today with you sharing your story?

1:42 So I come from a family of educators. My mom was a teacher and my uncle and grandpa were principals and teachers. So I kind of, I always knew that I wanted to be a teacher. And for me, it was really solidified my senior year when I took AP Psychology, had a fabulous teacher and just loved the subject and content. So that's what I majored in and that's what I went into. As far as my story, I've actually done a lot of work recently and kind of examining my own story with an education. I have really been in all areas of education, mostly high school teaching, but I've done both part time teaching.

2:31 I stayed home for a little bit of time. I've been, you know, a full time classroom teacher. And so I feel like I've been fortunate to kind of dabble in a lot of different areas there, and I'll talk more about that later. But I think that's a huge part of my story and kind of who I want to help. I'm originally from the Chicago suburbs, so I was used to teaching in large suburban school districts with, I came from a district of 4000 students to where I'm teaching now, which is about 700 students in a more rural area. We moved due to my husband's job and it was definitely a transition at first going from, you know, just just a lot more opportunities in terms of, you know, electives and everything that was offered and just kind of different student population to where I'm at now. But you know, I've really grown to love where I'm at. I've been able to do a lot of new curriculum developments at my school and that's really fueled my passion. I'm teaching right now.

3:50 You know, it's, it's funny how everything ends up, you know, kind of working out. But I'm teaching AP psychology and intro to psychology now, which is exactly as a senior what I wanted to teach. And it's definitely a subject area that once you get that, it's very hard for teachers to leave it. So it's kind of like you got to wait till somebody retires to get those classes. So I'm super fortunate with the students that I do teach now and just, you know, I'm passionate about the curriculum and content that I teach. Yeah. It sounds like a fun class to teach. And we had the opportunity this summer to coach at the SEL Summit together and you were able to share some of the innovative things that you do in your classroom to foster connection and you you implement those SEL strategies.

4:43 So do you want to talk a little bit about that, Aaron? Sure. I think when I like reflect back on I've been teaching for 17 years. So when I think back like my teaching really shifted, I think the last over the last three to four years, anyone who's been in education knows post COVID things were different. So I think that's been really my focal point is trying to build social connection in my classroom against psychology. The content leads leads to that very well. But I think that's more so than curriculum.

5:24 That's been my focus in my classes. And from that, I've just seen, I've seen enrollment in my classes, you know, skyrocket in terms of that's, you know, I'm at a smaller school and that's my full time schedule, which is pretty, pretty awesome. And just, you know, like today we had my students had finished up some presentations and a couple periods are I teach 4 sections of regular psych and I like to keep all the classes on the same schedule. And some classes had more presentations. So we had, I wanted to with two of my classes, we had like 30 minutes after the presentations and so I didn't want to move on to the next lesson. So what I do in those times is like non screen time. And so I have a whole bunch of games and cards and puzzles and play DoH and coloring and stuff like that. And it's just so fun to watch high school kids play. And that's just every time I do that, you know, which isn't as often as I would like, but every time I do that, I just kind of sit back and watch kids just I mean, I had like boys today playing don't break the ice, you know what, the little Penguin and like hammering away at the little ice cubes and stuff. And it's just it's really cool to see that. And I think that's that's like what's truly missing from a lot of teenagers lives.

6:58 And the more we can get them off screens, off their phones and connecting with each other. It's just it's been yeah, that that has been to me. I think what, what has kind of like fueled my, you know, my want to keep it's to keep getting better at what I'm doing, you know, as a veteran teacher. Yeah, that connection is so incredibly important with the kids and and play I think fosters hope and possibility. It fosters creativity and it's something I think is missing in our kids lives, but it's also missing in the lives of the adults that are teaching the kids. We forget how to play as adults and it's so incredibly important for our lives.

7:53 So thinking about that, Aaron, how do you play? How do you foster that hope and possibility in your life? Well, as you mentioned in the intro, I have 4 boys, so I feel like there's, there's a lot of activity and play. And I, I echo what you're saying though, too, because balancing the responsibilities of that too. I, I think a lot of times as moms and as females, we tend to be less of the ones to play. And like, you know, I think of my husband, you know, definitely sometimes seems like he gets to play with them more while I'm managing a lot of, you know, other things. But yeah, I think I mean that they they take up so much of my time outside of school.

