Episode 121 | Reframe Your Past, Embrace Intentional Growth & Think Bigger

LWH Podcast Recording: Welcome back to the Lead with Hope Podcast. I'm your host, Brandy Kelly. And on this podcast, we explore the power of hope in leadership and in life. Now, today I am super excited to introduce you to an incredible woman that I have had the privilege of meeting at Jess Ekstrom's Mic Drop Live Conference. Rebel Heasley. Now, our conversation today is going to be a powerful reminder that leadership isn't just about what we can accomplish. It's about the courage to embrace our story, step into our purpose, and make an impact by being authentically ourselves. So, Rebel, thank you for being a guest on the Lead with Hope podcast today.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Thank you for having me on your show. It's a pleasure to be here.

LWH Podcast Recording: So Rebel, let's start off and tell me a little bit about you because most of my guests are from education, but because we met at the mic drop conference, you aren't from education. So talk to us a little bit about your background.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: I am a wife, a bonus mom, a grandmom, a friend, an advocate, but professionally I have been a nurse for 36 years. And I have I started out as a home health aide in doing bath visits in Baltimore, Maryland. many, many years ago. And then I decided I liked healthcare and got my associate degree and started nursing that way. And over the years I've had an opportunity to work with patients in home health, palliative care, and hospice. And that has been a blessing for me. And I did everything from bedside nursing up to and including advancing leadership up into executive leadership roles.

LWH Podcast Recording: when I was in college, I thought I was gonna be a nurse rebel. I pivoted when I was at Greenville University, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and I had to make a decision. And I had to decide am I going to take care of her and take some time off, or am I gonna go into the nursing program at St. John's College in Springfield and At that point in time I decided to change paths and I went into education instead and you know I don't regret a day of it, but I also have a deep appreciation for nurses. We had some really great nurses taking care of my mom.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Excellent. Well, it was a blessing that you had that time with your mom too. That's

LWH Podcast Recording: Yes.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: that's time that you can't get back.

LWH Podcast Recording: Absolutely. And you know, reflecting on our life's journey, that's part of what we do as speakers because I know, that's kind of the next chapter in your life. You're going to be doing more and more speaking. but as you

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Yes.

LWH Podcast Recording: reflect on your journey, Rebel, is there an adversity that has had a big impact on your life or your leadership?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Absolutely. I like many people out there, I Grew up in a typical middle class family. We went to church every Sunday. We had, you know, four generations in the pew most Sundays. And I went to college. I quit nursing school the first time, I have to tell you.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: And then I went back to it a couple years later. But I found myself in an unhealthy relationship, an abusive relationship. And It took me a long time to realize how detrimental that relationship was. And I can't take the credit for realizing it. It was a colleague who helped me see that I was in a very unhealthy relationship and had been isolated from family and friends and co-workers and my church family. And so I had to really dig deep. I guess is the the best description and figure out how to get out of that mess, as I like to call it. And it took great friends, people being placed in my path at the right time, and a very well thought out exit strategy to leave. And I spent a lot of time very angry at God. I had been married once before, so this was a second marriage. And I thought, you know, I've been a good Christian all these years. I've done many things with the church and for the church and led a good life. And, you know, how could God let this happen to me? And I one of the things that I did in the church was I went to church camp for many years. And then was on staff in high school and college and then I went back as a volunteer nurse. And I happened to be there a Sunday afternoon checking in new campers. And good friend, the pastor of the camp, just in passing said, How are you doing, Rebel? And I said, Do you want the standard answer or do you want the truth? And he's like, I always want the truth.

LWH Podcast Recording: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: And so I happened to have this just off the cuff conversation with Pastor Randy that day and and I told him that I was struggling after the relationship and after the divorce and I was really angry at God because I felt like he had left me alone when I needed him the most kind of thing. And Pastor Randy very casually said, you know, God was there and he didn't leave you. It's he doesn't let things happen to you. He's there to help you pick up the pieces when you're done. or when you find yourself in unsitu unfortunate situations. And I that was kind of a revelation for me. And he sent me home with some homework and I read Kushner's book, When Bad Things Happen to Good People.

LWH Podcast Recording: No.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: And it took me a little bit of time to let go of those frustrations and angers. But I was able to kind of pivot from why me, why now? How can you know, how can this be happening? to the mindset of now that this has happened, what am I gonna do about it? And that is kind of the the turning point in that adversity. Took me a while, but I I got there. But with the again,

LWH Podcast Recording: Sure, sure.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: with the right people in my path.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah, and you talk about that mindset piece, I think that sometimes we get in our way when

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Yeah.

LWH Podcast Recording: we're going through that adversity. And as you were sharing that, I couldn't help but think about footprints in the sand.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Absolutely,

LWH Podcast Recording: sometimes we have to remember that when we feel alone. It's Jesus who's carrying us. And I love the the poem that goes with it. the poem kind of goes like this. One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one set. This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat, I could only see one set of footprints. So I said to the Lord, You promised me, Lord, that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I've noticed that during the most trying periods of my life, there's only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why when I have needed you the most You have not been there for me. And the Lord replied, My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: And after the fact, it's very easy to now see how that is exactly what was happening. But when you're in the midst of that chaos with those life challenges, it's very hard to Look outside of the small

LWH Podcast Recording: Yes.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: bubble that you're in and see that he really is there, or that your family is not as far away as you think they are, or your church family isn't as far away as you think they are. It just turns out that after the fact, it beautifully describes exactly what was happening in that season.