8:42 I mean, they're involved in, you know, a million different activities. So we're constantly going to practices and games and that. But I think that that is something so much and just kind of thinking and reflecting like that. That's huge because we, we don't often play as adults and, you know, just like actually like being OK as a teacher, as a mom to like let your guard down and laugh. And, you know, like, it's like put, you know, like I have to remind myself just because of my personality, like I'm a, I'm a type A like a lot of teachers. I want to be in control. I want to get stuff done if I have a task and you know, like put that aside, like the dishes will still be there and rather like, you know, sit down and play with the kids. I think that's definitely an area that I could I could always improve on.

9:37 Yeah, I think we all could though. I mean, and having fun with our kids and showing them our human side. I don't know. There's just so much goodness there. So that's, I think that's a great take away from this podcast, Erin, is that we need to play, we need to have fun, we need to enjoy the journey because we're not promised tomorrow, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Is sweet, but it's also short. Yes, just going to tap the lights. These are automatic lights that just went off. Yeah, I think that's that is so true, Brandy. And I think when I think about some of the current issues in education with teacher burnout, so much of that probably could be lessened if if there was more of that.

10:32 And, you know, just like just the the natural enjoyment that came from. I mean, obviously like I teach psychology so I could get into the release of like endorphins and dopamine and all that sort of stuff. But like, yeah, I mean that that's that's real stuff. And it is, and I do think play is a protective factor. But you know, I know when stress is high, sometimes I tell myself you deserve that retail therapy or that, you know, that Starbucks coffee or those things that I really enjoy. Maybe a manicure or pedicure. What kinds of self-care things do you do for yourself? How do you take care of you?

11:16 Yeah, I I'm like huge into working out physical activity. I, I love to start my day with a morning workout and just, I, I look forward to every day with at lunch, my teacher best friend across the hall from me. We, you know, we eat our lunch super quick and then we have about 10-15 minutes where we walk a couple laps on the track outside. And it's just a really nice way to get a break from school and just kind of talk about non school related things. And I think that that to me is is huge, just kind of like the physical activity aspect of my life.

12:00 I definitely love a good pedicure too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Facials. Facials are pretty good. Yeah, and. Massages. Yeah, I like all of the things. Yeah, I do too. And yeah, they're, they're farther between appointments than I would like to like to have, but yeah, that sort of stuff. And just, you know, like I really look forward to like kid free time when my husband and I can get a babysitter and go out, you know, on a date just the two of us. And just or just, but even like spending I find as kind of the years go on like my ideal weekend really is not having any plans and just kind of like spending time at home with with my family. Yeah, those are, those are when the memories are made, aren't they?

12:55 For sure. So you've talked a little bit about your teaching and, you know, kids today. I, I think they're the most connected generation, but also the most lonely generation. I think teaching today for the students, the teachers and the leaders in, in our school districts, it requires resilience. So can you share a time when you were a student, faced a challenge and how you overcame that and found hope on the other side? Yeah, I think this, so much of this comes back to that kind of like reflective moment a few years ago when I was really thinking about kind of the question like how can I enjoy my day more at school, you know, what are some sorts of things like that?

13:51 So that's where I think a lot of the SEL stuff that I brought into my classroom has been so huge and just kind of more like teaching kids, you know, like more of the life lessons piece. I do so much with my AP classes. I mean, it's a college level class for many students, it's like, you know, might be the first time that they're getting CS and stuff and that's, you know, so scary. But just really trying to get them to understand that, like learning is a process and that we learn from mistakes and all that. I think we do such a terrible job in education of from an early age, kids learn that like failure is bad when in reality, it's not like it's, it's just life is a constant series of like, you know, it, it like fail, but then learn from it.

14:47 And that's the piece I know we're doing a huge push this year at our school just about like grit and taking ownership over things because that generation, yeah, they, they lost, they lost a lot of that. And I think I'm just always trying to build in kind of that that bigger life message with things. And that's, that's what I hope more than anything that kids, you know, take away. Yeah, 'cause in life you are going to have to have grit. Life. Life is so sweet, but it is hard at times too. And if you are not conditioned to overcome challenges and to utilize your coping skills, it is, it's, it's challenging. And so I think it's a good thing that you guys are really pushing that in your school.

15:46 And I hope more schools do that. And I hope we see a, a change with parents. We have the, I don't know if you've heard of these phrases, but the lawnmower parents, they mow over all the problem or the helicopter parents. And sometimes it is our inclination to swoop in and to save the day and to protect our children from any kind of harm. None of us want our children to be hurt, but they have to learn how to overcome those challenges and develop that grit and resilience for sure. And just learn even how to like, advocate for themselves. I'm always so surprised with students who will be sitting in a classroom with me and they won't, I'll get an e-mail from them after rather than, you know, like talking to me in person.

16:39 So that that goes back to a lot of that social communication, which I'm doing stuff this year back to. Like I have like kids that are standing at my door greeting other kids and like welcoming them to class and like talking about stuff. Like you look at somebody in the eyes, you know, and you you say like, hello, good morning and stuff like that. Because I think so much of that, yeah. That that, that ability to like problem solve and I mean, not to get into larger issues, but just like the ability to have like a a disagreement or a different opinion with somebody else. And that's OK. And you don't have to RIP each other's heads off, but like, you can exist in the same space together and hold different, you know, different beliefs. Yeah, those are also important.

17:24 I'm doing some work with the local CEO, Makuba County CEO. Yeah, is so fun. We are doing self-awareness assessments. So, so far we have done a values assessment, we have done an Enneagram, we have done the disk and just letting those kids understand who they are and their blind spots, their fears, their motivations, their desires. It's been really interesting to see the conversation that they have had around that and to begin to utilize that knowledge to work in a team. Yes, yes. But one of the things I love you said that your students are greeting each day I.

18:08 Love them. Yeah, yeah, that's been so cool. Yeah. With the CEO, something that those kids do very well is when I leave, they shake my hand. And it's not that limp fish shaking out of the hand, you know, it's a firm, full handshake. And those are skills that I think I'm starting to see coming back. But we lost them for a while. So I commend you. You are doing a great job teaching the things that our kids are going to need in their life. But as a teacher, with what you are seeing, if you were to pick your top three skills that you would really like to teach and how you teach them in your class, what would they be? Yeah.

19:02 No, that, that one definitely going back to like the failure being feedback piece, just learning from mistakes. Like in my AP class, I Ioffer test corrections. And it's this, you know, some people argue like why would you allow them to have like, you know, a, a chance, you know, to redo it? But it it's like they learn from their mistakes that they make. And I'm constantly like trying to push them to be like metacognitive about stuff, which is hard, you know, for obviously for for teenagers. So I think that that would be a big piece that, you know, failure's OK as long as you like learn and grow and adapt from it. Another gosh, yeah, 3 three pieces that I guess like. And this is, I guess this is going to kind of go back to like this is going to seem counterintuitive maybe to what we talked about before, but like. Not everything has to be fun either. And I think that's kind of when I think about like, teacher burnout and sometimes like myself and my own feelings, like I shouldn't be doing more than you are in this classroom because obviously, like the way memory works and learning, it's like the more you do with something, the better you're going to retain it.

20:31 So, you know, not everything has to be, you know, this sometimes. Yeah. Like in order to learn best, it's just, you know, it it might have to be on your own. It might not be super exciting. And that's OK. You know, you might have to struggle through reading a passage and that. So I think that and then I, I think I do have to go back to, yeah, like that social, social connection piece of just, you know, learning how to like exist in a space in society with other people that, you know, like trying to understand. I think empathy is something that's really been lost quite a bit over the last decade or so.

21:18 So trying to get to teach that piece too. Yeah, I think those are all great. You know, failure's OK. So teaching kids that early on, I think that's a necessary lesson to learn. Not everything has to be fun. I mean, that kind of speaks to the idea of ownership. You know, you've got to take ownership and have the tenacity to commit to do the hard things. And that builds self efficacy too. If we believe that we can do it or if we believe we can't, we're absolutely correct. So we need to on building that self efficacy. And then of course, that social connection and empathy, which is huge.

22:02 You're, you're preaching to the choir there. I I think that is so incredibly important. And if we don't feel seen, heard or valued, you're done, you know, move on. Because everybody wants to feel important. They want to know that they matter, and they do. And everybody's story matters too. And that's I think why I like that first question so much is because oftentimes people don't get an opportunity to tell their story. Yeah. Important. Or just yeah. And like I said, I think that's one of the biggest things as I get older and do more things is just trying to like reflect more on my story.

22:52 Yeah. I mean you, you have several roles in your life. How do you maintain an optimistic outlook when things get difficult or overwhelming? Yeah, which and that's that's like my newest area of focus is really focusing in on the well-being of educator moms because I just think when you take obviously being a mom, it's such a giving, a giving role and demands so much energy. And then you couple that with being a teacher or working in education, it's like those are two extremely energy demanding, giving roles that I think if we're if we're not careful like that, that leads to burnout. So, so much of this is it sounds like so counterintuitive to like what I feel like we're taught in education, Like it's all about the students and focus on the students, but it's like you have to take care of yourself.