LWH Podcast Recording: Right. And it's also a good reminder to us that the people that we surround ourselves with, they are the ones that help us to get better and they encourage us and they support us. And so we have to choose those people very carefully.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Absolutely.

LWH Podcast Recording: you know the cost of the status quo, the persistent feeling of being last on your own list, the isolation of leadership, and the slow burnout that comes from pouring into everyone but yourself. We tell ourselves that we're going to focus on our own growth when things settle down. But that day rarely arrives on its own. If you're ready to step out of that cycle, I'm opening a limited number of spots for the Hope Collective This is a VIP level experience designed specifically for leaders who want to be intentional about their growth and need a circle of peers who truly get it. This group is small by design, ensuring you aren't just another name on a list. Don't let another season go by where your own well-being and growth are sidelined. If you're ready to reclaim your purpose and lead from a place of wholeness, Visit my webpage using the link in the show notes. Now some people, they they get to that point where they feel all alone and and they really feel stuck between what they've been through and what they feel called to do. So for you, is there any advice that you might give somebody that's listening to this today? Maybe their habits, maybe their mindset tweaks. how can they reconnect with their purpose and really get through those hard times to get unstuck, Rebel?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: To get unstuck takes a little bit of, well not a little bit, a lot of personal work. you have to be able to realize that the circumstance that you're in is one chapter in your story. It's one season. It does not have to determine where you are for the rest of your life. And it took me a little while to realize that. But then once I did and I had that. Why me to now that it's happened, what am I gonna do about it? That mindset is how do you move forward? What is it I can do to be the best that I can be? You know, stealing a stealing a line from the army, be all you can

LWH Podcast Recording: Yes.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: it it literally took me a little while to realize that for all of those years that I had been helping. Other people, whether it was patients and families or my team or colleagues, or I did a lot of mentoring, I do precepting for graduate level students. I didn't realize that for so long I was limiting my potential by accepting what was being told to me. And accepting the circumstance that I was in. And so that mindset, you have to have a shift in that mindset to realize that your past may inform you, but it truly does not define your potential. Your

LWH Podcast Recording: Absolutely.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: potential, I mean, you can be anything you want in this life, you can do anything you want in this life. You just have to have enough courage to take that first step. And or that next step, whatever, whatever it is you want to do. And for me, that was going back to college.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: And my divorce occurred in July. And in December, I decided that I was going to start on my bachelor degree because I had just had an associate

LWH Podcast Recording: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: And There's a lot of us that think, I have to wait for the perfect time in my life to

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: do something big or to grow or to advance your personal or professional life. Well,

LWH Podcast Recording: Mm-hmm. Right.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: I will tell you that one of the parting gifts from my relationship, my marriage, was at that time in those dollars, $35,000 worth of debt. In today's world, in today's numbers, that's Sixty four thousand seven hundred forty six dollars in change.

LWH Podcast Recording: wow.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: So as a newly single person, six months down the road, I had not unburied from that. I did not have a good idea of how I was gonna get out of robbing Peter to pay Paul, but I decided at that moment it was time to invest in myself. And so and that was with intentional growth. And so I started into my bachelor degree. working two jobs to pay off my debt. And and then you just literally start one step at a time and it starts to fall together. But it's that mind shift from thinking that your past or your circumstances is where you're going to be forever.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: You have to change that mindset to it's one chapter. It's one season. And it's a short

LWH Podcast Recording: Absolutely.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: season. It's only as long as you allow it to be.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah, that's powerful. I think about the fact that you took that courageous step. You took that step and you made the decision to invest in yourself. And it's not always easy to do that. And and sometimes we have naysayers. sometimes those are the people that are closest to us. They're like, What are you doing? Why are you doing this?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Right. Don't you have other things to you should be focused on, like

LWH Podcast Recording: Yes.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: healing and recovering and you know, your debt and

LWH Podcast Recording: Yes.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: trying to keep a roof over your own head. Yes, absolutely.

LWH Podcast Recording: Right, right. And I have found that a foundation of self awareness, John Maxwell says a self-aware leader is the best leader. And we have to be able to lead ourselves well first before we can really lead others well. And as you were talking, I'm curious, have you ever taken any self-awareness assessments like the disc or the Enneagram?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Yes.

LWH Podcast Recording: anything like that. So talk to us

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Yes.

LWH Podcast Recording: a little bit about your personality style or your behavior tendencies.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: My behavior tendencies, I'm an influencer.

LWH Podcast Recording: Okay.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: and so I'm a kind of a not a high, high eye, but a pretty decent high eye.

LWH Podcast Recording: Mm. Yeah. Yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: And dominance is, you know, a point or two behind that.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: so I'm not as direct as I used to be in my younger years, but

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: but that ability to Capture the attention of the audience or a team

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: and motivate them, encourage them, influence them to do more, be more, and

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: you know, go for the gold. that is where some of my strengths are. And so that's been my leadership for years.

LWH Podcast Recording: So think about before you knew what behavior tendencies or personality style you were. And then after you had that information, how did that impact the way that you led others?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: You know, it's funny. I haven't shifted a whole lot. In coaching team members now, I'm a little more formal in developing a plan for intentional growth since it worked so

LWH Podcast Recording: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: so I used to be, you know, one of my favorite questions for anyone is what do you want to be when you grow up? Because I'm still developing what that is, and I'm still trying new things and learning and growing intentionally still at my age. But I used to ask that question and then just kind of informally help guide them towards where they want to go. Now it's more of a concrete plan. So formal steps, education experience, a little bit of classroom type stuff, then personal experience, reading, getting out there, doing it.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yes.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: And so I've been more intentional about it than just the influencing part.

LWH Podcast Recording: And that's one of the things I love about the disc assessment is the fact that, you get that rapport and and I love debriefing. But I think my favorite thing about the disc assessment is at the very end of it, you create your own personalized growth plan and talk about intentional growth. You Can identify specific goals that you want to work on based on your increased level of self-awareness. And then, have somebody come alongside you and really walk with you, hold you accountable, provide the support you need, give you the resources you need. And I I think back to my younger years, when I was in my twenties or even thirties, I really wish I would have had these resources.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: my gosh, yes.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah, I didn't know about them until I was in my forties.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Think where we could be now if we

LWH Podcast Recording: Yes. So I love these kinds of self-awareness tools. And if anybody

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Mm-hmm.

LWH Podcast Recording: is interested in learning more, you can reach out to me at sparkopeed you.com. Would love to book a conversation with you about this and just explore how I could support you with tools like the disc or the working genius. it really does make all of the difference whenever you do what Rebel did and you get really intentional. on a growth plan that helps you to become the best version of who God created you to be.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Absolutely, absolutely.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yeah. Now, Rebel, we've talked about mindset, we've talked about habits, talked a little bit about purpose. When you think about excellence in this stage of your life, what's that mean to you right now?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Do you know it's changed over the years? Excellence, I used to strive for perfection. I was a perfectionist, which became a frustration because we're never gonna be perfect. There's a human nature side to everything we do. So excellence to me now is being the best version of yourself that you can be every day and getting up tomorrow and trying to do it that much better. And so that's excellence to me.

LWH Podcast Recording: I love that definition. That's exactly how I define it. You know, just one percent better every day and not comparing yourself against somebody else, but comparing yourself against who you were yesterday and just continual growth. I love that. Now another question that I want to ask you, because I ask every one of my guests this question. I love to hear from people what's giving you hope in the world right now, Rebel?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: That is such a great question. What gives me hope is the fact that. I've developed resilience over the years. And I've got that in my back pocket every day. So I approach each day with the mindset of bring it on. There there's nothing really that frightens me. My favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 31, 25. she's clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future. That's it.

LWH Podcast Recording: I love it. That is a beautiful verse. And you know, I've been talking a lot to my husband and and to my kids about what a Proverbs woman really is. Because if you go to the Proverbs chapter, you know, it's not barefoot and pregnant. Some

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Nope.

LWH Podcast Recording: people kind of think that's the Proverbs 31 woman. But the Proverbs 31 Woman, she was a business woman.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Yes.

LWH Podcast Recording: She took care of her family, she took care of her husband, but she got things done too. Yes.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Wisdom, strength, character, all of that, just knowledge. Absolutely.

LWH Podcast Recording: And I am so grateful that we were able to connect. And I hope we can stay connected because I want to see where this journey takes you, Rebel. And if somebody listening today wants to get a hold of you and talk to you about speaking or or nursing or anything, how would they get in touch with you?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: The easiest place today is on my LinkedIn. It is LinkedIn slash rebel dash heastly dash DNP.

LWH Podcast Recording: Okay, can you say that one more time?

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Rebel first name dash last name dash DNP which are the initials for doctor of nursing practice, which is the last degree that I intentionally sought.

LWH Podcast Recording: Yes, so I wanted to capture that because I will add that to the show notes and then people can just

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Excellent.

LWH Podcast Recording: they can click on that and they can reach out to you on LinkedIn. Wanna encourage you to do that and follow Rebel's journey. Rebel, thank you so much for being with me today on the Lead With Hope podcast.

Dr. Rebel Heasley: Thank you so much, Brandy. It has been an absolute delight.

LWH Closing: That's a wrap for today's episode of Lead with Hope. ⁓ Remember, ⁓ the world needs your leadership and change starts with you. ⁓ Fuel your life with HOPE, embrace your purpose, and shine your light for others. ⁓ If this episode inspired you, I'd be so grateful if you could take a moment to give us a five-star rating and share it. ⁓ Every review helps spread HOPE ⁓ and empowers more leaders to rise. ⁓ Thanks for listening ⁓ and until next time, ⁓ keep leading with HOPE. ⁓