23:58 And that is, that's been kind of my, my biggest thing after I had my fourth son. So he's 4 now. So again, I, I really feel like so much of this kind of when I began to focus more on me was when like everything else kind of, you know, yes, I focused on myself physically, but then like that opened doors mentally, it opened doors professionally. So I just, I can't say enough about it's not selfish to choose you first and everything else like is going to come from you choosing yourself 1st. And I, I'm fully aware that that's not the message that's sent as a mom or as a teacher, but that is, I think from, based on my own experiences, like why I'm able to manage and do what I, what I can is because it, it's my focus on myself. And it goes back to what I call a system of hope. You know, we have to prioritize our well-being in order to take care of others well.

25:20 And that includes things like, you know, you talked about your habits, your habits of physical activity. It's so important. I am a big proponent for journaling. I try to journal, you know, daily. I don't always meet that mark, but I try to journal daily. And just that exercise of putting all of your thoughts on paper is both cathartic and it, it's freeing. It allows you to clear your mind and to kind of have a fresh slate. Oftentimes I do my journaling in the morning, but I've also heard other people do like a brain dump at the end of the day so they can sleep well, you know? So just finding those habits and doing it though I, I think it all starts with mindset.

26:12 Yes, yes, I love to do. I do in the mornings. I do like a 123 framework. So I do like one word that I want to focus on like to kind of guide my day. Then I do two things that I'm grateful for within the past 24 hours, which I mean, the gratitude research is, you know, just wild the, the impact that has. And then I, I try to do three things that I want to like tackle today, whether it be school or home. So yeah, I'm with you there. And then I, I also too, I'm, I constantly am like listening to podcast reading.

26:53 I just think that that, you know, and, and learning more about myself, like learning is so important to me, which is, you know, of course, like you go, you're a teacher, you care about that. But then again, once you start having kids and you get busy with other stuff, that stuff goes by the wayside. So if I'm not like listening to something or reading something, I can tell right away that like my, my mood isn't right. Like I, I need to constantly be, you know, learning and challenged in that way. Yeah, my husband kind of cringes when Amazon pulls up in our drive because invariably they're bringing another book and I've got about, I don't know, maybe 10 over there that I haven't read yet. But I see a book that I want so I order it and it is. I.

27:42 I completely hear what you're saying because I love to read, I love to learn, I love to listen to podcasts, some of my favorite podcasts. OK. And you'll have to share yours, but Craig Grishell, he has a leadership podcast. OK. Amazing. It's probably my favorite podcast right now. And then of course, I like to listen to Jay Shetty's podcast. That's a good one. And Mel Robbins, of course, that's. I feel like that's my go to. Yeah, her stuff. Yeah, so podcasts are amazing. And of course, the Lead with Hope podcast, right? I mean, shameless plug right here. Yeah. There you go. Should subscribe to Lead with Hope so they don't miss an episode to hear amazing educators like you Share your story and give some you've given some really good strategies. I mean that. 123 I set an intention every day, but I like that framework.

28:39 I like that structure and it makes it simple. You know, just one word to focus on two things, gratitude and then three things to tackle. 123 easy as that. Can't get any more simple, can you? No, no. Yeah. Now I think you have a new project that you are working on, something that's fueling your passion these days. Do you want to tell us a little bit about that? Sure. So again, I'm, I'm trying to narrow my focus a little bit. I'd say probably the last year and a half. I've really, you know, kind of, I enjoy what I do in the classroom, but I'm, I'm looking to kind of like expand my reach out outside of just my classroom. So I, I feel like particularly called to, again, based on my own experience and being a full time working teacher mom of four to try to help other educator moms, you know, better balance these two very demanding roles.

29:45 So I've been doing a few, a few free webinars, which is looking at like 3 like again, kind of tactical steps to help beat that burnout. And then I am going to in the fall, hopefully in the next couple months be launching a group cohort of educator moms where we'll work through a six week program where we'll work through these steps to unlocking the burnout cycle. I've created a framework and each week will be a live like coaching call where we'll talk about the like the task at hand for the week.

30:37 There'll be some reflective journaling and then there'll also be like a question and answer call each week. And then coupled with a community of women who are in the, you know, same, same stage. And, you know, I think that that's so important and why I love all of the work related to SELI. Just I always walk away from any conference or group just feeling like rejuvenated because it's, it's nice to share the space with people who are, who get it right, who are in the same, battling the same things. And I think there's so much power and listening, like you said, like hearing other people's stories and learning from them. Community.

31:20 I think we all want community and even the adults. I know our kids are struggling with some mental health challenges, but you know, sometimes burnout can be because we've got some mental health challenges as adults that we need to address. And there's no shame in that. We have stigmatized anxiety and depression and things like that. And, you know, hopefully one day we can completely remove that stigma and people can feel free to to get the help that they need and to ask for help. I think asking for help is one of those strategies that is right up there, you know, among probably my top 10 for sure. But we have to know who we are.

32:03 We have to know what we want out of life. And then we need to, in my opinion, have the courage to go for it. At Spark Hope Edu, I talk about the fact that we build confidence, connection, and courage. So we have a very like mission. And as a working genius facilitator, I believe that burnout is in large part due to the fact that we're doing too much of what is in our working frustration instead of what's in our working genius. And so tapping into our working genius and knowing what really fuels our passion, I think that's key. And I also think that it goes back to what you're teaching your students to advocate for yourself and it's workers or leaders or whomever we are in the education space. We need to know and get really clear on who we are and what we want so we can advocate for what fuels our passion because there's so much that is within our circle of control. Yes, we can change.

33:11 We need to move out of our circle of no control into our circle of control by getting to know ourselves better and advocating for what we need. Yeah, I think that's so powerful. And I think having worked in education for a while now, I think there's a lot of times like teachers, we we tend to like complain and focus on the problems and not the solution. So I love what you're saying because that's one of the things like I'm saying with we are we're kind of Co creators of our own burnout. So if we are, then we can take back ownership and control over exactly what you're saying. What what's in my control? What can I get rid of? And yeah, I I just love that of advocating your own needs. Yeah, yeah.

34:00 Co creators of burnout. I may steal that. I may borrow. Borrow. We don't. We don't steal an education, we borrow. Right, right, right. No, I, I love to share. I'm I'm not one of those teachers that's gonna bite your head off. So with your work with educator moms fighting the burnout, other than getting in your group cohort, is there anything that you want to share with them, maybe something that is giving you hope right now that maybe will give them hope?

34:44 I guess, and this is kind of what I was saying, what I was saying to you before. I, I guess like I've been feeling, if I'm being totally honest and transparent, like again, I, I love what I do, but I've, I've been feeling a little discontented, you know, for the last couple weeks in the classroom and just kind of going through the routine of teaching and all of that. And I think like, I just had kind of like this last night come to me and it's like, well, maybe there's a purpose behind this discontentment that I'm feeling. And so that's kind of been my, that's been what I wrote down today when I was thinking like, what's the purpose behind my discontentment right now?

35:30 And I, I think that that goes back to what you're saying. If you know yourself and you can, you know, you're truly to pay attention to how you feel and like let that be. So that's kind of where I'm sitting right now is just kind of being like hyper aware of that. Yeah, and there are some free tools out there that you can begin that journey of self discovery if you just Google free Enneagram test. That is an instrument that I have found very valuable and it starts to show you your fears, your desires, your motivation, maybe your blind spots a little bit and start there. But also invest in yourself.

36:25 There are things, there are programs, there are cohorts that you can get involved in. Invest in yourself because if you feel like you matter, you're going to convey that to others. If you don't feel like you matter and you're letting that critic in your mind create that narrative and you're portraying that image, then that's what you're going to attract more of. So think it all starts once again with our mindset. Yeah. And I just want our listeners to hear that you matter. You matter and your story matters and there's somebody out there that needs you, needs to hear your story. And so I hope that the people listening today will reach out to you and to learn more, especially if they're an educator mom, about your cohort and the work that you're doing. So how would they get in contact with you, Erin? So I have AI am active probably LinkedIn is the platform I'm active on the most.

37:38 I do have an Instagram teacher Instagram as well. Will you just you'll drop the links in the show notes. I sure will. And then I also have, I do it every other week. I have a newsletter called Life Graded where I just talked about the, you know, balancing the demands of parenting and teaching and try again to just kind of give a story from, you know, my own life and then some kind of practical how you can apply it to your own life. So that comes out every other week. So those are really the three ways. Yeah. Yeah, and I will, I will drop that in the show notes. And I would highly encourage you to connect with Aaron. Aaron is an amazing educator, but she's an even better human being.

38:28 I have been very honored to get to know you and to be able to call you a friend. So thank you for coming on today. And Aaron keep leading with hope. Thank you. Thanks for tuning in to the Lead with Hope podcast, where we share stories and strategies to help you rise, lead, and redefine what's possible. If today's episode inspired you, please take a moment to like, subscribe, and leave a review. Your support helps us reach more leaders like you who are ready to lead with heart, purpose, and resilience. Don't forget to visit sparkhopeedu.com for resources, upcoming events, and tools to help you build a culture of hope in your life and leadership. We're so grateful to be part of your journey. Until next time, keep leading with hope.